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10/10
Best new film since The Martian
1 January 2021
I thought The Midnight Sky was one of the best modern films I've seen in years. Clooney's direction was masterful: from perfectly framed shots packed with pathos to perfect pacing and beautful effects and gently-honed relationships. But above all, and so unusual for American films, it does not insult the viewers' intelligence. OK, there is some whacky "science" such as the premise of a ready-made habitable moon of Jupiter and surviving a deathly experience in the Arctic without any obvious ill-effects - but I was more than prepared to forgive those lapses.
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Peppermint (2018)
5/10
Tasteless, nasty, formulaic dross
7 October 2020
Brutal, cliché-ridden revenge movie that stretches credulity beyond breaking point. One moment made me chuckle: when Jennifer Garner meets the woman from the car park again.
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10/10
The definitive D/s film
21 February 2015
Forget 9 1/2 Weeks, forget Last Tango in Paris, forget Secretary and most definitely forget 50 Shades, this is THE definitive cinematic essay on a dom/sub relationship.

The idea is a fascinating and brave one: to create an homage to artistic elements of the "disreputable" sexploitation movies of the 1970s and make it beautiful and profound. It's another movie that full of references to other movies and to the movie-making process. I recognised only little hints of Just Jaekin, being unfamiliar with the other influences. I did spot the marker tape on the carpet that serve two purposes, practical and metaphorical. Er.. three, there are two metaphors going on, I think, one plot-related and one post- modern commentary.

Talking of plot, it is so slight that it could be explained in three sentences. I won't, obviously, but honestly it wouldn't matter if I did. What matters is the manner of the telling.

The story inhabits a strange dream-like space where everyone in the town is a fetishistic female entomologist! (If anyone can explain the significance of the entomology, please do, I'm all ears!) But within the unreal external world, the two heroines inhabit an emotional world that is utterly believable.

In sumptuous but slightly muted autumn colours, the film looks gorgeous. I found it sensual, very erotic (despite there being no more than a few seconds of anything you could call "sex" and no nudity at all), emotionally engaging, warm, sad, funny and REAL.

Although the story deals exclusively with dominance and submission (no trace of S&M despite what it says in all the publicity, including in interviews with the director) it is a universal story about conflicting desires, fantasies, trust and compromise. In some way, it is a story for every relationship.

I absolutely loved this film.
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Lucy (I) (2014)
4/10
2001 homage is the only redeeming feature of this turkey
1 September 2014
What a mess! Revenge movie meets Discovery Channel nature documentary meets superhero movie meets The Matrix meets Inception meets 2001.

I do realise all sci-fi and fantasy requires a suspension of disbelief but not all are as challenging as this. In order to have plot holes, some sort of vaguely feasible plot is required. No such effort was made here.

What on earth was all that wildlife documentary footage about? OK, yes, the prof's lecture was boring and verging on insane but did the editors really think that sticking in film of big cats mating would hold our attention better?

Special effects developed for Inception at least made sense in Inception (not that that movie made much sense) but were distractingly and bizarrely out of place here.

Similarly, the power of the mind to pin people to the ceiling and stop bullets made internal sense in the logic of The Matrix, but stealing the effects and imagery and bunging them in where they make no sense at all.. why?

I am sure the references to The Matrix and 2001 were conscious homages rather than just theft and I confess I did enjoy the whole 2001 redux bit in the last reel.

What mildly bothered me but seriously upset my female companions was our "superhero's" total disregard for human life and suffering. I understand that made sense in the context of what little plot there was but it does make it hard to enjoy a movie when there is no-one you can sympathise with and the main character is a callous bitch.

Morgan Freeman, you're worthy of so much better, what were you doing in this turkey? Luc Besson, one of my favourite directors... WTF?
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Gladiatress (2004)
7/10
It's not so bad
29 October 2004
OK, I had several advantages in watching Gladiatress...

  • I had read the terrible reviews and had the lowest possible expectations, so I wasn't going to be disappointed.


  • I watched it with a glass of good wine and in the company of two friends who had happy memories of their fun time as extras (and we even managed to catch glimpses of them) - I recognised every single location shot - all within a few miles of my home So, you have to weigh this when I say we all enjoyed it. We all laughed aloud lots of times.


It also looks great. Much higher production values than you'd expect for a movie of this type. Partly this is down having borrowed equipment and costumes from the multi zillion dollar Gladiator. But it is also a well-made movie in its own right (OK, it's not Once upon a Time in the West - but neither is it On The Buses).

And Sally Phillips is just scrummy. She can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. And, apparently, she is a very nice person too.

So... this is never going to be on anyone's Top Ten, but give it a chance. I think some of the negativity it's had is completely over the top. I hope it does get a theatrical release - I think it deserves that.
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Dreadful, dreadful assassination of a great original
28 October 2000
Dozens of others have already written about how much better the Original La Femme Nikita was than this awful remake. I would just like to add two words... The ending! Besson's original ending was brilliant, sudden and enigmatic. The American remake's was... just pathetic. I yelled out loud and threw things at my TV set!
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Peter Sellers at his sparkling best
29 August 1999
One of my all-time favourite movies. At least, that's what I thought last time I saw it 25 years ago!

Unusually, the movie plot is an improvement on the book (originally called "The Operator" but renamed in line with the movie). The authors of the book were also the screenwriters and the took the opportunity to sharpen up the plot - changing the insurance investigator who comes to work out why this hospital has so many claims, into an innocent tradesman who is scammed into unnecessary medical attention so the hospital can take his house in payment.

As a Brit I was proud of Peter Sellers starring as an American in an American movie. I can only assume his accent passed muster - it sounded perfect to me.

C'mon studio - release it on DVD NOW!
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