(M)Rated Reviews

Lamborghini: The Man Behind the Legend (2022)

Entertaining but flawed, like Lamborghini

[6/10 · 18 December 2022]

I went into this thinking it was a documentary but I was pleasantly surprised to find it an entertaining (although sometimes a little melodramatic) retelling of the life of a visionary. Some iffy acting (and accents) from some of the cast but the scenery and vehicles made up for it. There was also plenty of car p*rn for Lamborghini fans although I'd have liked to have seen more from the 80s, especially the story behind the Countach but I guess that has been told many times. I also heard he used salvaged parts from WWII vehicles abandoned by the US military but that's either untrue or left out of this film.

Tenet (2020)

All action, no heart

[7/10 · 5 December 2020]

I've been waiting all year to see Tenet and I was lucky enough to see it in our IMAX theatre in Melbourne. The film was full of amazing action and lots of reverse footage trickery but I really felt like there was a lot of unnecessary complexity (and macguffin chasing!) which ended up just making the movie longer. Time paradoxes aside, the one big thing I think the movie was missing is heart. In the days since I saw it I've mulled this over, thinking of the parent/child emotional cores of both Inception and Interstellar and Tenet just comes up hollow. It might be worth a rewatch just for the Easter eggs but I doubt I will look back on this film in years to come with the same fondness as Nolan's others.

Okja (2017)

Overly preachy film that can't decide if it's for kids or adults

[6/10 · 30 August 2017]

While I enjoyed the quirky rural scenes of the film the sledgehammer- to-the-face "moral" story really brings this movie down. The over simplification of the story coupled with so many "funny" scenes and characters makes this feel like a children's film yet it is so full of unnecessary swearing you'd think the writers were paid by the number of f-bombs. Lastly, the entire movie is telling us that GMOs are bad (mmkay) yet Okja is special due to her being a GMO, make up your mind!

Zombie Movie (2005)

Great little film

[8/10 · 3 September 2006]

I happened to stumble across this short film via Valve's game distribution channel "Steam". I was a little curious after seeing the title and thought it was a game, but after viewing the summary page decided to give the short film a go. The story follows three New Zealand bogons trapped in a car in the middle of a swarm of zombies. They're not the brightest bunch and hilarity ensues. The acting was great with the three trapped bogons being stereotypes but also possessing individual characters. Of course as the film was made by some guys from Weta the zombie makeup and effects were top notch. The general theme of the film is one of light comedy but seeing as the guys are in quite a predicament you could easily class this as a black comedy. if you like zombie movies then check this out. I hope this means they can make a full length feature film now.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

Sad endings are passe

[7/10 · 26 May 2004]

The Day After Tomorrow is what you'd expect from this director, big expensive shots, big expensive CG and lots of characters. It's not as bad as ID4 due to the fact that there are no "heroes saving the world", just people not dying. It's very preachy and can at times make you wince (did I mention the down-and-out black NY street bum teaching the silver-spoon-in-mouthed white rich kid how to insulate himself with paper?).

The CG is almost flawless and I think that's what people really see these movies for, 2 hours of boom, crash, snap, crackle and pop.

We need a break from depressing films like 21 Grams and House of Sand and Fog every now and again and it's good to see a movie without $30M USD per movie A-List actors.

Torque (2004)

Best comedy of the year!

[3/10 · 19 January 2004]

I watched this "film" at a preview screening last night and came out with the biggest grin on my face. I haven't laughed this hard since Battlefield Earth. Seriously, do all female bike riders A) look like models, B) are highly skilled martial artists and C) call each other "bitch" all day long, or is it just the ones that run their own bike shop? Seems motorbike riders can also disobey the laws of physics when it suits them like nullifying inertia... oh, and if you ride a bike you love and hate other bike riders plus can beat the living daylights out of multiple car drivers.

Anyway, if you want to a good laugh go and see Torque. If you want a "serious" film like Fast and Furious then don't.

Cracker Bag (2003)

The wonder years

[9/10 · 27 October 2003]

I was treated to a viewing of Cracker Bag last night before a preview screening of Disney's Holes. I don't know who decided to show it but I'm so very glad they did. Cracker Bag is an absolute gem, a snapshot of Australia in the early 80s as seen through a child's eye. The "conversations" between Eddie and her brother were hilarious and, as with the rest of the film, so true to life. Each shot brought a great sense of nostalgia as it reminded me of my own childhood (being the same age as the director probably helps a little) and the audio multiplied the feeling. I only hope I get to see Cracker Bag again some day.

