martinr Reviews

Ghost Ship (2002)

"Event Horizon" at sea

[8/10 · 14 April 2003]

This movie is basically a remake of Event Horizon at sea. Many of the plot points and shots seem to be inspired by that film. That said, I really liked Ghost Ship (I loved Event Horizon also).

The beginning is truly classic and the ending is great as well. Sure, the characters are somewhat generic, but there are some interesting layers to the plot if you go back and watch it a second time. The sets and special effects are way better than most horror films have received in the past.

I for one think it's great to see fairly high quality mainstream horror that has come out over the last few years. These films have decent budgets, nice special effects, casts that can actually act, and well thought out writing.

I really don't think it's fair to give them such a bad rap. At least we're seeing some real effort being put into the horror genre these days, whereas guys like Wes Craven sold the genre out long ago with the spoon-fed crap they put out every year or two.

8/10

The Affair of the Necklace (2001)

Oscar-bait that misses the mark

[3/10 · 23 September 2002]

Here we have a failed attempt at securing a shoe-in for an Oscar. For whatever reason, people are fascinated by these period pieces with their stuffy characters and boring plot-lines. In this one, we have a rich girl whose "birth-right" (lots of money and the ability to have servants) were taken away from her by the French royalty. Somehow, we're supposed to feel sorry for her and enjoy watch her connive her way to getting all her money back. That's bad enough, but the acting is even worse. For whatever reason, the director decided everyone (including the American actors) should have British accents, even though all the characters are French and the film takes place in pre-revolution France! I think the French would be more than a bit offended and frankly I am too. Americans are not so dumb that we think any European has a British accent! Anyways, this film, while beautifully shot, is a complete waste of time. That's why it's average rating is a 6.0.

Minority Report (2002)

No more Spielberg for me

[2/10 · 28 June 2002]

How annoying -

First - I pay admission to a movie. Then I have to watch 10 minutes of commercials. Then I have to watch 15 minutes of movie commercials (previews). Why, then, should I be forced to watch 15-20 advertisements within the body of the film itself? Lets see, I'll name off the top of my head the companies whose logos were prominently featured in this film: The Gap, Burger King, USA Today, Newsweek, HydroGrow, Remo, Lexus, Bvlgaria, etc. etc. etc. There were many more that I can't even remember. It's pretty sad when a movie can contain more product placements than a Bond film, but this one sure does. It's a sign that Spielberg has respect for only one thing - his wallet. If I am going to be forced to watch this many advertisements during the movie I should get in for free.

Secondly - we don't need Biggie-Size fries, we don't need Biggie-Size cokes, and we don't need Biggie-Size films either. Why do all film-makers these days insist on making 3 hour long movies? There was enough story in this film to fit nicely into a 1 hour TV show. There is no excuse for stretching it into 3 hours. I can only suppose that these film-makers think that we want nothing more than to be exposed to their genius (and their sponsors' advertisements) for as much time as possible. Sorry, I'll take a 90 minute film with a concise plot any day over 3 hours of chase scenes and explosions.

Third - apparently Spielberg liked filling Kubrick's shoes in AI. He's now trying to continue the trend by adding numerous avant-garde touches to this film. Sorry, they all feel phony and contrived. Stick with your own style Spielberg.

I will say that visually the film is quite stunning. Too bad it has no soul...

Queen of the Damned (2002)

Decent Vampire Flick

[7/10 · 25 February 2002]

Let me first say, I am not an Anne Rice fan. I saw Interview with the Vampire and, well, hated it. Having read a bunch of the negative reviews about this movie I expected it to be terrible, but I went with some friends anyways. After seeing the film, I actually kind of enjoyed it. It was much better than watching a bunch of Fabio vampires prance around in frilly costumes and whine about having to kill people (Interview). My wife, who enjoys Anne Rice's work, also really enjoyed this one. If you're expecting high society dressed in Victorian costumes, you will not enjoy this movie. But if you liked the gothic atmosphere created in The Crow, you may enjoy this one as well. 7/10.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

A total waste of time

[2/10 · 4 February 2002]

When I first saw the preview for O Brother Where Art Thou, I said to myself "That film looks terrible." I am a big Coen brothers fan - The Big Lebowski is among my favorite films and Fargo is a masterpiece. However, something told me to just stay away from O Brother Where Art Thou. After many months of convincing from friends that it was a great movie, I picked it up.

