Ragnarok-5 Reviews

Cooties (2014)

Children Zombies... that's just a very fowl thing to do.

[2/10 · 27 April 2024]

Children Zombies... that's just a very fowl thing to do.

Very off putting having zombie children. Not really funny. Sure, I knew this is a joke, but still. Also, lack of fan service. There is a little, but it could have been more. Sure, it is more of 4 out of 10 rating, but the children being zombies is just a bit much, and gets another 2 stars deducted.. There are two actors from "The Office", so I guess that is good. It felt more serious than it should have been. I'm glad they had a happy ending with Rainn not being dead. It is unbelievable that adults could be killed by children. The acting is okay, and the music is tolerable. Watch at your own risk.

Tusk (I) (2014)

He should have been taken out of the Walrus Suit.

[1/10 · 6 April 2024]

He should have been taken out of the Walrus Suit. At the end of the movie, he is still in the walrus suit. Why does he still have the tusks, whiskers, and in that suit. Sure, he would have been a guy without a leg, but he would have still looked relatively human, and to have him in some kind of animal sanctuary??? He should have in the hospital, and not there. Finally, I find highly disgusting that Kevin Smith laughing about the ill fate of this character. Who hurt you, Kevin Smith? Smith has clearly lost it, and should stop making movies. He lost what he had. I thought the acting from Howe is atrocious. Long looks horrible with a mustache. Do not watch this. The first 30 minutes is a 6/10. The rest is bad.

Playing It Cool (2014)

Chris Evans should NOT play an intelllectual character

[1/10 · 7 February 2024]

He is too well known for playing Captain America and Johnny Storm. He just can't play that kind of character. He just does not that kind of acting range. The actors and actresses in this movie did a fine enough job. I was just not feeling this movie that is supposed to be a comedy. Some of the scenes are just cringe like Evans dressed up as other characters. Also, they should not have killed off Evan's grandfather. They had Aubrey Plaza. She could have been crazy, funny, or sexy, and NONE of that happened. I've run out of things to say since this sucked so bad. Watch paint dry or grass grow that is worth doing besides watching this movie.

Confess, Fletch (2022)

This is NOT a Fletch movie.

[2/10 · 4 February 2024]

When you think of Fletch. You think of Chevy Chase. Jon Hamm is a poor excuse of a man pretending to be Fletch. Another reviewer said this is the more accurate version from the book. Well, that might be true, but you think of Chevy Chase's version first. Why is there so much R&B/ Blues music in this movie? It was not in the other two movies. Why did the POLICE solve the crime, and not Fletch? That never happens. There are very few jokes, and there is only ONE ACTUAL FLETCH JOKE. ONE. Let that sink in. Sure, the acting is fine. It is just such a waste of time and energy to make something that nobody cares about, and where is all the hot women to look at?

Clerks III (2022)

Mars. I can't believe I'm back on Mars. Three times before this place almost killed me

[1/10 · 29 November 2023]

Welp, the hack finally did it. He killed off Dante. The movie started off okay, but they almost killed off Randall. Well, then we get to see a remake of Clerks. Sure, it is great to see the cast from Clerks again as fatter, older versions of themselves, but it is repetitive to see them again saying the same thing. It is very cruel to have Dante's wife and child killed off like they are. The He-Man joke is very out of place, and Kevin Smith better not think or say anything about He-Man ever again. Kevin Smith is officially retired now since the only movies he contributed to in the Wide, World of Hollyweird filmography is Clerks. No Dante, No Clerks.

Lost in America (1985)

This is a comedy?

[1/10 · 24 October 2023]

There is only one joke I laughed at and it is Brooks saying kill the children to the guy in the car. They could have had 5 minutes with those brats on bicycles tormenting him, but no, they did not do that. How is it funny the wife losing all the money like that? There is no clue that she has a gambling addiction. They could have spent the time showing how they ended this movie, but instead just uses text to tell us what happened. Why is this movie getting a 8 or a 10? Also, the extreme shifts in the the character's is ponderous at best Brooks is going from very angry to a mellow fellow. This movie.....

The Shining (1980)

Slow burn on a whole different level... Glacial slow.

[1/10 · 31 August 2023]

The music is atrocious and very misplaced. Why would you have scary music at the beginning of the movie when showing the beautiful landscape?? Or the first time in the maze with the mom and son. Why is the unsettling music there??? It takes 1 hour and 42 minutes for anything to happen. I laughed when Jack says, "Here's Johnny!!" and Shelley started to scream. How can anyone not like Jack??? Whoever is in charge of the music is an idiot. How is man getting a blowjob scary? Okay, the other guy in the bear suit is unsettling, but come on. Scatman Crothers getting killed in a half a second is complete garbage. Jack getting killed by the cold. Ridiculous.

