James-280 Reviews

We Are Klang (2009)

Is it so wrong to enjoy this?

[8/10 · 7 August 2009]

Halfway through the first episode I was questioning my own sanity about watching this nonsensical show, but the thing is I was enjoying it!

We are Klang are three comedians who have been "klanging" on radio and on stage before breaking into TV. I hadn't actually heard of them although I did recognise Greg from Mock the Week.

They are council workers in a fictional town. Greg is deputy mayor and a buffoon, Steve is health and safety and is verbally abrasive, and Marek is minister without a portfolio and is, well, just slightly odd that you don't know if you should be laughing at him or calling social services. There is also the audience ministry deliciously breaking the 4th wall as the camera pans to the audience clapping.

This is a surreal comedy and utter nonsense but it is so funny. The cast members know exactly what you are probably thinking and they pre-empt it themselves. Greg is constantly being ridiculed for either being a fat Rik Mayall, or (my personal favourite) a fat Giles from Buffy. In the first episode Greg says "You know what i've just realised?" and Steve jumps in with "That this is a poor imitation of The Goodies?"

The cast play other characters as and when they are needed but to be honest it is when they are all in the office together that it is at its best.

This won't be for everyone, it is very odd and childish in a grown up kind of way, but I would urge you to at least give it a go. I'm really glad I did

Hex (2004–2005)

Randall and Hop-Dyke (deceased)

[31 October 2004]

It is very hard to review a series after only 2 episodes, but I am getting the feeling that this really does have potential. Admitedly it is nice to see a British paranormal drama, but I think it is unfair that people are trying to compare it to American counterparts already. It isn't Buffy and it isn't Charmed (at least not yet).

The scene is set at a very nice Gothic-esque boarding school, our heroine (Cassie) finds an old vase which was used in voodoo rituals 400 years ago and gets visions, starts seeing ghosts, and finally meets up with a very dishy demon.

Well thats the synopsis, and it's hard to write anything else. It doesn't seem to know which direction it is going in, there don't appear to be cliffhangers at the end or when there are, they are so unbelievably understated that if you blink you realize you've actually missed it, the story is a little convoluted and has jumped enormous steps from the pilot to the 2nd episode.

The absolute highlight however is Thelma, the lesbian best friend of our heroine and ex room mate (well she got killed in the pilot and now comes back as a ghost - Anyone else think the Thelma name was just a little bit Scooby lesbian???) She is quick witted, sharp, and certainly has the potential to be the saving grace of this series. Her ability to go into other pupils dreams and act out her lesbian fantasies was the highlight of the second episode "Well whats a lesbian ghost to do" she explains coyly. How none of the other pupils have noticed packets of crisps and chocolates floating in mid air while she is snacking, at the moment seems to be overlooked.

The other characters have since been sidestepped since the pilot. Cassie remains a good lead although a little hard to empathise with strangely. Her crush (Troy) has the personality of a limp lettuce, his girlfriend seems not to care that suddenly he is spending time with Cassie who her clicky group of friends all hate. The "popular bitch" Roxanne who resembles Cleopatra on smack (in a good way), was featured heavily in the pilot showing how much of a cow she is, and had barely anything to do in the next episode. The demon Azazeal has yet to prove he can do anything except kill lesbians. Goodlooking though he may be, the director seems more content with continuous close ups of his blood veined eyes... Who he is and what he is going to do has yet to be established though if we don't find out soon, I doubt anyone will really care.

I know that this is new and to contradict myself lets look quickly at the pilots of Buffy and Charmed, each one did set the characters up, we knew about them, we had a rough idea where it was going, with Hex, it's hard to remember their names, let alone care who they are.

Saying all this, I still think it has potential, it is just a bit of a slow burner at the moment. I can't explain why it is appealing, but I am convinced that in a short time it will have a very large fan base.

