Change Your Image
swykk
Reviews
The Coroner (1999)
i rewound the blowgun dart scene 6 times
all i can say is that i have a problem, an addiction, if you will. and that addiction is to horrible movies like this (see my reviews for rock n roll nightmare and rocktober blood). the way i see it, being addicted to trash like this is much better than being addicted to other more dangerous things, i saw the coroner and yes, i laughed until i cried. or maybe i cried until i laughed...it's really neither here nor there.
there's a strip club opener, which is always cause for alarm because if a movie like this puts nudity right at the start, then you are probably in for it. knowing this, i pressed onward ascertaining that i have seen much much worse. then, there's salvation. you see, the killer/coroner uses a blowgun to capture his latest victim, the lawyer who tried to have him put away. i can't possibly describe how funny this scene is...just watch it...and rewind it...and rewind it again 6 times. this is all i really remember about the coroner other than the cliche' finish, which i will let you see for yourself. i was just happy to have spent $1.50 (me and a buddy went halfsies) on a film that made me laugh harder than i had since....well...rock n roll nightmare.
rating- 2 out of 10 because it still was like an hour and 20 minutes for just one really really good 3 minute scene. i recommend you go into the coroner with a friend or many friends that way maybe you could only end up paying like 50 cents each for the rental. i didn't mind paying $1.50 mind you, but a dollar is a dollar.
Lost Highway (1997)
two worlds collide
what i enjoy about david lynch is that he lets you come up with your own conclusions about his films. there's really no concise obvious lessons or points made, which is a good way to lure me in- make me think on my own. lost highway is no different and i'll give you MY interpretation. the following contains VAGUE SPOILERS.
i would think this is a "be careful what you wish for" kind of movie. look at fred (bill pullman), his life is boring to both him and his wife renee' (patricia arquette). she is cheating on him so he makes some kind of wish in his mind to become a more youthful, interesting person-someone renee' could love. renee' is the same way. her life seems boring so subconciously she wishes to bring out her more wild and playful side-alice. the mystery man (robert blake) brings these desires to life, kind of like selling your soul to the devil might. then, their fantasies play out, leaving several casualties-pete (balthazar getty),mr. eddy/dick laurant (robert loggia)and andy (michael massee). nothing ever turns out as desired should definitely be another lesson learned after seeing lost highway.
good performances all around and look for rockstars henry rollins, marilyn manson and twiggy ramirez in small roles/cameos as well as gary busey and rising star natasha wagner. good music too but you would expect as much from something produced by trent reznor.
rating- nobody does mystery like lynch. rip jack nance. 8/10
Fight Club (1999)
tyler durden-poster boy for anarchy
brad pitt is a different kind of actor. he has made good choices (seven, snatch) and really really bad ones (meet joe black, interview with the vampire) but fight club was definitely his best choice of all. his, helena bonham carter's and ed norton's performance were not comparable to anything else i've ever seen. it was all just dead-on and too real.
everything about this film appealed to me. the things i read about the plot. let's face it this world sucks and some of us are not wanted. yep, i get it. i went on to read that david fincher would be directing and seven was awesome. so again, check. then i read the book and loved it. so one more time, check. when i finally saw the movie, it was complete. i couldn't have been happier with the results and i was glad to see that screenplay writer jim uhls stuck to the book for the most part. author chuck palahniuk is the absolute god of satire and i recommend all of his other books for you to read, before they become hit films as well. just so you know, survivor is in the works and i don't mean that lame australian outback crap. so check out not only fight club the movie, but all of palahniuk's stories.
rating- explosive, anarchy, humor, meat loaf, jared leto (the girls like him i hear), etc...what else do you need? 10 out of 10.
