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GuanoLad
Reviews
Queens of Mystery (2019)
Has anybody mentioned Pushing Daisies yet?
Each story begins with Matilda, as though she was the main character, but then spends most of the episode focusing on the Aunts, who aren't even slightly interesting. The pacing is glacially slow, but the quirky narration is trying to convince us it's perky and sweet. The murders seem like an afterthought. None of it gels even slightly, it's a thorough misfire from top to bottom.
Zombie Love (2007)
A single joke movie, and it's not even a funny joke.
What should have been a two minute film with a weak punchline goes for an interminable length of time, with nothing interesting happening during its entirety.
The "cleverness" of having epic songs throughout do not hide the amateurishness. Bad acting, bad makeup, no jokes, horrible editing, and decent singing but of songs that you cannot hear the lyrics of. It has the entertainment value of a third rate school play.
Zombie films are two a penny these days, so trying for something original is admirable, but there's more to a successful film than a new twist on an idea.
A good place to start improving this film might be tightening the edit, learning about comic timing, and figuring out how to write jokes so that they're actually funny.
I do not know why it got so many awards - I can only imagine its competition was entirely unwatchable.
Chasing Amy (1997)
Ugh!
Not my thing. Didn't like it. Too crude, too unlikely, couldn't relate to it, hated it.
I only watched it because a friend of mine constantly raved about it, convincing me to at least see it. But as usual, my first impressions of a movie before I see it prevailed, and it was precisely the kind of film I don't enjoy.
Stigmata (1999)
Horrible
This is what we in the trade call a 'steaming load of ****'.
If there's one thing I hate, it's style over substance. This is why I did not go see Mission Impossible 2, and why I do not watch music videos anymore. Because they're nonsense. And making movies where it's just an excuse to sell CDs of the soundtrack, or a big extended music video that makes your eyes ache and your brain spin, is not entertainment.
Some people just don't get it, and I pity them.