What a waste of time. The preview completely captures the essence of the movie. It is a boring script that is made worse by pitiful acting performances, especially by George Clooney in the lead role. Remember Keanu Reeves in Dracula? That's the level of quality we're talking about here. Clooney could stay in his pseudo southern accent for no more than 2 or 3 seconds before he relapsed back to Batman or that guy on ER or any of the other terrible performances he has given in the past. It was just pitiful to watch.

To me, the Coens have always made movies that make you laugh because of the intelligent humor in them. In O Brother, they apparently went for slapstick and failed miserably. If I wanted slapstick, I would watch Chris Farley and see it done much better. I hope this film is not a sign of things to come.

Killing Time (2002)

Definitely kills your time

[1/10 · 22 January 2002]

Saw this at Sundance 2002. I'm a bit puzzled how it even got picked for the festival considering how bad it is. It's about this guy with a really, really bad haircut who shuffles through Manhattan on his way to a job interview. Or something. Along the way, he meets a bunch of really annoying people who endlessly spout their contrived philosophies. Imagine taking a camera and filming a really boring person's really boring day. Then imagine having to sit in a theater for 90 minutes and watch it. That's this film.

Gizmo! (1977)

A comedic look into the world of invention

[9/10 · 8 January 2002]

Gizmo is a tribute to humankind's pursuit of progress and the inventive spirit. "Invention" in this film is a pretty loose term - you see strange contraptions, and you also see people doing amazing (and odd) things with their bodies. Most of the footage is in black and white and looks like it was gathered from old newsreels. Unforgettable sequences include flying machines complete with flapping wings, "human flies" climbing skyscrapers without ropes, a whiskey distillery that ages whiskey "100 million times faster than nature", and the topper is a woman who has rediscovered what she calls the "ancient greek cosmic laws of flight". This film is pure magic - I have watched it countless times and I laugh just thinking about some of the scenes. So many of the people in this film should have tried their inventions out before calling the newspaper out to film them. Some of the failures are just spectacular! Also definitely worth mentioning is the soundtrack which is fantastic. Almost every segment of the film is accompanied by a great song which helps to set the mood and really adds to its replay value. If you come across a copy of Gizmo, definitely check it out - adults and children will both really enjoy it.

Thunderbirds (1965–1966)

5...4...3...2..1..Thunderbirds Are GO!!!

[17 December 2001]

This is a fun series of action shows filmed in "SuperMarionation". What this means is that all of the characters, vehicles, and buildings are models and puppets. Sounds like it's for children, but there is plenty of 60's kitsch here for the adults too. The basis of the story is that there is a secret rescue team that comes to the save the day whenever the local authorities cannot handle the situation. The animation is just incredible - these people were true masters of modeling and puppetry. The pyrotechnics are usually quite eye-popping as well. Fun shows to watch with a very 60's flavor to them. Show them to the kids or break them out at your next party to give everyone a good laugh.

The Keep (1983)

Unique and atmospheric

[9/10 · 10 December 2001]

After reading a lot of the comments from people, it seems that for the most part, people who have read the book hate the film. I have also both read the book and seen the film, and I've got to say that I think people are being pretty harsh. There are several differences that I find between the two versions. First, the book contains far more detail and character development than the movie. Second, the film chooses to present many of the gothic elements of the book in a more sci-fi look. Third, there are some plot differences, including the ending.

All of these differences are fairly standard when comparing a film to a book. The plot is always compressed, and the presentation is often different. You just can't take a book and tell the story with the same depth of meaning in a 90 minute film. I do agree that the film could have been a bit more true to the book in parts, but these are the things you have to accept when a story is translated from one medium to another.

Overall, this is a beautiful, extremely atmospheric film. I first saw it like 15 years ago and I have never forgotten it. It really stays with you because the beautiful camerawork combined with the haunting soundtrack and the fantastic sets provide a truly unique experience unlike any other horror movie. Give the film a try, and then read the book. They are both excellent in their own right.

Braindead (1992)

One of the greatest horror films ever made

[10/10 · 4 December 2001]

Yes, you read the genre description right - Horror, Comedy, Romance. I know that makes no sense. But this movie ties the three themes together superbly. It is all at once the most gory movie I have ever seen, one of the funniest movies I have seen, and one of the most enchantingly romantic movies I have ever seen. Only Peter Jackson could have melded these three genres together so successfully. The actors are all just fantastic - you really root for poor Lionel and Paquita, and even old Uncle Les to triumph against the forces of evil. I should also mention that the sountrack is fantastic, always perfectly setting the mood for the scene it accompanies. If you like Evil Dead 2, make sure to see this one - it goes beyond the dual genre whammy of ED2 and adds in a really compelling romance plot as well. Then once you have become a Peter Jackson fan, go and see Bad Taste, the film that started it all!

