Change Your Image
Slaphammer1
Reviews
Mom and Dad Save the World (1992)
Fell asleep in the theater....
My wife and I went to see this when it first hit theaters. I'm not sure why, but it was probably because I still had a high opinion of Jon Lovitz at the time--I think this was during his heyday on Saturday Night Live when his liar character Tommy Flanagan, the "acting!" guy, and other such skits were at the height of their popularity.
To be honest, I can't really comment much on this film. The reason for that is that both my wife and I fell asleep during it, right in the middle of the theater! That's unheard of for us. It stands out as one of the most miserable theater-going experiences I've ever had. I was shocked to see all the positive reviews of this film here on imdb, so I felt I had to offer an opposing view even though I can't really talk specifics about the film since it put me into a coma.
Pootie Tang (2001)
Sa Da Tay!
I just caught this movie on cable last night. I was expecting it to be horrible, but found myself laughing quite a bit! There ARE some really stupid parts and jokes that just fall flat (the whole "Dirty D" thing was just bad), but there was plenty here that made me laugh. Something about Pootie's nonsense talk just makes me laugh every time he opens his mouth. Not the best comedy ever, but not too shabby!
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Only thing worse is Burton's explanation
My first viewing of this film was on DVD...after not understanding the ending, I decided to watch the final chapter a second time, but this time with Tim Burton's commentary track turned on. This must be heard to be believed! He goes on for the whole chapter and also half the final credits trying to defend the ending, but he is stammering and interrupting himself and making no sense at all. It seems he rarely finishes a sentence during this explanation and for all the noise he makes, he doesn't say a single thing. His basic message is apparantly, "This ending does not make any sense, I only put it in because I thought it was a neat visual," but it takes him forever to say that because he's trying to validate it at the same time even though he himself has no explanation. Wow...I don't know how the rest of the commentary track goes, but the commentary in the final chapter is the worst commentary I've ever heard on a DVD. I felt embarrassed for Burton just listening to it.
Pleasantville (1998)
Moral corruption glorified
I get angry every time I see this film because the overall message seems to be that loose morals (fornication, adultery, etc.) are the right way to live and we're to believe that the old-fashioned town is made much better by getting all the teenagers into the back seats of cars and the wives into the arms of men other than their husbands. I'm not a prude and the film is entertaining enough, but I find the underlying message quite questionable.
Clash of the Titans (1981)
This movie is cool!
Yes, this movie has dated effects and plenty of bad acting. I can't defend that. However, it is still a really fun movie! This movie fascinated me when I was really young, and I still get a kick out of it. There is a heck of a lot of adventure crammed into this film: the three witches, the ferryman, the multi-headed dog, Medusa, Calibos and his swamp kingdom (including the giant vulture), Pegasus, giant scorpions, the Kraken, a mechanical owl, the meddling of gods in the affairs of humans...whew! I'm sure I've forgotten some things, but just look at that list! Plus the score really enhances the feel--I can hear the "flight of Pegasus" (my name, not the official one) music in my head as I write this. This movie is pure fun and if you turn a critical eye upon it and start bemoaning the claymation effects and whatnot, you're really missing the point. This film is a grand adventure!
Shao Lin wu zu (1974)
Great movie!
Back in the mid-1980s, when was around 10-14 years old, there was a show on one of the basic cable channels called either Black Belt Theatre or Kung Fu Theatre...I can't remember which (whenever they came back from commercial, they would quote from Confucious before resuming the film). They played lots and lots of Shaw Brothers films from the 1970s, among other martial arts films. I remember trying to tune in every Sunday afternoon to get my fix of kung fu action.
Anyway, these days I barely remember anything about the movies I saw in those days...I remember a scene here and there, but nothing major. One movie, though, burned itself into my brain and I've never been able to forget it -- that film was Five Masters of Death (aka Five Shaolin Masters). About six months ago, after not having seen this movie for well over a decade, I decided to see if it was still as great as I remembered so I hopped on the internet and found a place where I could buy it on VHS.
