ChrJahnsen Reviews

Babylon (I) (2022)

What a horrible and disgusting mess!

[3/10 · 31 January 2023]

I get it. It's supposed to portray the excess and perversity of the roaring 20's. And it most certainly does that.

The good parts: I definitely love the extremely long one-takes. They are stunning, and the film is definitely very beautiful for the most part. I also laughed more than once, especially when the assistant director completely loses it after about 10 failed takes. And Margot Robbie is absolutely wonderful - in fact, she might even be better than ever, so it does not completely fail.

But you need not show a man getting urinated in the face by a prostitute. You need not see a man getting absolutely showered in elephant s***. More than once. Or a guy taking a rat and biting its head off. Or a midget holding a gigantic penis which suddenly sprays gallons of whatever on everybody. You can actually imply it and the result is exactly the same but without the vulgarity. Less is more. You need not be utterly vulgar to show somebody else vulgarity.

The ultra fast cutting in some places is just annoying. They make music videos from the 90s seem calm and relaxing!

Also, the concept of "common thread" is a totally strange concept to the writer. The film is an absolute mess from start to finish, and a lot of scenes are downright malplaced.

I have only walked out on a film once in my life. Now I have done it twice. After two and a half hours of vulgarity, messy manuscript and a story that became more and more bizarre, my mother and I had had enough.

I can't recommend this train wreck to anyone. It's vulgar, messy and bizarre.

Westworld (2016–2022)

It could have been SO much more

[5/10 · 18 December 2022]

ENOUGH WITH THE ENDLESS BLURRING AND CUTTING!!

I adored the original film from 1973 and really looked forward to this series. Episode 1 was just great and they had implemented everything so brilliantly. They way the techs and analysts work with the hosts. The little tablets. Hosts being created. The host data on screens. Animals baing trained. Log files. The violence and indulgence. The gore. The atmosphere. Awesome! And yes, a bit of mystery is always nice and there is some already in episode 1 with Ed Harris' character. It's all fine and Anthony Hopkin's doctor is breathtakingly good and always keeps you wondering.

And then it all goes wrong. An avalanche of cuts back and forth that may be peaking your interest at first, but come episode 7 or 8 you've just had ENOUGH!! Hosts are constantly having visions, most of the time without the slightest indication that we're actually seeing a vision, and the production constantly cuts back and forth as if their life depended on it. Between past and presence, dream and reality, now and not now, spirit world, perfect world, Ninja Turtle world, Medievalworld, Romanworld and Westworld!! ENOUGH!!

Season 2 was the chance to start something new, but unfortunately it continues right down the same road again. Cue another avalanche of cutting and switching back and forth. Season 3 is downright silly and don't get me started on season 4.

They had the most perfect basis for possibly the best TV series ever, the budget and the great actors were in place and then the script writers just effed it up completely.

They Shall Not Grow Old (II) (2018)

Beyond overwhelming!

[10/10 · 13 October 2022]

Most of us with historic knowledge knew it was a horrible time and are really grateful for not having experienced those years.

Then Peter Jackson and team comes in and presents it to us in 100% restored HD, sound added, the most perfect colour conversion I have yet seen and even more impressive: frames added! Computer software is now so sophisticated that it can take footage from 100 year old crank-operated cameras with the resulting variable frame rate of cirka 12-18 fps and then create all the missing frames needed to make modern 60 fps film. Gobsmacking!!

And then the icing on the cake: then they lip read every soldier and have actors speak it and add it to the film. When all this happens, it becomes so much more overwhelming and so much more apparent what horrors these poor young men lived through!

Elvis (2022)

An absolute masterpiece about THE KING

[10/10 · 27 June 2022]

Being a big Luhrmann fan, I expected this to be an absolute fireworks display of brilliant cinematography, splendid acting, fabulous music and a brutally honest portrait of the undisputed all-time KING of entertainment. "But of course!", said Baz, and gave us exactly that! I rarely come out of the cinema thinking that I have just seen a masterpiece, but I sure did last night. This is the best film I have seen in years, and it really has no weaknesses. Everything is top notch, and so it's pretty hard not to give it 10 out of 10.

