rowboat Reviews

Splendor (1999)

3 stars out of 20

[3/10 · 17 February 2002]

Um, this movie wasn't so good. It started out mediocre, before dropping into bad pretty quick. I think Kathleen Robertson was beautiful and played the role right. She was the highlight. She could've easily been over-dramatic and cheesy, but she wasn't. Kudos. She must've learned something from 90210. The story should've been more about the relationship and the struggle to make it work and more sociology, but throwing the pregnancy and that movie director guy into it were just huge, uncreative cop-outs in telling the story. The writer should be ashamed.

The Face Behind the Mask (1941)

I'm a mechanical genius!

[6/10 · 29 September 2001]

I can only figure that only Peter Lorre could star in a film, and for over half of it, have his back to the camera. As others have said, it's a nice noir-y film, but like a lot of those, it's hard to see it as more than just a sequence of events instead of a well-told story/film. Nonetheless, the acting and filmmaking all around is very well done.

The Stranger Beside Me (1995 TV Movie)

Riveting Crap

[4/10 · 22 May 2001]

After watching this movie on tv, I looked it up in the IMDB and imagine to my surprise a user rating of 7.6! This is not a good film. Especially bad is the editing; the poor way the story jumps from one point to another was amateurish and a huge distraction. It's not very fluently done. I do agree that the acting was fairly decent, especially Kelly Kapowski, and that the story was intriguing enough.

Love Stinks (1999)

So does this movie.

[3/10 · 28 February 2001]

This movie was terrible. I can think of two good reasons to see it though, and both belong to Bridgette Wilson. (One other might be Tyra Banks' bra-less wedding dress near the beginning.) Otherwise, this movie is not realistic. Then I started to think, "Oh it's not realistic, but that's okay because it's comedy" -- which is also failed reasoning because the movie is NOT funny. Suing your ex-boyfriend because he broke up with you? What's that about? Where's the logic? The revenge scenes were mildly amusing, I guess. The cast seems to be trying, but they fail, seeing as they're a bunch of hammy sitcom actors and supermodels. I've seen better plots and acting on "Beverly Hills 90210".

The Gift (2000)

Blah.

[22 January 2001]

Not a bad movie really. It's just not very enthralling. The creepiness was quite well done, especially Keanu Reeves and Giovanni Ribisi and even Katie Holmes. The acting was very strong, as was the direction. The film though just didn't grab me in anyway to make me interested, or feel like it was worth watching.

Finding Forrester (2000)

EXTREMELY formulaic.

[22 January 2001]

Wow. That was the most cliched, formulaic movie I've ever seen. Bad teacher at good school gives new kid from inner city hard time because he's an athlete and black and he proves everyone wrong and I'm not spoiling anything because you could see all these moments coming from a million miles away. It's too bad the premise of the reclusive author helping the talented kid couldn't have been told in a not so obvious fashion. Still, it's fairly enjoyable. I'm glad I saw it. It's an intelligent movie and Sean Connery is as always cool, the music was amazing, and the New York locale great. It is kind of odd watching a film (a visual medium) all about writing (non-visual).

Hollow Man (2000)

Total = 3 points.

[3/10 · 16 January 2001]

I give this movie 7 points for the effects, which are actually pretty cool and scary. I subtract 3 points because the movie claimed to be about what evils being invisible can incur when out in the world, but 95% of the film took place, not out in the world, but in that damned underground batcave. I subtract 1 point for all the insane babble movie science talk ("pseudo reversion vitamin-B69 quantum cohesion") and the silly computer screen shots of those balls bursting. I subtract 2 points because of the idiotic ending where Elisabeth Shue turns into Macgyver-ette. I add 2 points back because Elisabeth Shue is quite attractive. Total = 3 points.

The Truth About Cats & Dogs (1996)

Nitemare Hippy Girl

[6/10 · 4 January 2001]

The whole premise of this movie falls apart though because Janeane Garofalo here is nowhere near as unattractive as the story would have her be. I guess she is when compared to Uma Thurman, who really is quite stunning. That might explain it. Nonetheless, the film is harmless enough, relatively amusing, and a fairly decent romantic comedy (though far from one of the best).

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Dark Cloud rules

[6/10 · 2 January 2001]

This movie is quite gorgeous. My only fault is that some of the effects didn't seem to fit in to the story. Sure, they looked neat-o, but it seemed silly, the way they broke the laws of physics. It worked in "The Matrix" because that was showing a world that was a computer program, but here, there's no explanation, so it's tough to swallow. That said, it's extremely well done, with a nice heart, and some hot hot hot babes.

Island of Doomed Men (1940)

KEEP THAT MONKEY AWAY FROM ME!

