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Reviews
Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
chuck's best movie. end of story.
i am proud to say that this film changed my life. no, wait...that was ishtar...never mind. in any case, this film's elementary plot and mindless dialogue amuse me. therefore, it has value and is worth watching. analyzing and picking this crap apart is pointless...it is what it is. chuck thinks he is some sort of super action hero, and that is like calling "carrot top" the next andy kauffman.
Honeymoon Horror (1982)
makes me want to get married...immediately.
let's get one thing straight...this is an obvious cliche in the genre of horror: people go on their honeymoon and the killings ensue. needless to say, i loved this film. i find nothing but entertainment value in this. the ridiculous plot and atrocious acting is what makes this both vomit inducing and wonderfully obnoxious. i recommend this this for the people out there who actually search out awful b-movie horrors and watch them in their entirety, loving every painful minute of it. if a movie is so terrible that it provokes anger and nausea within the viewer, it should be valued.
The Incredible Torture Show (1976)
a vomit inducing nightmare...i loved it.
a summary i will not provide, but my reactions to this deliciously obnoxious little film i will. my first bowel movement was triggered right around the time sardu and ralfus played "butt darts" with one of their many helpless female victims. then, i threw up all over my carpet as i witnessed sardu whip and torture another helpless female whose head happened to be in a guillotine, and the rope holding the blade up in her mouth. pure genius. if you like "blood diner", "roller blade", or the situational comedy series "silver spoons", this film will make you want to destroy something and then vomit or poop all over it. this movie contains brilliant set design, magnificent costumes, and some of the best acting since "ALF". you want the best b-movie horror film of all time? i say, "no problem!"
The Golden Girls (1985)
this wacky and irreverent elderly foursome stole my heart!!!
blanche, rose, dorothy, and sophia are the reining queens of of the genre known as situational comedy! the chemistry between these senior stars is not repeatable. dorothy's frank cynicism won me over from the start. combine a little ignorance, a bit of wild sexuality, and a small taste of snappy comebacks and you have the recipe for endless fun that'll keep you coming back and begging for more!
The Facts of Life (1979)
this atrocious little series makes me throw up and laugh at the same time OR: THIS SHOW IS PURE GENIUS
don't get me started...the nightmare flashbacks of blair and "tutti" make me want to throw up. the episode in which jo drank mass quantities of alcohol and then ended up with that obnoxious hangover make me want to smash my television set and then throw up on the pile of debris. blair's uptight, pompous attitude earns her an f minus in my little black book (the book in which i make comments about actors and actresses like the golden girls and other such situational comedy "stars"). overall, this show gets an A plus for making me both want to throw up and feather my hair at the same time.
Blood Bath (1975)
another work of genius by b-movie norse god joel reed
this nauseating tale of gore and torture wins my vote as the best b-movie horror for 1976. brilliant costume, intelligent plot, and terrific special effects make this a must see. not only that, but i threw up T W I C E while viewing this exceptional work of art; once when i saw blood and again when i witnessed a monstrous act of torture only the devil himself could conceptualize. this movie is wicked...if you like "blood sucking freaks" or the situational comedy series "the golden girls", you will love this obnoxious little piece!
The Idiot Box (1991)
wacky, irreverent, ingenious: eddie the flying gimp
this show remains my favorite to date. from "the huggins family" to "eddie the flying gimp", this show was filled with high-tailed hilarities and non-stop laughter that'd leave you in stitches. not for the faint of heart. i have all the episodes on tape and i still puke every time i see sinead o. get punched square in the face by a one crazy and crass alex winter. any fans out there? give me a holler.....
Hollywood Monster (1987)
emmerich's best work to date...BY FAR
this movie exemplifies the captivating adventure a ridiculous ghost/beast to can add to a somewhat atrocious plot. this ghost is a recipe for fun and comedy as jason lively and friends search for the MILLIONS. as this high-tailed hilarity becomes almost unbearable, this fun loving ghost materializes and just about makes you choke on your own laughter. fun for children and senior citizens, but not middle aged soccer moms. what makes this even better.....jason lively is the pompous idiot from european vacation, only now he has a mullet! pure casting genius! amen.
Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell (1986)
work-o-genius by an unknowing/oblivious director or: xaxtron 5000
this movie exemplifies all that is good, great, or otherwise in the genre of low budget horror. there is a norse god!!! send in the clowns!!! the bearded actor/genius in this piece(gore-met zombie chef) is the next larger version of luis de jesus, of "blood sucking freaks" fame. beautiful set design, great costume, excellent casting. a true work of art by any true B-movie fanatic's standards. bravo......