What I particularly enjoyed (apart from the cinematography, music and acting) was that it really makes an effort to tell the true story about everyone involved. For better and for worse. Parker did pressure Elvis into performing and he was addicted to gambling, but he was also the one who made Elvis the biggest star of all time and he negotiated many great deals for him - again and again, and he did take excellent care of the family when Elvis' mother died. Elvis was under a lot of pressure because so many people were scrounging off him, but on the other hand he was not innocent when it came to taking all those prescription drugs. He knew what he was doing (which has been confirmed by plenty of the surviving members of the "Memphis Mafia"). Although Elvis loved his mother a lot, she was a very dominant person and an alcoholic. Although his father did not enjoy seeing his son being pressured into diong gigs, he was also a wimp who failed to stand up to Col. Parker. Although there are some minor artistic liberties taken, the whole picture is absolutely fair and in the true spirit of Elvis.

If you have even the faintest interest in Elvis, this is a must-see! Brilliant!!

10/10.

Driven (2001)

Gorgeous cinematography ruined by awful CGI and an abysmal script

[2/10 · 18 June 2022]

I love Sly and I have watched pretty much all his movies. And I'm happy to say that he isn't the problem here. Neither is the direction, the cinematography or a lack of gorgeous women. It's all there. The film looks great and the filming of the race cars in action is pretty damn awesome. So is the presence of real Indycars and drivers. It could have been SO great.

Maybe this film is enjoyable if you know absolutely nothing about racing. And I do mean nothing. However, if you're a race fan (and chances are that you ARE one because who else would watch a film like this), then bring a crowbar to straighten your toes out again after watching this train wreck of a movie. The manuscript is basically clichés just lined up around the block! The ever-present gas pedal that is only 50% engaged and then - BOOM, the driver can suddenly floor it and produce 500 more horsepower to rocket past his opponent. The crashes that are just absolutely ludicrous. The zero presence of race marshals around the track. The ENDLESS radio babble from the pit wall which would drive any real race car drivers nuts after a few laps! The 90-degree twisting and turning of the steering wheel (in an Indycar traveling at 300 km/h on an oval track!). Oh, and two Indycars traveling through the streets of Chicago at full speed without problems. And a rain storm that would make the Asian monsoon blush! And our two heroes winding up at the back of the field but then just passing every other race car in the field like they're standing still.

And then on top of it all: it looks like the film company spent about 25 dollars on CGI. This is the most embarrassing computer graphics I've seen since Air Force One. Did they use a Commodore 64 for it? Just downright feeble! The coins, the rain, the manhole covers ... strewth!

I give it one star for a great looking cinematography and one for the ever cool Sly. That's all. Everything else: appalling!

Designated Survivor (2016–2019)

Season 3 is what's wrong with the world today

[6/10 · 21 October 2020]

Season 1 was brilliant! 10/10 Season 2 was very good and I'll give it 9/10 Season 3 get's 1/10 and that star is for the very decent acting, especially by Italia Ricci and the very touching scenes with her mother. Everything else is absolutely horrible and I stopped watching after episode 5. I simply could not stand more political correctness, victim mentality and everybody saying all the right things - which of course means everybody talking about race, race, race, race, evil white man, the Republicans are evil, transgender, sexism, sexism, sexism, race, race and more race. Season 3 is full of this tiresome rubbish and it's sheer torture.

The Good Traitor (2020)

Story is great but cinetography and pace is awful

[5/10 · 22 August 2020]

This could have been a much better film than it ended up being. The story is a very interesting one that needs to be told, but the pace of the film is really toe curling at times. All of his family rubbish is completely irrelevant to the film and should have be left out. In fact every single scene with the ambassador's wife seems to be there to make the film last 2 hours when it should only have been 90 minutes long. They should have been deleted from the manuscript during the very first drafts.

