Master_Yoda Reviews

Catwoman (2004)

I don't understand...

[6/10 · 16 March 2005]

The Summary is not about the movie because of course I understood it (pretty easy plot to follow) No, what I didn't understand was why this movie ends up with a 3 out of 10 note. Which makes this movie one of the lowest rated comics to movies flick over the last twenty years. The grade is even lower than Batman and Robin.

To be frank I was more than reluctant to see this movie in the first place. When it hit the theater it was definitely on my movies-to-skip list. And I don't actually pay to see movies in the theater so that gives you a pretty good idea of what my opinion of the film was back then.

A year or so have passed since it's release and having seen all the movie at my video store I decided to give it a shot (I don't pay for rental either so it was really a matter of waste of time)

I throw the disc in my DVD player and launch the Title 01 of the DVD (this way you skip all the annoying animated menus and other previews that some DVD company includes in the rentals)

The beginning credit is a real bore so I fast forward my way to the actual start. Here it goes, it's pretty nice, some nice effects and camera angles. Good introduction to character somewhat cheesy nonetheless. Everything looks good so far not boring a good general pace. I'm actually surprised by the general looks of the film, having seen Vidocq I expected another Digital Effect Vomit but I guess the technology advanced really fast in the last three or so years. Because it's looks pretty real to me. Then we get to the drowning scene. The following shot feature Berry on some kind of Island surrounded by cats. Which was very lame. Because there's no way a cat or any number of them for that matter would drag a dead body out of the water, and it's kinda stupid to have CGIed the cat that's on Berry. However that lame scene apart the general tone of the movie was very good. The most important of all it was not boring at all.

So except for a couple of CGI overuse and some cheesy line I just don't get why this movie got a rating that low. Because as I said before I don't pay for movies and rentals so lemme tell you I watch a lot of them (1 to 5 a day, being insomniac and sleeping three hours a day helps too)

And it's one of the best I've seen so far. It's no Tim Burton's Batman or Bryan Singer's X-Men but it's way better than Spider-Man 2 who's actually number 244 out of the IMDb Top 250. And apart from a couple of good action sequence Spider-Man 2 is all about endless pathos scenes, pseudo right or wrong philosophy and cheesy love story about two actors that overplay those moments with the "I-Want-To-Be-Nominated-To-The-Oscars" spark in their respective eyes.

So I just don't get people bitching about this movie when the Director actually tries to make things a little different and use the latest technology in order to bring this comic character to life. He did some stuff wrong but the biggest part is done right.

There has been so many movies in the last 5 years that came from Comics characters and nine tenth of those movie were really poor. So why picking on this one when so much worse has been done. Daredevil, Hulk, The Punisher to name a few.

So if you like action movies, with nice fighting sequences, sexy characters, and beyond laws of physics action. Then this movie is for you . Don't listen to the bad reviews this movie had because most of them are just gratuitous bitching from people who either are racist (Unfortunatly those people exist and bitch about everything with black or Hispanic actors in) or those people just don't like this genre of movie so they cannot be objective about reviewing this movie.

Jersey Girl (2004)

A very good movie.

[8/10 · 25 February 2005]

Being a fan of Kevin Smith's prior work I was really afraid of what the movie will be. When I first heard about this movie I was really waiting for it though when I knew that Jennifer "Fat Ass Can't Act Can't Sing" Lopez would be a part of the movie I thought. "That's it, Kevin sold his soul to Satan for making a few buck". So I did not went to see this movie when it opened in theaters. I waited for the DVD release and rented it.

As I never read the plot of the movie before seeing them I didn't expect J-Lo's part to be that short and in a way good since she dies in the movie. Well I think she should do the "Life should imitate art" thingy for our sake.

However spilling my hate for Jennifer Lopez as no real point for this review.

So What we have here ?

Well a well written comedy about a self centered man that got the face the reality of being a father. And also that fame and money doesn't make your life better than the average store clerk. Romantic Comedy is the trickiest genre in my opinion. Because you have to make the audience feel something without taking a dive into the common Pathos. And most of the time in RomCom the story line is very improbable and characters are almost flawless.