Van Helsing (2004)

Rip roaring homage to classics

[8/10 · 7 May 2004]

This is a very "Stephen Sommers" film, were you not to know it is the same director as the Mummy you would guess it within 20 minutes. However it should be pointed out that this is not a bad thing at all. The movie is a rip roaring adventure with some wonderful camp humour and great special effects. The plot consists of Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) being part of a special order of the Vatican to kill all unhuman / evil creatures, so amazingly he is sent of to Transylvania where he is to kill Dracula, the sub plot being that Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale) is the last in the line of a family who's mission for centuries has been to kill Dracula themselves. If Anna dies before Dracula, being the last in the line will condemn the whole family to eternal damnation.

While the plot isn't the strongest in the world, it actually doesn't make any difference as the special effects and incredible pace of the film doesn't really give you much chance to contemplate any deeper meanings or plotlines.

The poster campaign has featured heavily on this film containing Dracula, Wolfman and Frankenstein's monster, though there are other wonderful classic characters which make the film an even bigger joy to watch for example Igor and Dr Jekyll with the former character becoming a wonderful stereotype of the hunchbacked laboratory assistant.

Strangely, the chemistry between Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale doesn't have the same spark or passion as Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz in the Mummy saga, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing, as the two characters are not the typical leading man and lady who will obviously fall in love, which again gives this film quite a refreshing edge.

David Wenham as Carl, a friar sent to look after Van Helsing gives the comedy edge with wonderful one liners and a constant cheeky glint in his eye.

The monsters themselves are a perfect homage to Hammer Horror / Boris Karloff films although I personally found Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) a little bit too camp and less evil although his character was certainly a more evil Dracula than has been seen recently. His 3 brides are possible the surprise highlight of the film turning from beautiful women to gargoyle-like creatures in a split second are a joy to watch in every sense of the word.

The wolfman metamorphosis is (as has been reported) an incredible piece of special effects, with the victim tearing off his skin to reveal fur and vice versa throughout the change. But the important thing here is the word victim! Stephen Sommers has kept very close to the original stories portraying the wolfman as a helpless victim "it's not his fault, he can't help it" and this is no truer than in the excellent portrayal of Frankensteins Monster (Shuler Hensley) who as written by Mary Shelley is not an evil creature out for destruction, but more a lost soul out simply to be able to exist.

My only complaint would be that some of the CGI effects take over. While Sommers has obviously learnt from the travesty that was the CGI Scorpion King, there are times when characters are swinging from walls and ropes that you feel you are watching an animation rather than a live film. However, because these effects are also extremely well done, it is more of a criticism on the viewer who has obviously been spoilt with such effects recently.

The pastiges of this film are truly a joy, with references to James Bond (in a highly enjoyable scene about selecting weapons), X-men, Matrix, Aliens, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Rocky Horror and countless other more obvious Horror classics.

Hugh Jackman (finally deserving his first lead role) is incredible and this role shows what a fantastic (and without doubt one of Hollywoods hunkiest) actors he is. This is truly his film and deservedly so, not that he ever wasn't in my eyes, but this film has now made him one of the industries hottest property!

This is an adventure of a film which all ages will enjoy and I highly recommend it, there isn't time to find fault as the pace will have you on the edge of your seat from start to finish.

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

Parts were disturbing

[25 April 2001]

I watched this for the first time two or three days ago, and although it isn't the best film in the world, parts of it were quite graphic.

The beginning is slow admittedly, but when the family are introduced it becomes a lot more interesting.

The scenes involving the heroine being nailed down to a chair watching her boyfriend being strung up are actually quite disturbing to watch.

The family itself is wonderfully dysfunctional, this is highlighted especially with the presence of leatherface's daughter. An angelic blonde haired 12 year old, who is innocently as sadistic as the rest.

While it's true this film isn't exactly Oscar worthy, if you spot it on TV, it's worth a watch.

The Music of Chance (1993)

Strangely enticing

[5/10 · 9 April 2000]

This film, although some would say doesn't actually go anywhere, is strangely watchable and quite enjoyable. The two leading men develop a brotherly bonding between them and are perfectly cast. Not the best film I have ever seen, but certainly one I could watch again.

JW