This movie is still excellent. My VHS copy is of understandably poor quality, but the film is still a joy to watch. Each of the five protagonists specializes in a different style of fighting, as do the opposing five antagonists, so the film is chock full of great kung fu. I also find the story to be more engaging and epic in feel than most martial arts movies I've seen (however, I am far from being an authority on the genre). The theme music which plays repeatedly throughout is great...it helps give the film its epic feel and is very catchy--I find myself singing it in my head for days after watching this movie.
At any rate, I love this movie. I wish there was still something like Black Belt Theatre (or Kung Fu Theatre) on cable so I could catch some more of the Shaw Brothers era of kung fu film. Martial arts films of today use undercranking and especially wirework far too much--I find myself more impressed by films like Five Masters of Death which rely on "natural" skills.
Citizen Kane (1941)
Bored me to tears
At long last, I finally saw this film. It's dull. We had to take a break in the middle because it was putting us to sleep, and when we returned to it later in the day, I was in danger of slipping into a coma. Yes, there is a lot of skill exhibited in terms of directing, but the story itself is not engaging at all. I'm still reeling from the shock at how lifeless and boring it is, what with the stellar reputation this film enjoys.
Rodney Dangerfield's 75th Birthday Toast (1997)
Not very good
Disclaimer: It's been a few years since I've seen this so the following comments come from a fuzzy memory, but I thought I'd contribute what I can since nobody has yet commented on this.
This roast was filmed in Aspen, Colorado, and essentially involves about four comedians (and, I assume, personal friends of Rodney) poking fun at Rodney. There are also some pre-filmed "backstage" sketches involving Rodney, and there's at least one point where Rodney talks to the audience directly for an extended period of time.
This roast was not funny at all. The roasters don't seem like they understand the concept of a roast. Bob Saget (Full House, America's Funniest Home Videos) seems to use the show as a venue for him to spout profanity as often as possible, as if he's trying to shed his "family guy" image from the two shows that made him famous. Sandra Bernhard appears to be completely unprepared, as if she's just winging her dialog--she is not funny at all, but I'd argue that this is true for any of her appearances. -grin- The only redeeming roaster is Paul Rodriguez (I think that's his name?)...he was hilarious as he zinged Rodney over and over. He made the show worth watching, but otherwise the roast part was quite painful.
After the roast, Rodney comes on stage by himself and talks at length to the crowd. It is mostly a standup routine, and fans of Rodney will recognize some classic lines, but there are a few points where he seems to get serious and really talk with his fans about his long career. There's plenty of funny stuff here too, if you manage to make it past the horrible roast portion.
The Quest (1996)
Surprisingly good
This film is a lot better than I expected, and much better than the other imdb comments would imply. You can essentially split this movie in half, with the first half being an adventure movie and the second half being a fight competition. I actually liked the adventure portion a lot more than the fight competition, which is surprising since I like stuff like Bloodsport (the fight part of The Quest is essentially a higher-budget version of Bloodsport). At any rate, this movie is great visually -- it's filmed in a lot of exotic locations. I also thought the direction was great...there were some interesting shots that really impressed me for Van Damme's first directorial effort. The story kinda moves along too quickly and there are a couple parts where this strains the believability of the story (such as how easy it is for Van Damme to get the fight invitation/map from the boxer), but these are easily overlooked and don't really detract much.
I went into this expecting it to be low-budget and fairly dumb, but I was surprised at the lavish production and the fact that it has an actual story which I find more interesting than the fighting.
Darby O'Gill and the Little People (1959)
Incredible movie!
I remember seeing this movie when I was very young (I'm 28 as of this writing, so this movie was already fairly old when I came into the world) and really liking it. The terror induced by the Banshee stuck with me for most of my life. I recently saw this again for the first time in almost 2 decades, and it's still an amazing movie.
