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Reviews
Vampyros Lesbos (1971)
Really, really horrible.
A terrible, uncompelling, slow moving, confusing mess. There are probably less than 30 lines of dialogue in the whole movie, and they each followed by 15 minutes or more of footage of people walking up stairs, moths flying, scorpions walking, kites floating... Completely ridiculous! If you MUST see this movie, at least watch it in fast foward. Believe me, you're not missing much.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Run, don't walk AWAY from this movie.
People who gave this film a 10 must either be a masochist or easily enthralled by shiny objects. Blair Witch is a complete waste of time and money. It has my vote for the most irritating movie of all time. After sitting through the 80 minutes of the film (was it ONLY 80 minutes? It felt like an eternity) I felt like the film makers had lured me into the theater to kick me in the ass and steal my nine bucks. Save some cash- just pay the bum on the corner a quarter to scream obscenities at you for an hour and you'll glean about the same measure of enjoyment.
8MM (1999)
A phenomenal waste of 2 hours.
Although this film blatantly aimed to shock the audience, I just found the whole thing to be distasteful. Many times the movie just dragged painfully on- the film could have been edited to be 45 minutes shorter. The ending was then rushed and disappointingly predictable. What were supposed to be some of the most dramatic moments actually made the theater burst into laughter- they were that ludicrous. Nicholas Cage's character was surprising static for all the hell he goes through, and towards the end of the movie it's hard to identify with most of his actions. The only enjoyable part of this movie was Joaquin Phoenix's character, Max California. It adds a bit of much needed levity to this otherwise ponderous film but falls just short of saving it from being an atrocious waste of time.
Addams Family Values (1993)
Absolutely hilarious - even better than the original!
This is one of the most wickedly funny movies of all time. The Addams children get sent to a very wholesome summer camp and the results are hilarious. Christina Ricci gives a great performance as Wednesday, and she is only overshadowed by Joan Cusack's character, Debbie, the "Black Widow." Some of their monologues alone make the movie worth seeing.
Jawbreaker (1999)
Not to be taken seriously - but a lot of fun!
This is a morbid comedy with a fabulous performance by Rose McGawon. No, it's not as good as Clueless or Heathers, but the film abounds with wickedly funny one liners. At times over the top, you will like this film if you remember not to take it too seriously.