The Loneliest Boy in the World (2022)

Something Weird just trying to be weird.

[4/10 · 28 August 2023]

Something Weird just trying to be weird.

Visually, it looks nice. Acting is nice, but the problem is the story. It is okay, but not that impressive. Whoever did the synopsis for this movie makes sound IT A LOT MORE INTERESTING THAN IT IS. What I mean by the title of this is a tv show or movie being weird just to be weird like shows from Adult Swim like Sealab 2049 or that junk mouse one that are just stick figures. I think that is just nonsense. The first 40 minutes is the 4 out of 10. The family makes it a lot better. It is a shame Ben Miller is in this. He is so much better than this garbage. Also, it turning out to be a fantasy of the boy, but how does Ben Miller defend the boy if it is all a delusion????

Smile (V) (2022)

Its all a dream.....

[4/10 · 26 July 2023]

None of this happened, Rose dreamed it all. Remember at the beginning of the movie where she leaves the office, and there is about 20 seconds of the camera being in the office.. alone. Its not plausible Rose heard the phone. This is when her nightmare begins.

If you want to assume this happened. I will put my problems with the movie. Unsettling sound effects does not make a scary movie. Also, their is two opportunities of nudity. They should have had nudity there. The movie does give a unsettling feeling while watching it. The end credits music is very jarring. They have a happy song after all that has happened? Really??? Also, I don't think Rose is getting any sleep or very little. Finally, whoever made this does not like people smiling. The writer is a real grumpy puss.

Paranormal Activity (2007)

This made 194.2 million USD...... how??

[1/10 · 24 March 2023]

This is a very dumb and BORING movie. Micah is a complete moron. I'm surprised that he can put his pants on the right way. He burns a cross one of the few things that might protect them, bring in a Ouija board, and refuses to get help from a demonologist. I bet if you told HIM to go play in the street, he would. The dialog is HORRIBLE. I remember the commercials saying this is a scary movie. IT IS NOT!!! The ending is the only action in the movie. That's the only scary part. The rest of the movie is scary sounds, and something is moving on its own. OOooo, scary. Thankfully, all involved are all hobo's now and eating out of trash cans in Los Angeles.

The Culpo Sisters (2022– )

It is a show for rich people.

[6/10 · 19 November 2022]

I think it is an okay show. I think that 90% of the world population would not be into this show because it is for rich people. The Culpo Sisters are nice and are nice to look at. Also, they are zany, and can be funny at times. It is a bit off putting when Olivia is being helped by her ASSISTANT. Who has an assistant? Everybody is very pretty on the show. You think the mom is just a mom then she gets some make up put on her, and she looks really hot. You have to balance the ratio. Finally, this show is not a 2 out of 10 show neither is it a 10 out of 10 show. Those reviews are being disingenuous.

Rubber (2010)

A movie that thinks that its smarter than actually is.

[1/10 · 12 February 2022]

Stupid movie for stupid people. Its not funny nor scary. Its a waste of your time. Avoid at all costs. It had a good scene at the beginning, but its later ruined by another character looking uncomfortable.

MechaRandom42 (2017– )

Nice enough YouTuber

[6/10 · 18 June 2021]

She can be quite entertaining. She has a very unique perspective on things. However, she is somewhat obsessed with Brie Larson. For example, she can be talking about one thing that has nothing to do with Brie, and she decides to bring her up out of the blue. She depends on her boyfriend, Robb, too much with his skits and commentary about things she is not too versed in. Finally, she has a fiery temper, and this can be quite entertaining. It has consequences though.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

Mmmmeeeehhhhhhhhh....

[4/10 · 20 July 2020]

I can't believe anybody would give this 10 out of 10. Also, 93% on Rotten Tomatoes???? This is average at best. A big Mmmmeeeehhhhhhhhh....

Morning Glory (2010)

Insipid trash

[3/10 · 19 September 2019]

A wasted opportunity. It had a great cast that did nothing. Nothing of value was filmed here.

Slender Man (I) (2018)

Pointless and redundant

[2/10 · 8 August 2019]

This movie should have come out 2 years after Slender man the game came out yet it came out practically a decade later. Bad lighting ruins this movie. Not much in fan service except for a shot down the stars shirt. Some Youtubers reviewed this and they were absolutely right.

The Space Between Us (I) (2017)

Stupid people doing stupid things

[4/10 · 2 August 2019]

It makes absolutely no sense that Sarah Elliot wasn't fully monitored and NASA didn't know she got her fat ass pregnant. It seems like she would double bag it, and the guy would wear a condom and she would be on birth control. They are other things I could write about, but I won't Also, it seems like The writing is kind of stupid, too.

Venom (2018)

Words can't even....