I'm happy to report that the Banshee doesn't quite give me the willies like it used to, but it's still scary -- you'll never see anything like this in a "family movie" today. The scene where Darby opens the door and the Banshee is there waiting for him is really frightening. The Death Coach is also really creepy.
Anyway, leaving the scary moments behind, this movie has a fascinating representation of Leprechauns. The special effects are amazing too -- I find myself completely convinced that there are little people standing amongst tall people, like when Darby is playing the violin while leprechauns dance all around him, or when Darby and King Brian are playing their drinking game, or when King Brian climbs onto the headboard of the bed to influence Katie's dreams. It's absolutely seamless in most places, which is more than you can say for most of today's computer-generated wizardry.
Although I get the impression this is one of the lesser known Disney titles, it ranks as one of my favorites. A lot of Disney movies that I loved as a child have lost some of their charm as I've aged, but Darby O'Gill and the Little People is still a magical film.
Dark City (1998)
I don't get it
I really wanted to like this movie, but I just didn't. I'm a sci-fi fan, and I've heard all the praise this movie gets, from friends as well as critics. Seemed like a no-brainer to me. So I rented it. It took me three tries to get through the whole film without falling asleep. Because of that, my memory of it is a bit disjointed.
The first thing that jumped out at me was Keifer Sutherland's really bad accent in this film. He sounds like the archetypical mad scientist's lab assistant...a character you'd see on a Saturday morning cartoon, almost. Nobody else I've talked to seems to notice this though, which surprises me because it seems so blatant. I can remember a time (the days of Young Guns and The Lost Boys) when I thought Keifer was the best thing since sliced bread, but it's been a while since he's impressed me.
The pacing of the movie just seemed slow to me, for some reason. There were scenes I knew I should really like (like the confrontation on the fire escape), but for some reason they just didn't move me. The bald white guys looked interesting, but before long they just didn't grab me that much.
The finale of the film is very foggy in my memory, as I was fighting sleep during the whole thing. I remember some big blue-green energy blasts, but that's about it. I do remember enough to know what the "big secret" of the movie is, though.
To be honest, I can't really put my finger on why this movie didn't work for me. When I think of any individual scene, it seems like something I'd like. I keep telling myself that if I could just watch it and stay wide awake the whole time, I'd understand why so many people love it. However, after trying 3 times to watch this and only barely succeeding on the 3rd attempt, I'm left with not much desire to give it another go.
And no, I'm not narcoleptic. :)
Cutthroat Island (1995)
Not as bad as critics claim
I rented Cutthroat Island recently because I haven't seen it since it was first released...I could barely remember anything about it, but I did seem to remember that I liked it. I know that it flopped critically and financially, so I was curious to see if I would still like it or not.
This movie is not as horrible as the critics make it out to be. In fact, it's a fine action movie. It looks absolutely gorgeous...the sets (especially the ships) are just great. I was surprised at the number of stunts that lead actors Geena Davis and Matthew Modine did themselves, such as when Davis falls out of a window, rolls, and lands on a moving carriage. There's another scene where Davis falls from a balcony onto a table, and the camera stays on her face the entire time.
The film is not without faults, though. Geena Davis fails to deliver her lines convincingly on several occasions. Also, there are a handful of embarrassingly bad one-liners sprinkled throughout the film, including the line spoken by Davis right before she vanquishes the bad guy once and for all (I'll leave the details of that scene as a surprise). Another has the villain standing in the middle of a large battle screaming, "I love this! I love this!" Such scenes are painful to watch.
The soundtrack for this movie is incredible...probably the best thing about the film. In fact, I was just at http://www.filmtracks.com and noticed that it is one of their top-ten sellers.
At any rate, this is a fun action movie...a great one to show the kids. It doesn't have any pretentions of being anything more than a Hollywood pirate movie--in fact, it seems to revel in its "Hollywoodness", which I think is why it was misinterpreted by so many critics.
