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kirneh1
Reviews
Kiss Symphony (2003)
This is KISS? I think NOT! a 29-year fan sounds off
To call "KISS Symphony" a mistake would be an understatement equal to calling the Iraq war a bad war, or referring to the current lineup as "KISS". Gene Simmons needed money, so he decided to jump on the orchestral-rock bandwagon embraced by such bands as Aerosmith and Metallica.
Unfortunately, this event, recorded for posterity at a small concert hall in Australia (whatever happened to Madison Square Garden, guys? Aren't you a New York band?) shows that Gene is more interested in money than band unity. After the "Farewell Tour" in 2000 ended, Gene decided that KISS was the easiest way to make more money, but original lead guitarist Ace Frehley, who'd been tricked into leaving the band in 2000, was nowhere to be found, so club-band guitarist Tommy Thayer was obliged to impersonate Ace to keep the project afloat. Thayer's playing is very subpar to Frehley's; he's often off-key and off-tempo, and he has a serious lack of stage presence. Without Frehley, the KISS car has a flat tire, and patching it with Thayer just doesn't help.
Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001)
Fun movie
I have to admit that I only caught the last half of this movie on cable, but I liked what I saw. John Mann is a capable stand-in (at least visually) for the Alice Cooper-wannabe set, plus (with the aid of stand-ins, no doubt) he gets to kick the bejeezus out of his "evil twin" terrorist enemy and save the day. Say what you will about the "evil influence" of rock 'n' roll music-- this time the rock star is a good guy, and John Mann does the role proud.
Enterprise (2001)
Not bad, but needs a few tweaks (WARNING-- SPOILERS)
Let me start by saying that I'm an original Trek fan-- I saw the last season of the first series at age 3 in 1968. This series (which I will always call "Star Trek: Enterprise") has a very similar flavor to TOS: gung-ho explorers, confict, action and adventure. ST:E has a few problems, though. Introducing "new" alien races in a prequel raises the question, "why haven't we heard of these guys before?"; I haven't heard of the Suliban or Dr. Phlox's race, for instance, and one wonders why they were never once mentioned in any other series. Also, introducing "phase pistols" when the first few episodes of TOS still used lasers (100 years later) is a bit of an oops that Brannon Braga could have avoided by taking the time to research TOS's first few episodes.
Best points: NO BORG to get in the way (and therefore no plastic supermodel in a catsuit and a WonderBra to screw things up and take over the show); no big-name actors (except Scott Bakula) to flex ego and chew scenery; no serious political conflicts (like the Maquis) to bog down the action.
If this had been a show of its own, and not part of the Star Trek legend, I would give the pilot a 10, because it's a great beginning and shows a lot of promise, and very little heavy-handedness. The various oopses I've noted, however, will shave half a point off my score, for a 9.5. I hope the rest of the series will maintain the quality I've seen so far. Best of luck, Captain Archer and crew!
eXistenZ (1999)
Not "The Matrix", but still an amazing film :-) (possible spoilers included)
*POSSIBLE SPOILERS*
If you expect "eXistenZ" to be just like the effects-driven films "Johnny Mnemonic", "The Matrix" and "Total Recall", then don't watch it. If, however, you love thoughtful movies about paranoia in the spirit of "Naked Lunch", "Dark City", "THX 1138", etc., this film will rip your head off, spit down your neck and sit there grinning at you for a week. More a film about the perceptions and limits of the human mind than about virtual reality itself, "eXistenZ" draws upon Cronenberg's fear of the real world (and "normal" sexuality-- gamers must use bio-electronic "game pods" made from mutated animals to play the game). Murder, mystery, surrealism and science fiction all get chewed up, spit out and reconstructed into *extremely* twisted shapes, ala Salvador Dali or Max Ernst. Watchers who aren't careful (or who don't understand Cronenberg's previous work) will get lost/bored/confused very quickly-- the film requires a *lot* of mental exercise. There probably won't be an "eXistenZ II"; but this film has so much in it already, there isn't anything else to say.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
Star Trek V: The Mistake (possible spoilers)
This movie should be subtitled "The Mistake", because that's what it is. Shatner is mean-spirited (assuming Sulu and Chekov are dumb enough to get lost, and allowing Scotty to hit his head on a low-hanging pipe), unfunny (the "go climb a rock" shirt is just dumb) and confuses Star Trek with Westerns.
The best part of the movie, and the only saving grace in it, is the interactions between the Klingons in the battle scenes. Todd Bryant (Klaa) and Spice Williams (Vixis) are *real*, unapologetic Klingons. It's too bad that Shatner is the one who gets to tell them what to do-- no real Klingon would apologize to an enemy, even if he was wrong in the first place.
One serious mistake in connection with the next film: the Enterprise crew gets to be too buddy-buddy and comfortable with the Klingons at the end of Star Trek V. If the state of relations is so good at this point, why do we hate/distrust the Klingons throughout most of Star Trek VI?
Score: out of ten stars, only one, for the Klingon stuff. The rest of the movie is a mistake, and should be regarded as such.
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)
despite plot holes, this is my favorite movie
Star Trek 6 is, in my opinion, the most dramatic film including the original cast. I love the courtroom scene the most-- the Klingons are even warriors in legal circles.
This movie has everything for fans of the original series: action/adventure, a helluva good mystery (who killed Gorkon?), politics, humor ("There is an old Vulcan proverb; Only Nixon could go to China"), hand-to-hand fights, space battles, and even a little old-fashioned politically-incorrect sex-with-alien-babe stuff between Kirk and Martia.
The one plot hole that bugs me the most: how did General Chang get his hands on Shakespeare's work so he could spout it every other line?
Trivia points:
(1) Did anyone notice that the alien Kirk kicks in the "knee" (during the hand-to-hand at Rura Penthe) is either a Jem'Hadar (from DS9) or a close relative? There are slight differences-- Jem'Hadar are gray-skinned, not so big, and (apparently) have no sexual organs. They also speak English very well. Is it possible that the Founders visited Klingon space and picked up this guy's family?
(2) In the scene with the young officer walking to report to Captain Sulu on the Excelsior, he stops in front of Sulu's door and the camera cuts to Sulu's face as the door opens; what we don't see is the added detail of Sulu's name on the door plate. When I met Mr. Takei later, I suggested that a SteadiCam could have shot the young officer as he walked down the corridor, revealing the door plate with his name on it. Mr. Takei said that I had "sharp eyes" and that it "would've been a good idea".
Conclusion: In my opinion, this is the best of the original-series films. It's better than Generations and Insurrection, and just as good as First Contact. I'll shave a tenth of a point off for the "pre-use" of the Jem'Hadaroid and the overuse of Shakespeare. 9.9 out of 10.