[3/10 · 9 July 2019]

Tom Hardy's portrayal of Venom is nonsensical. There was rap music in the opening credits and end credits. Why was this there? I can see other forms of music, but rap???? I could write a 1000 pages how bad this movie is, but I won't. It take 54 minutes for Venom to appear. 54 minutes too long.

19 minutes of end credits is too much,

Don't watch this film.

The Lazarus Effect (2015)

Olivia Wilde is not that scary!!!!!!

[3/10 · 6 July 2019]

Wooof, where to start......

This movie had possibiilties. It just went nowhere. The first 1 hour and 6 minutes was fine for a drama then it got to the "scary" part. Olivia Wilde is an attractive woman, no doubt. Its just you can't stand there and be pretty you have to stand there and be "scary"!!! Come on, Olivia Wilde, use your "acting abilities". You can't let the black eyes do the work for you. I was surprised when she was about to attack her "victims". The victim didn't say you want something to eat or do you want to play some poker because she came up to them like everything was normal, and not menacing at all. I predicted all the jump scares ahead of time, and was not scared in the slightest. Hopefully, this movie seriously damaged Olivia Wilde's career.

Grease 2 (1982)

Everything in this movie is a downgrade

[1/10 · 5 May 2019]

Michelle Pfeiffer is a downgrade from Olivia Newton-John. Maxwell Caulfield and Adrian Zmed were a downgrade from John Travolta. The music is a downgrade from Grease. The story is a downgrade from Grease. The motorcycles are a downgrade from those sweet cars they were driving around in. Frenchy is barely in it. The lyrics "Let's bowl. Let's bowl. Let's rock and roll." was a horrible. How can anybody equate bowling as cool?

Four Christmases (2008)

Tasteless, Classless "Movie"

[1/10 · 30 April 2019]

Reese Witherspoon should be a shamed of her horrible perform in this movie.

Everybody in this movie were phoning in their performance even the babies. Even the babies!!!

There was a scene where Vince and Reese were smiling together. Those were the fakest smiles I've ever seen. The jokes just flat and flaccid just like Reese Witherspoon.

Do not watch this movie.

The Layover (I) (2017)

Two Hotties who can't act

[4/10 · 2 March 2019]

For a "movie" that has Kate Upton and Alexandra Daddario you'd think their would be a plethora of fan service. Was there? Nope. Sure, there was some, but not enough. Why would you have Kate and Alexandra in baggy clothes? Why, God, why?

Kate is a horrible actress. She should smile and be pretty. Alexandra is a little better, but not by much. Oh, there was some laughs. I give them that. It was a mediocre film at best. Finally, I remember the promos for this that makes it look there will be plenty of fan service. The promo lied.

Tentacles (1977)

Don't play with your food, kids.

[7/10 · 19 August 2018]

This was an awkward movie. I laughed at scenes that weren't supposed to be funny like the kid on the small boat getting eaten by the octopus. Oh God, that was funny seeing the mast going down for the final time. The mood of the movie was very odd. All the happy "we're going to sail on the ocean" kid contest was happy then switches to the dark, killer octopus scenes. Very uneven. The music and sound effects were very strange. Sometimes it was nice and soothing, then other times it was jarring. Also, scenes lingering on the actor for too long happened a lot in this film. I could go on.

Finally, if you lead up to a scene where there is going to be a human/octopus rape scene. Show it. Don't tease us. Showing 30 seconds to a minute of a woman being violated by an octopus isn't going to kill you.

I enjoyed it for what it was. It's not the worst movie I've ever scene. I rated this 7 out of 10 might be a bit high, but it just feels right to rate it this.

Bad Moms (2016)

Avoid at all costs!! This is a horrible movie.

[1/10 · 4 January 2018]

The characters are unrealistic. The interactions between the characters are not to be believed. The jokes are horrible. Also, a very mean spirited movie. There is nothing redeeming whatsoever about this movie. I was surprised this "movie" had a budget of $20M. I could see $1,000,000, but not $20,000,000. Finally, this won awards? I could see Razzie awards, but not "real" ones.

Jenny Got a Boob Job (2009)

Interesting romp. *Spoiler*

[6/10 · 7 June 2012]

Its interesting how Jenny's life changed because of the implants. Its a bit unrealistic of everybody getting so turned on by a young female with large breast implants like that and making her class president, head cheerleader, and what not. Is it worth seeing? Sure, why not. Also, Margo Harshman did an excellent job as Jenny's friend. Finally, at the end of the short film Jenny flashed a group of people her breasts. What surprised me is somebody would do that for a short film that is only 19 minutes long. For somebody who got implants in 2008 or 2009 her implants are incredibly fake looking. I suspect these implants are either prosthetics or a really, really bad breast implant job. We even get a really close up shot of her breasts, and they are either real breasts in that shot or the prosthetic breasts skin color is amazingly life like. Its a shame Jenny had to be played by such a plain actress.