In this movie everyone feel real. Everything's believable. And it's really funny, it's the Kevin Smith's humour without Dick, Weed and Fart Jokes. And except for J-Lo the acting is very good in this flick. Oh and the kid Raquel Castro is not the "cliched blonde little cute Caucasian beauty pageant runner up 10 years old" that you see in all those movies.

Kevin Smith did different with this movie and did great. I guess no one expected that he could do an actually good Romantic Comedy because only a couple did. He was one of them on this one.

I kept on hearing and reading bad comments about this movie from so called "Fans" of Smith's work and I just keep on thinking this scene in Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back where Holden McNeil try to explain Jay & Bob what Intrernet is about. And the funniest thing about all this is the so called "Fans" must have laughed out loud watching this scene and are now portraying the ones they laughed at.

Although it's all about taste but I guess that if you're not a 16 years old stoner that actually understood Smith's previous movies (there's more to it that meets the eye) You cannot say this movie deserve less than a 6.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Rise of the Mayhem or how to cover the lack of plot with incredible action scenes. (Might be spoiler)

[8/10 · 14 August 2003]

Here we finally are. The long time promised Terminator 3... I was disappointed to hear that Cameron was too busy writing scenario for is Dark Angel crap and earning money from Titanic to do a Terminator 3. Maybe he also didn't want to do it but at least he could have participate or writing the script. (no film from him since 97 he never waited so long for making movie)

Because oh my god, the plot is gone. What made the first 2 Terminator such good movies was the plot and the depth of the characters. But this time it's only shallow shells and bad acting (except from both Loken and Schwarzenegger) And where there's a little of plot most of it is incorrect regarding the previous terminator. (and I'm not talking about James Cameron Coda in the never seen before version from Terminator 2)

The wrong guy died in T2 and despite all the research and material which both Skynet and the T models are based upon are destroyed, everything is still the same and all the Terminator and Machines just look like the same. the T-101 after making a shooting in a pack of Policemen is checking for human casualties which as no place in the film since it's not the same Terminator John told about how wrong it was to kill people. As for Sarah Connor dying of Leukemia it's not directly a plot hole. But how lame that was ?

Now to the good parts.

The T-X. Great idea a female Terminator is something they should have done earlier for a simple reason, women are less suspected than men. So the beautiful woman the T-X is would more easily be undercover than the T-101 big muscles with killer face.

The Action. Ever present and never boring. They've done a great job with the action scenes. Long but not too long Car chase with a good use of the environment, Short but effective gun fights and the cherry on top of the cake, great fight between both Terminators (too short to me but we cannot have everything we want in a movie).

Now about acting

Arnold Schwarzenegger: The same old good T-101 and it's best role so far. He was better in T2 but still know how to make a good old fashion cold hearted killing machine.

Nick Stahl: Laughable, He as nothing to do in this movie even though the plot and the acting parts are really not the thing to focus on. Stahl just did a poor version of the always on the run disturbed guy. If Judgment Day actually happens, with is lack of Charisma and being the leader of the revolution... we're screwed.

Claire Danes: (Spoiler) Good actress but average performance she does too much screaming and the line she had were not the brightest. She lose her Fiancé cry a couple of tears then talk about John and her making out with a big smile on her face.

Kristanna Loken: Great in the movie. Too bad she has not that many lines. Because her acting as a killing machine is very credible. She brought the cold blooded ice woman to the top. Plus she has many face expression in the movie which makes her part very difficult and yet did those scene to a near perfection.

Overall: As an action movie it's a great movie. I gave it 8. If you are a diehard fan from the first two opus you might be truly disappointed. But I took it like a related film not like a sequel which made me enjoy it to the fullest. Fan of action go see this film.

Men in Black II (2002)

Cheap sequel for a 97M$ budget film. [might be a spoiler]

[5/10 · 16 August 2002]

I think this is one of the cheapest sequel I've seen in many years.

