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Foeth
Reviews
Star Wars: Rebel Assault II - the Hidden Empire (1995)
Extremely boring and a waste of money and time
This is a fully scripted game, meaning that you should be exactly on the right place at the right time, while a video plays on the background. That video is a bit blocky, thought not too bad. If you know how to fly/walk, you can literally do it with your eyes shut, as the game is completely static!
The story line is rock bottom bad, where you blow up all the bad guys and saving the blond. Apparently all Star Wars ships suffer from the same problem: underclassed craft can fly in the reactor room and blow everything up...again!
Oh, make a custom pilot with all damages on 0 and sit back and watch, then it is slightly agreeable. As a game it is non-interactive, thus actually not a game?!
Star Wars: Dark Forces (1995)
Good, but...
This Shoot 'm up has good level design and interesting locations, perhaps giving one of the best atmospheres of the early shooters, though the fact you cannot save ingame will frustrate the player quickly and will make him stop playing. Still, a good game, which introduced jumping to the First person Shooter.
Spacejacked (1997)
Complete Smeg
It's not that the special effects are worse than the original star trek series, or that helmets switch position with each new shot, as this is clearly a no-budget movie. It's the absence of any storyline or actor whatsoever. The entire ship is contaminated with stereotypes, while the bad guy tries to extract money from them, by forcing them to give him their bank account passwords. When that fails, he uses a small machine which does the trick within 15 minutes, making you wonder why he staged the entire 'spacejacking' in the first place. In one scene, you can even see both doors of the airlock leading to the 'depressurized zone' standing open. Bah.
Rating: 1/10. Honestly, I have seen jars of paint looking more interesting than this.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Austin goes where Austin has been before.
The sequel to Austin Powers has a few good laughs in it, but I found most jokes to be a repeating of part I. Some jokes were actually the very same jokes. Come to think of it, most jokes were exactly the same ones as in part one, and some even in the same section of the movie as in part I.
This I found a bit disappointing, and combining that with a story that doesn't lift off makes it a bit dull. Dr Evil (Who is by far the most entertaining character)'s sidekick, mini-me quickly becomes very predictable, and the final battlescene between Austin and Mini-me isn't that much of a show.
The scenes with the oddly shaped rocket isn't all that bad, but even that joke gets repeated, within the film itself! Sure, throw another minute of the same thing at the viewer.
If you haven't seen part one, I suppose it's a very amusing film, but if you have, the nice jokes and gags are spare.
But, one thing remains to said, the appearance of Dr Evil and his son, Seth, on Jerry Springer Show is hilarious.
Because I liked part I so much: 6/10
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Fortunately, Lucas has two more Chances at a decent prequel
Plotholes the size of antartica, dialogues not exceeding the height of your average sidewalk, and non human characters more horrific than Alien.
It will disappoint; the effects are not enough to make you think why Lucas couldn't come up with something decent after 20 years of deliberation.
Does this prequel contribute any information to the series we need for part II? Better still, lets do a requel first!!
3/10.