Add to this that roughly half the imagery is filmed in something I utterly despise: handheld! And for no reason whatsoever as it is so often seen with director's who haven't a clue. This was a constant source of irritation to me throughout the film and when the pace of the film often got on my nerves as well, I ended up having watched mediocre film that left a very mixed impression.

Diego Maradona (2019)

How all documentaries should be!

[10/10 · 3 February 2020]

Absolutely wonderful! A beautifully honest portrait of the best football player ever - with the good and the bad. Fabulous music by Brazilian composer Antonio Pinto, wonderful remastered pictures from the 80s and perfect pace. This is the best I have seen in years. I highly recommend this for any football fan.

Ford v Ferrari (2019)

Could have been epic, ruined by cliches, and a total apathy for accuracy, film pace and realism

[3/10 · 24 November 2019]

If you know bugger all about racing and don't care about an avalanche of Hollywood cliches, I'm sure you will love this. It's beautiful, Bale and Damon are wonderful as always, the sound it wonderful and there are more than one funny scene that made me laugh.

However, if you are interested in racing and Le Mans, you will find this toe curling. First of all because of all the cliches are just standing in line for the full length of the movie. Most of all the ever-present protagonist-driver-changes-gear-and-reveals-that-he-hadn't-floored-the-accelerator-until-now stupidity. In fact they repeat this once every five minutes. And of course the drivers' ability to look over at other drivers for seconds at a time while they sit in a race car that does 974 km/h! Oh and of course the Hollywood cliche that never fails: Le Mans drivers that drive like it's stock car racing. Slamming into each other, going off the road intentionally, spinning and crashing out in epic fireballs ... they are all there in their vomit inducing glory. There's the totally unrealistic racing environment, handling of the race cars, driver and pit crew behaviour, a totally unbelievable person gallery and a farcical historical depiction. And of course there is the oh-so-evil suit and tie wearing villains and the oh-so-good heroes, which we are supposed to believe actually existed.

Sigh! I felt absolutely nothing for any of the people at the end. Neither for the good guys nor the bad. If you are a racing fan, don't go watch this garbage.

House of Cards (2013–2018)

I will not watch season 6

[10/10 · 5 June 2019]

And that is for the simple reason that they decided to fire Kevin Spacey despite the fact that a man is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. There is zero evidence against Spacey, and I refuse to believe he is guilty. So I will not support this lunacy.

Having said that: the 5 seasons I have watched is quite simply the best series in the history of series. I can't put my finger on anything bad. Plot, cinematography, acting, music - everything is sheer perfection, and I will always treasure my 5 seasons on blu-ray.

Thankfully, they are punished by the ratings for season 6 - every day. Starting to regret it? I wager they are.

Jiseul (2012)

First time I have walked out on a film

[1/10 · 5 March 2018]

I have absolutely nothing good to say about this film. It is hands down the worst I have ever seen, and so far it is the only time I have ever left a cinema before the film was over. I endured 45 minutes while several other people walked out. Then I caved in from the torture and gave up. The direction is bizarre. The script is the most dire I have ever seen. There is no storyline. The dialogue is downright ludicrously weird. The constant howling of the wind really gets to you after a while. And after a cirka 10 minute scene of two soldiers standing on their heads right in front of each other while exchanging words that would make the biggest fruit loop in any sanatorium jealous, I had had enough.

I enjoy cultural masterpieces such as David Lynch's Mulholland Dr., but this ... ! Yes, I realise this may be "culture" on some level, but it sure is not for me in any way. Don't touch this with a 10 foot pole!

The Shape of Water (2017)

Stunning to look at, great acting but a rubbish story

[7/10 · 19 February 2018]

Mixed feelings about this one, I have to say. A slight spoiler alert is needed here, if you haven't seen the trailer. If you have, then you have seen half the film, as it so often is with modern trailers, regrettably.

The cinematography is absolutely stunning and there isn't a scene in the film that your eyes won't feast on. An absolutely stunning film to look at. The acting is also just wonderful, particularly the villain. Michael Shannon is fabulous as a bad guy :), and more importantly: there aren't any weak links. All the acting are great or better.