I guess I was really disappointed since I'd really like the first movie. In a nutshell, nothing new. Same old agents, same old gadgets, same old plot.

Will Smith tends to overacting and this time he's at the edge of caricature.

As for the aliens. Many, too many Aliens has been created here. Most of them are totally ridiculous. From the bright Yellow and Red Chickenish alien to the huge wtfisthat sort of tentacle thingy which takes half of the agency all by itself.

About the plot. One mean Alien kills everyone in his(her) way in order to get something from earth back. Does it ring a bell ? Well for me it's the same plot as the first one. Except this time it's not some bug in Edgar Suit but the Hot Lara Flynn Boyle.

And the end of the movie, Oh my god ! foreseeable as it can be. The thing is, it is so lame I kept saying to myself that they could not come with something that cheap. And guess what they did it.

So the best advice I can give you is to wait for this movie to be on TV and to watch it if you don't have anything more exciting to do (you would have more fun doing your laundry)

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Amazing [Spoilers]

[10/10 · 22 December 2001]

I've been waiting for this movie ever since I heard it was going to be done. And I think it's amazing.

It doesn't strictly stick to the book, but that would have been an impossible thing to do in 3 hours. And 4+ hours movies are long gone.

I could have seen a 4 hours movie tonight but this movie has to make profit too and in order to do that it has to be under 3 hours.

The picture and scenery is flawless. The actors are really well casted, and all great. Peter Jackson's direction is remarkable and true.

The only flaw to me is it's the first part of a trilogy and we'll have to wait a whole year to see the Two Towers.

But if we think about it twice I guess it's the best thing to do.

Otherwise it would be too much at once and the pleasure would be spoiled.

And I'm really glad that profit was not the leitmotiv of this movie as in Star Wars Episode I : The Fantom Menace with the Jar Jar Binks-Made-For-The-Kids-Lame-And-Useless-Character-That-Will-Be-A-Great-Sellers-In-Toys-Section-Next-Christmas.

And We know Arwen never saved Frodo from the Dark Riders but that Water Spell scene is really awesome !

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

Too much ado about nothing...

[9 December 2001]

Well I went to theater this evening too see Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, too see what all that fuss was about.

And I came out after two and a half hours later.

Nothing new, predictable twists, too much characters. This movie looks like a raw cut to me. You're here, then you go there and all of the sudden you're back here etcetera etcetera... It's really confusing. I did not read the book and I'm going too. Because I feel like I've been ripped off with the movie.

One thing is for sure I saw kids fell asleep in the theater.

However this movie is just like anything you read or saw about Heroic Fantasy but there's clever Goblins in it... Doh!

Wait for the Lord Of The Ring if you want to see the real thing. If you have kids buy them the book.

This film ain't much than an excuse to make the money machine rolling.

Absolument fabuleux (2001)

This movie is a shame.

[30 August 2001]

I only went to see this movie because I had the feeling it would suck. And I was right, the gags are really lame, and Josiane Balasko as Edina is awful. The original tv series was actually great, but this is a terrible movie, really really awful.

Here's a tip, don't go see this movie.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

Final Fantasy ?! Are you kidding me ?

[22 August 2001]

I've read many comments about this movie and none of them highlighted the most important thing about this animation. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FINAL FANTASY WHATSOEVER.

First of all it takes place on the Earth and worse, it takes place in the United States (Guess primary target for Hironobu Sakaguchi was the U.S. market) However they tricked people into going to see it by calling this movie Final Fantasy. When I saw the trailer it seemed to be like a post-apocalyptic cybercrap Si-Fi movie. And this what is it. A scientist and a bunch of dumb marines. This chick come out of the blue with the miracle solution. And Pro-Ecologist background was really annoying to me.

Final Fantasy is about a hero that save the world, but the fun of it is the Fantasy side. Monsters, Dragon, Sword fights, Magic, Mythology and the Arch-Enemy. In this movie the villain is pathetic and has no special power whatsoever and a little part.

