kenj0418 Reviews

eXistenZ (1999)

Artificial reality movies are big now, why don't we make one too...

[1/10 · 1 December 1999]

Why do people make stuff like this?

This movie, obviously trying to capitalize on the popularity of "The Matrix", had no plot, flat characters, no drama, no suspense, and nothing new to offer.

Apparently from the movie and the trailers for it, a big portion of the drama was suppose to come from not knowing what was real and what wasn't. Unfortunately, this movie was so predictable that I was never in any doubt about what was about to happen next or whether or not the characters were in the real world or a simulation.

On top of all the other problems with this movie, we are expected to believe that "the greatest game programmer in the world" works on a game for five years without ever bothering to make a backup copy (and this is thus motivated to defend her "pod" [sort of like a gooey PlayStation] lest her sole copy be lost).

I was also severely annoyed by the so-called game they played -- I found it impossible to believe that a game developer that could generate a realistic looking artificial world couldn't program a better game-AI than adventure game programmers of the 1980's could. Every time the game characters would stare blankly ahead while the main characters tried to say the 'proper' response I wanted to bonk the writer over the head with an Infocom manual.

Avoid this movie. The real/simulation philosophical issues are covered better in "The 13th Floor" (which isn't the greatest either, but it's much better than this)

1 out of 10.

Double Jeopardy (1999)

If you liked the Fugitive, you'll probably like this.

[7/10 · 27 September 1999]

This movie is designed for those people who would like to see "The Fugitive" on the big screen one more time -- especially those who were thinking "The only thing that would make the Fugitive better was if Tommy Lee Jones was chasing after someone pretty than Harrison Ford." If that describes you, then you should really enjoy this movie.

If that doesn't describe you, then you probably won't much care for this movie, since (other than the misinterpreted legal theory behind the title and the previews) this is the same movie.

I fell into the first category, and while there was nothing new here, I did enjoy the movie.

Spacejacked (1997 TV Movie)

This is almost good enough to qualify as a B movie, but not.

[13 September 1999]

If you are reading this, then it probably means you too have wasted $3.50 renting this awful movie. If you have not yet rented it, then save your money. This movie has no plot, horrible acting, pitiful effects, and is just plain stupid.

Dune (1984)

Buy the book - AVOID THE MOVIE

[12 September 1999]

I read the book, and enjoyed it a great deal, so I rented the movie thinking I would enjoy that as well.

BIG MISTAKE.

This is the worst movie that I have ever seen. Even having read the book, it was still next to impossible to figure out what was going on. People who hadn't read the book were completly lost. I lost 15 IQ points while watching this movie (several thousand brain cells refused to continue participating in the viewing of this abomination and ceased to function).

I recommend you avoid this movie at all costs.