But the plot is rubbish. The love part simply isn't believable, the story is ludicrously unrealistic and you're just not feeling convinced by any of it. Not going to watch it again, but alright, I had a decent trip to the cinema at the end of the day.

7 out of 10.

I, Tonya (2017)

A masterpiece

[10/10 · 1 February 2018]

I don't want to get too much into the Tonya Hardings / Nancy Kerrigan story, because that's not why I give this film a 10. It is because this is simply two hours that fly by! Everything about this film is top notch. The cinematography is brilliant. The soundtrack is possibly the best I've ever heard. The storytelling is fabulous, right up there with films like Magnolia. And then of course there is the acting. Stunning. Absolutely stunning performances by Margot Robbie and Allison Janney.

I can recommend this film to just about anyone above the age of 18. A masterpiece!

Twin Peaks (2017)

Two stars for the acting. Everything else is garbage.

[2/10 · 21 January 2018]

I'm a die hard fan of the original two series. I loved everything about it. I also adore films like Mulholland Dr. and Lost Highway. But this absolute cowpat of a attempt to revive the series reeks of desperation and money harvesting. It has bugger all to do with the original series. The atmosphere is gone, the beautiful music is gone, the tempo is absolutely ludicrously slow and the plot is downright boring.

The attempts at throwing every single actor from the original series back into the story - one way or another - are just so feeble. Especially Audrey Horne and James Hurley - they just reek of desperation.

Lynch never used bad actors and neither did he on this occasion. They get two stars because more or less everyone is great. Everything else gets a nice round zero. This is not Twin Peaks - in any way, shape or form. It's just a desperate attempt at repeating the success from the early nineties. Failing miserably.

A lot of people are going to stand around like in The Emperor's New Clothes claiming that people "don't understand it" and that it's absolutely brilliant! Don't believe the hype. Believe the little child pointing at the king saying: "But he's got nothing on!".

18 hours of my life that I will never get back. This is dire and I think it's an insult to Twin Peaks fans everywhere.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Well, they got two things right ...

[2/10 · 13 June 2017]

The location of the event and the date. The rest is made up Hollywood rubbish from start to finish. Add to this all the clichés that are just standing in line to be served to the popcorn munching audience and the love story that you really don't give a toss about. Then you have this cow pat of a film. Don't ever waste your time or money on this bilge.

The Love Guru (2008)

Hilarious

[9/10 · 2 June 2017]

I really don't understand why people don't think this film is funny. I laugh more or less constantly. Yes, 80% of the jokes are below the waist. So what?!? I'm a grown man who's not afraid of my inner child, and I think a town names Harinmakeesta is hilarious. I think the ball gazing trick is great fun. I think Timberlake is great fun as the goaltender who's hung like a horse. I think the guru's book titles are incredibly funny.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Mr. Scott, please stop this silliness now!

[5/10 · 15 May 2017]

I'm afraid this film was exactly what I was afraid it would be: Prometheus 2. Even though I definitely didn't like Prometheus, I decided to give it yet another chance, even though they haven't made a decent Alien film since Alien³ (Yes, I absolutely loved the third one :-)).

Having seen it yesterday, I simply don't understand why Ridley Scott would agree to make another hopelessly messy, confusing and substance devoid piece of garbage. Does he need the money? Otherwise why would he make a mockery of his own legacy?

First the positives: the film is gorgeous looking. That's about it for the positive things. Other than this, the film is messy, the plot is ludicrous, the story is predictable and sloppy and lacks any kind of thread and the characters make exceptionally stupid decisions more or less continuously. Also, this is by far the most gory Alien film, which - as you can probably imagine - is saying something, but I really can't see why you would make it even more full of blood, slime and entrails than the good Alien films (The first three). I consider myself extremely unaffected by blood, gore and beheaded bodies, but several times during this film I was sitting there shaking my head: "Oh come on! Making it gorier than a Saw flick doesn't make it a good film! Get a grip!".