Usually Japanese writers use a lots of occidental mythology to backup their stories, this time there's just a mere reference to Gaïa (the earth spirit) the rest is confusing, you got easily lost if you're not aware.

The good points : The visual is stunning they did their homework. It's not perfect but it's damn close. It gives you a freaking taste of what could be brought to you in five or ten years (maybe less)

The casting voice is really good. Ming-Na does her job with feelings (at least there's felling in the voices) I'd probably would have cast Vin Diesel for either Grey or Ryan voice because he has something that Alec Baldwin or Ving Rhames don't have. But buscemi is great.

The story is not that bad.

Finaly they should either have done an Heroic Fantasy story in the line of the Other FFs or call their movie The Spirit Within. Because calling it FF was a rip off.

Baise-moi (2000)

Top ten reseaon why you shouldn't see this movie...

[10 August 2001]

Someone offered me today this movie in DVD, the next thing I'm going to do is trading it for another one. However here is the top ten reasons why you shouldn't see it.

1- The movie has been shot in video 2- The movie has not point 3- The movie is 77 min long 4- The movie is just about sex and violence (you better rent either a porno or a popcorn movie) 5- The movie is uncoherent 6- There's only porn actor or bad actor in it. 7- The movie is about two girls that shoot guy so you better watch or rewatch Thelma and Louise 8- You'd better wash your hardwood floor with a toothbrush than seeing this movie (You would not waste your time) 9- Because if you do so you are encouraging Despentes to make another book/movie and that would be either bad for literature and for movie industry 10- Make up one on your own it would be just as good as mine

However I want to highlight a point, Karen Bach A.K.A Karen Lancaume is really good at acting. She's a porn actress but might be as well a regular actress. She's really good looking, she has charisma and she puts feelings through her acting. I hope she's going to make more regular movies, and no lame porn flick like Baise-Moi. Rafaëlla Anderson is not bad, but I didn't like her performance. Maybe it's her character I don't know.

However if you still wanna watch this movie. Wait until you could watch it for free.

Amélie (2001)

Simple, Touching, Clever and Wonderful...

[10/10 · 2 July 2001]

This movie is so far one of the best movie I've seen. Once again Jeunet created a real mood in this movie. Far from the glaucous and unhealthy admosphere he usualy brought into a film. This picture is both unbelivably simple and so deep but with a bunch of laughters and tears. French directors usualy try to put reflections and emotion in their film but generaly end up with a big confusing mess. This is not the case for ...Amélie Poulain. This movie is simple, touching, clever and wonderful. When you go out of the theater you might have change some point of view from your vision of the life. Whether you like it or not, it will do no harm to see it. And you should defintely see it.

Fight Club (1999)

Seat back, Enjoy the show and exit grown up from the Theater

[10/10 · 29 November 1999]

Well the first thing I wanted to do after seeing Fight Club for the first was to see it all over again. Cause this movie is simply brillant. It has everything from violence to humour. I wasn't expect to laugh at all before to see it. The trailer is not really good cause it shows all the violent scene and give you a bad general idea of the atmosphere of the movie. But it's impossible to gave you an idea of what the movie is in two minutes. As it's almost impossible to resumate the movie. Anyway I had a lots of good laugh. But the general humour and mood of the movie is kinda cynical and dark. It's also a great cristism of today American Society and American Way to Live. Since I can't resume this movie I just can tell you that you'll feel like smarter after seen this movie and you'll maybe stop buying Smart Mop after seeing it on Infomertials. It might open your eyes too about your way of life and change for ever you vision of the U.S.A . Some might find it all fucked up. But I think it's one of the ten best movie ever made. The only thing I have to tell you is "Go see it twice for fully understand everything in this movie" (4 or 5 times would be mendatory for low IQs =) Thanks David Fincher for this brillant movie And aslo thx to every actors (and of course Actresses) for their wonderfull performences !