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

May The Farce Be With You

[2/10 · 27 November 2001]

Wow I never imagined that Star Wars could sink to these lows. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The plot is extremely boring - who cares about a trade federation? The acting and writing are ridiculous - Natalie Portman and Jake Lloyd are especially weak. Overall, the whole movie just feels like it was created by a marketing team. I could literally picture the shrinkwrapped toy sets and video games that each scene was laying the foundation for. I won't even talk about Jar Jar Binks. With this pathetic attempt, Lucas manages to cheapen the entire Star Wars series. What a shame.

Shock Waves (1977)

Don't believe the miserable IMDB rating!!!

[8/10 · 8 November 2001]

Shock waves is a very creepy film - the kind that gives you chills when you think about certain scenes. As many others have said, the zombies in this movie are quite frightening. They seem to be more stoically determined then your usual stupid but persistent zombies. The film has a wonderful atmosphere that you will not soon forget. I am very upset to see that the film's IMDB rating as of this writing is a pitiful 4.8 stars. The arithmetic mean of the votes is a 6.8, so IMDB's "weighting" is knocking the film down 2 whole points! Read the other comments, see the film, and ignore the lousy rating that this film most assuredly does not deserve.

Spy Kids (2001)

Another completely predictable film...

[3/10 · 5 November 2001]

Like most films these days, there is nothing to this one except special effects. There is nothing to be learned or gained from watching this movie - just strap yourself in for the "wild ride" the critics often promise you, turn your brain off, and prepare to be bored by a bunch of dumb computer-rendered gadgetry and your typical disney-esque cookie-cutter plot. What a boring way to spend an hour and a half.

Inferno (1980)

Surprisingly bad Argento

[3/10 · 5 November 2001]

I have thus far seen Suspiria, Phenomena, Deep Red, and Tenebre. I have enjoyed all of them, especially Suspiria which to me is a perfect 10/10. However, this film exhibited all of the weaknesses and none of the strengths I have seen in Argento's films. There is essentially no plot, and the characters actions make very little sense throughout the movie. The visuals, which are usually the strong point in Argento's films, are just plain cheesy in Inferno. Almost every scene is lit from one side by a bright blue light, and from the other by a bright red light. It looks like you're watching some cheap 80's television horror serial. The music is OK, but not on par with that in his other movies. In short, this movie is a real disappointment and not worth seeing.

3/10

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

Incredible!

[10/10 · 29 October 2001]

I saw this at The Old Town Music Hall in El Segundo, CA a few days before Halloween. Each year they present the film with a live musical accompaniment on their Wurlitzer theater organ. I have seen the Andrew Lloyd Weber musical version of the story a couple times, and always quite enjoyed it. However, I wasn't really expecting much from this film. I mainly went to hear the live organ performance. After seeing the film, however, I was totally blown away. Lon Chaney's performance as The Phantom was amazing, especially given that it is a silent film. He portrays the phantom's many shifting emotional states with amazing clarity. The music, of course, was stunning as well. I must say that I enjoyed this film far more than the musical, and I give it a perfect 10/10. If you are in the Southern California area, do yourself a favor and go see this film live next Halloween!

From Hell (2001)

Too dark

[4/10 · 22 October 2001]

It's not really entertaining to watch defenseless women brutally butchered over and over and over again for 2 hours. That's really about all there was to this movie. The plot was not compelling, and the characters, while very well acted, were pretty thin. I love a good horror movie, but this one just seemed to lack soul.

Deep Red (1975)

Visually beautiful (and grotesque) but unfocused plot-wise

[6/10 · 16 October 2001]

Great visuals - beautiful camera work, as well as very grotesque murder scenes. The music was also great. However, the plot meandered on through plenty of useless dialog and filler that distracted from the main plot. I felt that the film finished leaving many loose ends unresolved. The beginning and the ending are interesting to watch, but the middle of the film is somewhat boring and tedious. Worth seeing I would say, but Suspiria is far better in all departments.

Mulholland Drive (2001)

It does make sense

[10/10 · 15 October 2001]

For those who say that the movie does not make sense - it does, trust me. It makes perfect sense, but it takes a while to put all the pieces together. My wife and I were unraveling all the various bits and pieces for almost 2 hours after seeing it. Trust me, there are very few loose ends in this stunning film. If you like a good puzzle, see this film - and remember to leave plenty of time afterwards for discussion!