I'm afraid this has made me much less excited about the new Blade Runner film, which I am going to watch later this year. I wish it hadn't, but I'm afraid that effect is inevitable. Now I fear it will be another Hollywood attempt at milking a legacy while shitting all over the original film's reputation. :(

The Olsen Gang - Final Mission (1998)

Absolutely pathetic attempt at milking it

[2/10 · 17 October 2016]

As a gigantic fan of the 13 original Olsen-Banden films, I had to see this even though I had very low expectations. However, I knew 5 minutes into this film that even those were not going to be met. The script is horrible and has nothing in common with the original films. Erik Ballings magic as a director is missing. Yvonne, an absolutely essential figure, is missing. And Balling's replacement director Tom Hedegaard managed to alienate even the peaceful Ove Sprogøe, who is rumored to have told him: "Don't bloody tell me what to do! I know what to do!". On top of this, Hedegaard died before shooting was finished and then Poul Bundgaard died from a heart attack two weeks before shooting was over and had to be replaced by Tommy Kenter. All in all, this project should never ever have been even considered.

Or to quote Ove Sprogøe, who actually said this to the the press after watching the film: "Utter sh*t!". The only reason this gets 2 instead of 1 is because the original three actors are in it.

Save your money and time - this is dog sh*t!

Alien 3 (1992)

I really don't get all the negative reviews

[10/10 · 14 May 2016]

Rotten Tomates, reviewers all over the world and even David Fincher hated it, I know all that. Well, I LOVE it! David Fincher has since grown into my favourite director of today, but that's beside the point.

Just because a film is not what people expected doesn't mean it isn't a great film. I think Alien³ is severely misunderstood. One should see it for what it is: a third Alien film, which - just like the sequel - aims to be something entirely different than the other two. This is a "Where am I? And where is that thing that's scaring me shitless? Who's gonna be next?"-film.

I really loved the cinema version, but the Assembly Cut is absolutely fabulous! SO atmospheric and so full of little details. I love the atmosphere of this film. I love how it's set. I love the plot! I love how once again they try to make a completely different Alien film, just like the second was so much different from the first one. I like how they mainly used British actors to show that they have a different accent on a far away planet like this. I love how the intro is cut. I love the lighting. I love Charles Dance - the duke of cool. I love Brian Glover as the warden. I love Ralph Brown as Mr. "85" Aaron. I love the way you never know where you are, just as it was intended. I love all the extended footage from the 2003 Assembly Cut. And I love the ending, even though I was of course appalled the first time I saw it.

No, I just don't get all the negative reviews. I absolutely love this film. Yes, Aliens (the second one) was the best of the lot, but I think Alien³ is every bit as good as Alien. It is the 4th one in the series that is an embarrassment. Houw, talk about a shameless, dogshit attempt at milking a great story for more money! But that's a different story.

Casino Royale (1967)

Not sure what it aimed for, but it sucked at it!!

[2/10 · 24 January 2016]

I always liked the Bond franchise and the way it changed throughout history. There is a great bit of difference between Dr. No and Skyfall. To say the least. However I decided to watch this "not genuine" Bond film to make sure I hadn't missed anything. Now I wish I had given this a miss. This film is an absolute disaster of a Bond film. David Niven is a wonderful gentleman and actor, but here the manuscript makes him a downright clown. Bond is not cool in any way in this film. He is a modest and easily surprised farcical character. The lines may have worked in the 60s, but in 2016, they are downright ridiculous. The special effects and stunts are non- existent - that is to say that even though they were limited in the 60s, the other Bond films from that decade show us that it can be done SO much better. The plot is a joke - at no point during this turd of a film did I feel the least bit excited or interested in what was happening next. They even (almost) manage to make the absolutely brilliant Peter Sellers appear indifferent and sad. Almost! Every other character in the film are downright unconvincing, regardless of how good an actor/actress they chose for the part. Don't waste two hours of your life on this. It is dire!