[2 January 2001]

Peter Lorre is perfect in this role, a calm, controlling madman with a terrifying temper bubbling underneath. Flashes of his temper are the highlights of the movie. Whomever played his wife could've probably been out-acted by a beanbag, but she's pretty, so it's ok. The other main man was okay, and I was rooting for him like I was supposed to. I guess the underlying question is: Could an island of slavery actually exist? Just kidding. The movie is not that deep, or worthy of further thought. The underlying question actually is: What does Peter Lorre have against monkeys?

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

wow.

[4/10 · 10 July 2000]

I gave this a four. I couldn't go higher, for one reason.

The book is SO MUCH BETTER. The differences between the book and the film are plenty, but in every instance, the book does it better. The story is told better. You get a much much much much much better sense of the back-and-forth war between Ratchet and McMurphy. The Chief didn't even go with them on the boat! Ridiculous. Not a bad film, but basically I filled everything that was missing in with what I knew from the novel.

If you liked the story in the movie a lot, you'll love the book a hell of a lot more.

Johnny Bago (1993)

Johnny Bago Fan Club!

[31 May 2000]

I'm proud to join you three fine fellows in the Johnny Bago Fan Club.

That show was awesome! It was hilarious - just completely silly, from what I recall. I wish I had a Winnebago.

I second the motion for a Johnny Bago DVD collection!

Election (1999)

like my man, ken wilson, rock the vote!

[9/10 · 10 January 2000]

When I saw this in the theater, I don't think I got it fully. I thought it was funny and smart, but I wasn't sure it held up to all the raves. But I was compelled to rent it this weekend, and knowing the story already allowed for me to enjoy the visual subtleties and the warped dialogue. Oh, the warped dialogue is awesome! This is funny funny stuff. Slightly more realistic than "Rushmore", but every bit as good. The acting is excellent - Reese Witherspoon is the best young actress around today.

The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)

red right hand

[8/10 · 6 January 2000]

First, let me mention that I quite enjoyed this movie. The direction, the Italian locale, the plot twists, the acting, all of it. Matt Damon was amazing. But I mostly want to comment on the rest of the audience. People have been telling me that they have either not liked it, or heard it wasn't good. The audience I saw it with didn't seem to enjoy or understand it. They were laughing and tittering when they should have been aghast in shock! I've been trying to figure out some reasons for this and this is what I've come up with: 1. It's not a "pop" movie, which comes as a shock for those there to see Gwyneth Paltrow and Matt Damon. Damon plays an obsessed, homicidal loser! Despite the similarity in titles, this ain't no "Good Will Hunting". 2. Audiences nowadays just aren't used to Hitchcock-ian films. All the plot twists/surprises lost them, and they never found their way back. I admit, I had tough time hanging in there myself, and I love movies like this.

The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)

red right hand

[8/10 · 6 January 2000]

First, let me mention that I quite enjoyed this movie. The direction, the Italian locale, the plot twists, the acting, all of it. Matt Damon was amazing. But I mostly want to comment on the rest of the audience. People have been telling me that they have either not liked it, or heard it wasn't good. The audience I saw it with didn't seem to enjoy or understand it. They were laughing and tittering when they should have been aghast in shock! I've been trying to figure out some reasons for this and this is what I've come up with: 1. It's not a "pop" movie, which comes as a shock for those there to see Gwyneth Paltrow and Matt Damon. Damon plays an obsessed, homicidal loser! Despite the similarity in titles, this ain't no "Good Will Hunting". 2. Audiences nowadays just aren't used to Hitchcock-ian films. All the plot twists/surprises lost them, and they never found their way back. I admit, I had tough time hanging in there myself, and I love movies like this

Man on the Moon (1999)

F---ing With My Head (Mountain Dew Rock)

[6/10 · 30 December 1999]

I've always dug Andy Kaufman. I like when people screw with an audience like that. I enjoy Jim Carrey - his performance here, and on "The Truman Show" were excellent. Milos Forman has directed two of the finest films ever ("Amadeus" and "Cuckoo's Nest"). The two guys who wrote the screenplay also wrote "Ed Wood" and "Larry Flynt" bio movies, and I loved those. I'm a huge REM fan. They rock, especially live. Danny DeVito is always a cool character actor, and has become one of the most interesting movie producers today. I'm completely indifferent to Courteney Love, though somewhere along the way she became pretty. So why didn't I like this movie more?

Girl, Interrupted (1999)

Excellent and admirable

[8/10 · 28 December 1999]

I went to this movie for two reasons - a) I studied psych in college and b) Winona Ryder. I made a wise choice. While there will be inevitable comparisons made to "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest", that's not fair. "Cuckoo's Nest" is a character study of the inhabitants of a mental institution. "Girl, Interrupted" is more about inhabiting one, I think. Winona Ryder's lead character grows and changes, but generally stays in control. Angelina Jolie has another amazing role to play with. The only real flaws I felt were that the film could've used some more, er, uh, grit, but it's okay. Check out the director's other movie "Heavy" - I loved that one too.