Spaceballs (1987)
Not the best Brooks film
I'm a big fan of Mel Brooks. The three films Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, and History of the World Part 1 are all classics in my book. Sadly, Spaceballs is not. I remember liking it when I saw it in the theatre years ago, but after watching the DVD recently, I'm disappointed.
The humor in Spaceballs seems even more juvenile than usual for Brooks, and a lot of it just isn't funny. I also think this movie is hurt by the fact that it looks very low-budget. For instance, the wedding scene near the beginning looks like it was filmed at the local Holiday Inn ballroom.
Another strike against this movie is the cast -- none of these actors delivers the Brooks style as well as people like Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn, and so forth. John Candy and Rick Moranis might be the only two exceptions here...at least, they're better than Bill Pullman and the woman who plays the Princess. Mel Brooks himself isn't as funny in his acting parts as he has been in previous roles.
While I did laugh while watching this movie, it was few and far between. I'm afraid that I'm part of the group who thinks Brooks' sense of humor is no longer what it used to be....
History of the World: Part I (1981)
Both better and worse than expected....
I recently acquired the DVD version of History of the World Part 1. While I saw this movie many times as a kid and loved it, I hadn't seen it in quite a while and was looking forward to seeing the "real" version without all the censoring for TV play (I've only seen this on TV, although I can't say for certain whether I ever saw it on a movie channel where it wasn't censored). After watching the DVD, it turns out that some parts of the film are even funnier than I remembered, while others didn't make me laugh as much as they used to.
I found that the first half of the movie was by far the most funny...all the way through the Roman Empire segment (which is probably the longest segment in the film). Even though I knew most of the jokes that were coming up, they made me laugh anyway, and there were several jokes that I had either forgotten or which had been cut out/mangled by TV censors so I hadn't seen them. Although I knew I liked this movie, I found myself surprised at how hilarious it was.
Then came the Spanish Inquisition sequence. I remember not really liking this scene as a kid, but then I've never been into musicals. This time around, I liked it a lot better...I don't have a negative impression of it anymore. Still, it's not quite as funny as the earlier parts of the film.
The last bit of the movie is the French Revolution -- I remembered lots of funny stuff in this segment from when I watched this movie long ago. However, this segment is where the movie was a bit disappointing...a lot of the jokes which I used to find hilarious (such as skeet-shooting with peasants) just didn't click with me like I expected them to. Also, I found that the number of gags in this segment was significantly reduced from previous parts. I have fond memories of the French Revolution segment, so I'm a bit puzzled as to why it didn't do much for me now. Maybe I just remembered TOO MUCH from this segment so there were very few surprises?
But as a whole, I definitely think this ranks as one of Mel Brooks' best films. I count it as part of the "holy trinity" along with Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles. Others have said that this is one of Brooks' raunchiest films, and I definitely agree. There are quite a few sexual gags in this, and several uses of the "F" word (I don't remember that word being used at all in Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles, but maybe I've just forgotten...). Highly recommended!
Yellowbeard (1983)
Great movie with tempered Monty Python humor
I'm not a huge fan of Monty Python. Some parts of their show were funny, others were not. The same goes for Monty Python and the Holy Grail. However, I think Yellowbeard is great. I'm not sure what it is, but the Python humor seems a bit controlled by the addition of other elements such as several actors normally associated with Mel Brooks (Madeline Kahn, Peter Boyle, Marty Feldman). Also, this film seems to have higher production values than typical Python fare, which is always a plus.
The low point in this movie for me are the scenes featuring Cheech and Chong--they have some funny moments, but overall they just aren't as interesting as the rest of the movie. Their scenes sometimes slip into utter ridiculousness, like when all the monks decide to fake their deaths in a "bad actor" style. Ugh....
Anyway, this is a high-flying pirate adventure with lots of hilarious one-liners. Just about everyone is great in this movie (especially Graham Chapman), although the guy who plays Yellowbeard's son does start to annoy me after a while. It's too bad that this movie was so overlooked...I would think it would be huge with both the Monty Python types and also the Mel Brooks types.