Gold Coast (2015)

Very forgettable

[4/10 · 22 July 2015]

I saw this film yesterday with my family. It was s-l-o-w, boring for about 90% of the time, largely pointless and way too long. On top of this, my entire family agreed with me that there is more than one plot hole which really topped it all off. Disappointing to say the least! Oh yeah, and the music is the most inappropriate I have ever experienced. It is so totally out of touch with the film and the age of slavery - some strange pounding techno. At times it goes into much more soothing and pleasant style, which I really likes, but I totally stopped concentrating on the film at least 5 times, because I was wondering what the hell that style of music was doing in that scene?!

The only good thing I can say about it is that it's really really beautiful and it makes an effort to show the geography and nature of Africa. Jakob Oftebro is a terrific actor but he can't save this film.

I was actually surprised I only fell asleep once, and after the film I was relieved to find out that mom, dad and brother felt the exact same way. This film is slow, boring and totally without a flow. Several of the characters are really poorly worked through and very unimpressive. On top of all this, there was plenty of that pointless thing I really hate: hand held camera! 98% of the footage is shaky because it is not filmed on a tripod or steady-cam, and I just absolutely abhor it!! I see no excuse for all that shaky footage when it doesn't seem to serve any purpose - here it is being used through even the most peaceful and tranquil scenes, so it is obviously just there to make the director appear more intellectual. Failing miserably, I must add.

I highly recommend giving this one a miss. It's the poorest film I have seen in years.

Rage (2014)

A cow pat on life's highway!!

[2/10 · 12 January 2015]

This is gonna make you laugh: the only reason I give it 2 instead of 1 is the lighting. Yeah, I actually thought it was beautifully lit :- D. However, it is the only positive thing I have to say about this turd of a film!

Nicholas Cage used to be a man I had a lot of time and respect for. I loved him in Bringing Out the Dead and Leaving Las Vegas. However, he must be pretty desperate in order to stoop to this ridiculous garbage. Perhaps he hasn't put any money aside for his old age. I can think of no other reason for him to accept a script this feeble.

The clichés are just standing in line to get their time on the screen. It's all there: - Hero bursts into a room with about 28 armed bad guys but he manages to kill them all anyway with the aid of creative film cuts, very slow moving and stupid henchmen and a knife ... - Hero sits on his bed doing oh-so-wise inner monologue while his house is being surrounded by bad guys armed with shotguns. - Other car explodes into a huge fireball and is hurled into the air after colliding with hero's car. - Hero tells crying wife that she's better off not delving into all the tribulations of film plot. Wife is convinced and retires ... still crying. - Hero has a very loud discussion with otherwise very loyal thug friend ending in friend turning out to be turncoat and of course dying in agony! I could go on and on. Dreadful!

The story is incredibly disconnected! You simply can't maintain focus, because there isn't a story-line to stay focused on. The movie just seems to change course again and again. Where is it going? I don't know! When the credits rolled across the screen, I just wondered what the writers were thinking when they crafted this script not even worthy of being printed on toilet paper.

And the plot is every bit as ludicrous. Three or four times during the movie I just couldn't help saying: "Oh come on, you gotta be kidding, man!". One example is when the daughter gets shot in the head by the most unrealistic combination of gestures in film history.

Oh, and of course there is the obligatory "shaky-cam" to make it appear more ... something. I have never grasped that hand held bull****. Doesn't matter what film, doesn't matter in what context - it's just f******g annoying regardless of when or why. Stop it! Either put that s*** on a pod or use Steadicam, for f***'s sake!

Did I mention the most underwhelming bad guy in film history? Yeah, that Russian fella. Goodness me, I couldn't be scared of him even if I was paid to be!!

Dogshite from start to finish! Please don't watch this!

Gilbert Gottfried: Dirty Jokes (2005 Video)

The funniest stand-up show I have ever seen!! I nearly shatted myself!!