All the Way (2003)

Blues Eyes vs Bob

[7/10 · 11 August 2003]

A surprisingly entertaining comedy about a young Aussie promoter (Joel Edgerton) who manages to convince Frank Sinatra and his crew to visit Australia for a few shows. All goes well until Frank Sinatra (Dennis Hopper) runs into a TV reporter (played by Ally McBeal's Portia de Rossi) who claims he spat on her at the airport. Frank won't apologise so in steps the ACTU led by a hilariously boof-headed Bob Hawke (wonderfully played by David Field of Two Hands fame) to bring Ol' Blue Eyes' tour to a stand-still, no room service, no phone, no water!

The story follows the usual Hollywood style of story telling with the end of "act 2" being a big downer (everything just goes wrong) and of course it all comes good in the end. The acting is quite good across the board with cheeky Aussie comedy sitting alongside moving drama effortlessly.

Frank Sinatra's music plays a big part in the film so if you're a fan you'll love the film, of course on the other hand if you can't stand his music then this may not be the film for you. The film makers did think to throw in a bit of 70s rock (think Led Zeppelin) and even an Elvis track to add a bit of variety to the mix.

The only time in cringed during the whole film was when Frank's US-based secretary pronounced Australia with a fake American accent and put an "R" on the end, a common mistake made by Australian actors.

3.5/5

See it if:

• you like Frank Sinatra

• you'd like to visit Australia in the 1970s

• you want to see a hilarious portrayal of a young Bob Hawke (Hazel Hawke included)

• you like Rose Byrne (for the guys) or Joel Edgerton (for the girls)

• you like knuckle busting fist fights

• you don't think Melanie Griffith's top lip isn't too big

Don't see it if:

• you don't like Frank Sinatra

• you can't stand the thought of Sydney in 1974

• you think Bob Hawke was the best PM ever

• you wince whenever you hear a meaty punch

• you think Melanie Griffith's top lip should have its own post code

They (2002)

What the hell was that?

[8/10 · 1 July 2003]

I recently watched They at a 24 hour horror marathon and was surprised at the suspense and dread I felt when things started getting dark in the film. I wasn't overly concerned about the wellbeing of the characters but the fear was projected well and dug up my own childhood fears of the dark.

The fact that you don't get to see They added to the "fear of the unknown" letting your imagination fill in the gaps with whatever nasty thing you're afraid of. What you DID see of They was enough to give you the heeby jeebies, spidering limbs, dark THINGS creeping around in the shadows, moving at incredible speeds. Wonderful stuff!

Watch this in the dark by yourself... *shudder*

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

Better than Star Wars

[6/10 · 15 May 2002]

I'm still deciding whether Attack of the Clones is the best Star Wars movie or the second best. All sentimentality aside, this movie literally took my breath away, something A New Hope never did. Before last night my favourite SW film was The Empire Strikes Back, then ANH, Return of the Jedi and finally, Episode I. Episode II fits either at the start or just after Empire. I read a few reviews before seeing the film and noted that critics tend to expect any film to be perfect in every way. Comments like "terrible scripting" and "bad acting" seem to be thrown around often but I'm sure if ANH was released today it would get just as bad reviews, maybe worse. In one line Attack of the Clones is as good as The Phantom Menace was bad. The special effects were freaky good and only one or two CG shots (out of hundreds) looked a tad fake. The rest is worthy of an Academy Award (although it may be forgotten by then). The sound was equally amazing from the seat rocking explosions to the bustling city of Coruscant to the quite waters of Naboo. I was especially impressed with the re-introduction of some of the old favourites (read: lasers). The score was fantastic and added so much to the film, plus picking up on the little themes from the original trilogy (Emperial March etc) weaved into the new score was a delight. The final shot was almost identical to the final shot in Empire Strikes Back except this time we have Anakin and Padme standing arm in arm while C3PO and R2D2 look on. Ahhhh, I just want to watch this film over and over again until Episode III comes out.

Monster's Ball (2001)

Unrealistic

[5/10 · 7 April 2002]

I can't believe the amount of people carrying on about the realism of this story. We have a son-beating, racist bigot who suddenly becomes the SNAG of all SNAGs and we have a strong, single-mother who suddenly becomes a submissive, sex slave.

Admittedly people can change but how can two people switch from Yin to Yang in a couple of days?