Trainspotting (1996)
heroin and friends
this movie takes an odd look at life, more specifically, an odd look at heroin. the dirty, desperate, colorless depiction of addicts is clear and present but the all around feel is more surreal-like you are really seeing the world as heroin users do (i wouldn't know it's just a guess). for all its seriousness, there are several hilarious comedy spots. so when trainspotting brings you down, it picks you back up again...something i have to say i enjoy more than a raw feel (requiem for a dream). strong performances all around by mcgregor and carlyle as well as macdonald, bremner, mckidd and miller. what a twisted group of friends these guys are, let me tell you. keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer, right? that goes for heroin and this group of would be con men/thugs/friends. excellent dialogue and a sweet club scene were also a plus.
rating- you can choose life, i'll choose trainspotting. 9 out of 10
Zombi 2 (1979)
fulci lives...well through this movie anyway
this is one of the grossest films i've seen in my day, and i do seek these kinds of flicks out, so i would know. i don't dare eat much during a viewing and i just sit back and enjoy the gorefeast. no acting geniuses here just good ol blood and guts, the way they should be made. the runaway favorite is the wood through the eye slow shot and i know a lot of people probably already said that, but i don't care...i agree with them. italian horror continues to dominate my collection and the mpaa can kiss my butt, if americans were allowed to make em' like this, the world would be a better place. hats off to you lucio, and may you rest in peace.
rating- they are going to eat you but you'll love every minute of it. 7 out of 10.
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
familiar elements presented in an original manner
as far as movies that make a point go, this one makes several important ones. i am not going to concentrate so much on the cast because all you need to know about them is that they were perfect for their roles. the standout is ellen burstyn, who at times had me wondering how she prepared for this part. christopher mcdonald has a dark comedian role of sorts ala john ritter in gregg araki's brilliant teen drama/dark comedy nowhere. this is where reqiuem confuses me. take the films drugstore cowboy and trainspotting then cross them with a bit more deadpan desperation and you have requiem for a dream. normally i would say that in a bad way, claiming it as unoriginal but in this case there's a huge exception. aronofsky simply made a powerful film with a spectacular score by pop will eat itself's clint mansell. make no mistake folks, reqiuem will grab you harder than trainspotting did (although in retrospect i like trainspotting more), it will make you more depressed than american beauty, and it will leave you wondering why there was no sign of life inside this downward spiral that all of characters were on. once reqiuem starts falling, it falls very fast.
rating- warning- this film will change your mood for the worse even if you like it. get the DVD if you can because of the excellent special features. other than that, i'd give it 8 out of 10 overall.
Mallrats (1995)
chaos? zaniness? a kevin smith film craves these things.
it was supposed to be the new animal house. it was going to make millions. it starred phantoms' ben affleck(see DVD commentary for details). what went wrong? the answer is that between distribution and stupid people ( not me i wanted to see it but was living in chesterton-a small town in indiana, and it never showed out there) it bombed despite it being my favorite comedy ever once i got to see it. brodie bruce is near and dear to my heart, and if i had to choose who i was in the new jersey trilogy, it would be him for sure. jay and silent bob do their duties as the new age bill and ted (though jay and bob are much smarter characters) while mr. affleck scores in the "heavy role" (again consult the commentary).
rating- ben before he was saving the world...claire before she met joe black...lee before he was kissing a fool, no wait, that's not a good example but see mallrats, damn you! it's the best of the trilogy, in my opinion.
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
i am the only person that liked this i think
call me nuts...call me stupid...call me whatever you want, I LIKE TOM GREEN!!!! and furthermore, i liked his movie. it was genuinely funny although it was typical green antics like just about everything done to his on-screen father, rip torn. yes, rip torn. enjoy the sausage song...enjoy anthony michael hall...enjoy shaq...enjoy tom green!!!
rating- 6 sausages out of 10 lebarons.
The Crow (1994)
there isn't a better film out
tragic as it is that brandon lee died near the conclusion of the production, there was no other man that could've played eric draven. a brilliant death + resurrection + revenge + sorrow - sanity plot drives this film to the very top of my list of over 600 films seen. of course a lot went into this masterpiece besides lee. none of this would have been possible without james o barr, the creator of the crow comic the movie is based on. the directorial (to my knowledge) debut of alex proyas proved to be the most impressive one i have ever viewed. supporting cast ernie hudson(burnt out beat cop albrecht), rochelle davis (sara-the lost yet streetsmart kid), david patrick kelly (t-bird, ringleader of the gang of thugs that do draven in), and michael wincott (top dollar, the overlord of the city's crime), in his best role to date, add momentum and structure to an already spectactular story. the soundtrack was dead on as well, which combines the likes of nine inch nails, the cure, henry rollins, helmet, and pantera with the actual score composed by graeme revell. the crow is one of few films where everything came together...almost.
rating- god-like. please, if you have a DVD player, be sure to buy/rent the collector's edition discs and check out all the extras that include: interview with o barr (really emotional stuff here), interviews with cast (lee, hudson, kelly...etc), deleted scenes montage (includes missing skull cowboy scene).