[10/10 · 13 November 2013]

I don't think I have ever spent another 50 minutes laughing so hard as I did over this show. The reason for this is not so much the dirty jokes themselves. In fact, I knew half of them already. However, that matters very little. What makes this absolutely hysterically funny is Gilbert's skills as a stand-up comedian. After having watched this show three times, I have no hesitation dubbing Gottfried the best stand-up comedian alive. His timing, delivery and ability to win over the audience is rivaled by none, and he proves it with the 10 minute version of The Aristocrats. If I laughed hard for the first 40 minutes, I nearly died from lack of air when I heard Gottfried's version of The Aristocrats. This man is simply born to do this famous anti-joke, and his impersonations of Cosby, Seinfeld and King is just the icing of the cake. Gilbert, you are the best stand-up comedian today! I salute you!

Precious (II) (2009)

Nope, it just got ridiculous - very quickly

[5/10 · 29 August 2011]

I regard myself as a pretty sensitive person. I was deeply moved by films such as Schindler's List, Click, I Am Sam and Kramer vs Kramer. I have no problem getting emotional about films if they are powerful enough. I don't even have a problem shedding tears if the film gets to me sufficiently. However, Precious didn't to this to me at all. In fact, it was exactly what I feared: ridiculously cruel to the protagonist for an hour and 45.

I don't know what the book is like, because I haven't read it and I'm not going to after seeing this film, but it really does seem like the typical ultra-traumatic piece of literature. "Let's take every imaginable misfortune and PILE it on top of this hapless girl. Let's see, what have we ... Oh yeah, let's ... - Make her extremely obese - Have her father sexually abuse her - Have her mother be a total slut - Have her mother beat her and throw stuff at her constantly - Make her school mates bully her - Have her come from a broken home - Have the street punks hit her and push her down onto the pavement - Force her to eat deep fried junk food every single day - Make her moneyless - Make her first child handicapped - Make her pregnant with a second child which will get her kicked out of school ... Oh yeah, and the icing on the cake: let's give her AIDS!

It just got SO ridiculous in a hurry. No person alive has ever been so unfortunate and after 15 minutes, I was just completely unmoved by it. And sure enough, it turns out that the book took the misfortunes of several people and combined them into one, but many people insists on seeing this as "the truth" for a lot of black women in Harlem - please!

And Sidibe ... honestly, I must agree with Howard Stern about this: she is NOT a fabulous actress at all. 95% of the time, she just sits there without batting an eyebrow and she's so obese she can barely speak properly. Making out the syllables exiting her mouth is more or less impossible and I was not impressed at all with this girl. I'm not saying she is horrible but a nominee for best actress? Come on! Her extreme obesity was the only reason she was nominated for anything.

I'm glad it was Mo'Nique who got the Oscar. She is really, really good and one of very few reasons why this film gets 5 instead of 3 from me. Her and Paula Patton, who is always very charismatic.

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Absolute dogshit!

[3/10 · 21 October 2010]

I love what Tarantino did in the 90s. I'm as big a fan of Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. However, I didn't really know what to expect with this one. After half an hour, I knew this would be a huge disappointment, and after an hour, I kept feeling the temptation to simply stop watching the film then and there.

Quention Tarantino has completely lost the magic that gave the breakfast scene in Reservoir Dogs its magic. It seemed incomprehensible at that time to see a bunch of gangsters around a breakfast table discussion Madonna, 70s music and whether to tip or not, but Tarantino pulled it off with brilliant dialogue and brilliant actors.

This magic has been fading away for his past three films and is completely gone now. Tarantino can no longer create such scenes, and this film just reeks of his futile attempts to do just that. Again and again! The scenes are DREADFULLY long and the dialogue is downright boring.

The acting is fabulous and the cinematography is still very good. The actors speak absolutely fluent French and German, and I love that all the people in the film speak their own language and not English. That's what I give the 3 stars for. The rest of the film gets a solid 0.

Mr. Tarantino, you're over the hill and your last three films have sucked increasingly. I have no doubt your die hard fans will still be there for you, but I won't be giving any more of your films a chance.

A complete turd of a film.