Dracula (1931)

Underwhelming

[5/10 · 15 October 2001]

After reading the book, I must say that I am quite underwhelmed by this film. The acting all around is some of the most wooden I have ever seen - the characters were utterly without any interest whatsoever. The storyline was simplified and distilled down to the point of being "Dracula for Dummies". The sets were very nice, and Bela Lugosi and the special effects for the movie were fun in a campy sort of way. However, the movie on the whole was just boring. It didn't have any of the intensity of the book. The 1992 version of Dracula is much better, although it has its own problems. If you want a good horror movie from the 30's, I would recommend The Old Dark House instead, which is great fun to watch.

Jeepers Creepers (2001)

Old School Horror

[8/10 · 17 September 2001]

Yeah, now this is what a horror movie is supposed to be! If you like classics like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Night of the Living Dead, and Halloween you'll like this one. It dispenses with the fluffy garbage that "horror" films of the 90's such as Scream popularized and goes back to basics. It proves that all you need is a couple of really dumb (and boy are they dumb in this movie) but strangely endearing main characters, a country back-road, and a force of evil to be reckoned with. It worked in the 70's and it still works today. This is a good date film - all of the couples were huddled closely together, seeking shelter from the relentless creepiness the movie had to offer. But there was no shelter to be had - this film really delivers the scares, and will leave you feeling, well, creeped out. See it!

The Fast and the Furious (2001)

Great racing scenes, dumb crime scenes

[6/10 · 6 August 2001]

Not a bad movie overall - some of the racing scenes, especially the first one, were truly awesome. If they had just stuck to the racing, it would have been a great movie. But they had to write in this really dumb crime plot involving hijacking of moving 18 wheeler trucks with little tiny Honda racecars. I mean, what truck driver wouldn't just run over these little cars and be done with it? Later on in the movie, motorcycles are hijacking moving cars at gunpoint. Who in a car wouldn't just run over the motorcycles? What reality do writers for movies like this live in? But all in all, the racing scenes are good enough that it's probably worth seeing the movie anyways, but just be prepared to laugh at these ridiculous, needlessly complex hijacking scenes.

Krull (1983)

Awesome, memorable fantasy/sci-fi

[9/10 · 15 May 2001]

Krull stands out as a classic because of the sheer creativity of the various elements in the story. It's one of the few films that I've seen that successfully blends fantasy and science fiction together. It's true that the basic plotline is just that - basic. But the peripherals are what makes this movie exciting - there are so many cool ideas in the film! The acting and casting are great, the music is fantastic, and the movie overall is just a blast to watch. The ending is a bit cheesy, but overall Krull really delivers.

A Knight's Tale (2001)

Are you a pre-teen?

[1/10 · 14 May 2001]

...if so, you might enjoy this film. The pre-teens in the theater I saw it in sure were having fun - giggling and clapping at all of the gimmicks this film had to offer. The rest of us were just bored. The film relied on unsuccessful gimmicks in an attempt to rescue a pitifully simple plot, wooden acting, and boring action scenes. Product placement in movies is always annoying, but the Nike symbols on the armor were just too much. About the only thing this film got right is the costumes, which were nice. To see what this movie was trying to be, try Gladiator or the 1996 version of Romeo and Juliet instead.

The Mummy Returns (2001)

Sacrifices quality for quantity, but not bad

[6/10 · 8 May 2001]

The plot of this sequel picks up where its predecessor left off, with most of the cast from the previous film intact. The plot itself is pretty interesting and well done, which is fairly unusual for a big sequel like this. Unfortunately, the film spends most of its time on overdone action sequences. When I say overdone, I'm talking about the fact that there is tons of CGI and martial arts style fighting, and everyone knows that you sacrifice quality for quantity. What we're left with is a bunch of endless scenes where no take is over 2 seconds long in order to disguise the poor quality CGI and fighting skills of the actors. It gives you a headache after a while. However, most of the CGI where they actually give you time to look at it is beautiful and quite creative (with the exception of the final action scene, which is pretty pitiful). Overall, the film is probably worth seeing if you like action films, but you'll walk out of the theater feeling like you've been beaten over the head with a club!

Possessed (1999)

Tired Concept, but Well Executed

[6/10 · 4 May 2001]

Summary pretty much says it all. This is yet another Satan's son is born to earth story, and yet another evil spirit transferring from one person to another story. It's been done time and time again, and I think it's about worn out. But the film is well executed and well acted. Definitely worth a look if you haven't seen other films with similar plots.