Rocktober Blood (1984)
laughing makes the killer and the viewer happier
Man,oh man did we (a friend and I) strike gold with this piece of cinematic treasure! A plot analysis (lol): Billy the rockstar decides making bad metal songs aren't enough so he kills off most of his friends, save his girlfriend who manages to escape (something I am glad I did not try to do from this film). She gets poor Billy executed for the crime and starts over.. as the new front woman of his terrible band! Of course, Billy boy returns from beyond the grave to kill again and laugh a bunch of times in a very ridiculous manner. Is there more to this than meets the eye? I don't remember-I was laughing to hard. This is definitely a movie you need to take a few alcoholic beverages in with a few friends before hand to fully enjoy, but make no mistake about it, enjoy it you will!!!
The Doom Generation (1995)
amusing yet depressing real life fantasy (make sense?)
this is easily my favorite part of the three film teen trilogy by gregg araki. as much as he ridicules certain social classes he gives them justice as well. i enjoyed this because i think that when people put down araki for works like this it's because they are forgetting they themselves have been in perhaps less dramatic but similar situations as the characters in TDG: unfit/abusive parent(s), relationships, growing up, sex, drugs...etc. the movie features rose mcgowen (amy blue) and jonathan schaech (xaiver) in excellent early roles as well as cameos by peter brady, jan brady, perry farrell, skinny puppy and parker posey. like my review of nowhere says "have a sense of humor"
Suspiria (1977)
stylish giallo which is no surprise to me
This is probably the trademark of famed Italian horror master Dario Argento, and with good reason. Odd colors and scenery mixed in with an intricate story of terror makes the viewer get down on his/her knees and cry out "What the hell ever happened to good horror like this?!" Jessica Harper turns in a decent performance in the 1st part of the "Three Mothers" trilogy, which to this day remains unfinished. Argento really knows how to lay on the gruesome fatalities as he proves time after time in this movie alone, as well as other classics TENEBRE, OPERA, and PHENOMENA (all of which I recommend). Check out the killer theme as well developed by Argento himself with the band Goblin, who has done much of the music for Argento films. Don't try to go to sleep to that main title theme.....
rating- it's such a holy experience, you'll go blind, baby!
The Way of the Gun (2000)
stylish cast and dialogue equals success
why did no one see this film? when me and four others went in confident to find a room full of equally shocked people (the whole ryan phillipe action star thing) we instead only saw two others. nonetheless, we were not let down. this film delivers the goods! strong perfromances come from james caan, benicio del toro, and phillipe. the ending leaves something to be desired but it's sometimes better not knowing how things turn out. rent this when it comes out and give it some justice, will you?
The Shining (1980)
alcohol or the paranormal?
this is the scariest movie i have ever seen. i still live in fear of those twins. my friends have an apartment with hallways like those found in the overlook hotel and i am always on the lookout for little boys riding big wheels and/or little girls telling me to play with them forever. anyway, i love the way the late and great kubrick directed this even though i hear all the time that it doesn't follow the book. the best thing about the shining is the psychological war that is waged upon both jack and you, the watcher. is all this stuff happening or is it all just "cabin fever?" check this one out for sure for its suspense, horror, and the comedy spots in between.
Nowhere (1997)
sex, drugs, and the apocalypse
a fitting end to a funny yet dramatic trilogy. nowhere is the least serious of the three, and yet the ending was saddening. an all star cast, featuring sexy heather graham, carried this movie to greatness. director araki concentrates (as always) on backgrounds-especially colors, so be sure to take in the different surroundings while viewing this. one should also have a sense of humor as all kinds of teens are bashed with the witty araki trademark dialogue. dark is a true anti hero and while i personally believe the doom generation is the better film, james duvall's role as dark here has much more depth than the dopey jordan in tdg. enjoy it and laugh a little, can't you take a joke?
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987)
let's tune our weapons
this is by far the best of the worst. thor's wardrobe is that of 80s hair metal fame. the character stig's accent magically disappears near the "conclusion" of the film. the showdown between thor and stan is classic to say the least. easy to find so go rent or buy it now!!!