Change Your Image
rivermonk
Reviews
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
A big disappointment for a big fan of the series
I have been a big fan of the show since the early 90's and have watched the series morph and develop into something very different over the years. Although the last ten seasons or so have not compared to the first eight or so, there have still been some gems that continue to draw me to watch.
I was a big fan of the the South Park movie and even the Power Puff Girls movie, both of which took each series to a new level.
I approached The Simpsons Movie with cautious optimism and refused to let all the hype set me up for disappointment. Despite the fact that my expectations were set on medium, it pains me to say that I was still disappointed. The movie has very little of the cleverness of the series and although there were some laugh-out-loud moments, it was at best a long, mediocre episode.
I imagine that casual Simpsons fans will find the movie to be a better than average comedy, but die-hard Simpsons fans will be left feeling short-changed.
Latter Days (2003)
Latter Days: gay junk food
Of course, I can only give my personal opinion, but...
Poor acting + clichéd claptrap + lack of chemistry + gay and Mormon stereotypes + a lack of respect for other people's beliefs + oversimplification of complex issues + sorely underdeveloped and unbelievable characters + mean-spirited jokes + inane dialog + internalized homophobia + cheap plot devices + embarrassing self-importance
=
one horrible, awful, disappointing waste of celluloid
I am amazed at some of the positive reviews, but I guess that is why there are so many flavors of ice cream. I'm only giving it a three because of the cute boy (Steve Sandvoss), though it took long enough for his shirt to come off...
Confessions of a Burning Man (2003)
Is Burning Man boring?
God no! But the filmmakers did their very best to make it seem so. Perhaps it's an attempt to keep spectators away from the event itself, but I don't think so.
I attended the film with seven other Burners merely two weeks after returning from BM '03, and we all agreed: What a disappointment! Following the experiences of the sad, whiny and uninteresting subjects of the film was like nails scraping across a chalkboard, you just want to leave the room screaming. These folks were not accurate cross sections of the type of people who attend Burning Man. I mean, come on! A GETTY? Please!
Apparently BM '01 was the year everyone "just said no," and the year everyone went to bed early and got a good night's sleep, and the year that everyone abstained from anything even remotely resembling sex.
Anyone who has attended BM will want to save their frustration for something that's actually frustrating, like the state of our government. All others should attend BM and form their own opinions of the event.
Oh, and to make matters worse, there is a typo in the open moments of the film, which leads one to conclude all kinds of unfortunate things.
On the Bus (2001)
A Great Burning Man Gay Reality Road Movie
When I first heard about a reality show about six gay men traveling to Burning Man on a bus, I was very excited to see it. I am happy to report that it was even better than I imagined it could be.
What sets this film apart from other reality shows is the director's obvious love for his fellow travel companions (and the love they have for each other) despite the trepidation expressed by all at the beginning of the road trip. It is completely opposite from, say, an MTV reality show which purposefully creates antagonism in order to boost its ratings.
This was a clear opportunity for the director to use this film as some kind of vehicle for his own self-promotion, but instead he does the exact opposite, giving his new friends most of the screen time while he took a modest back seat. It isn't until the end that we find out exactly how much love and respect the rest of the cast have for him. And I got the feeling that this praise for the director (Lance) is only there because he couldn't figure out how to cut it out. And I'm really glad it's there.
The shots of Burning Man are great. Anyone who has been to this radical free expression arts festival in the desert will immediately experience nostalgia. And the style of film-making is fantastic. The use of split screen, the placement of still photos and the style of the subtitles makes this movie great fun to watch.
I found myself instantly caring for all six men: Jason, the beautiful, insecure and insightful 19-year-old porn model; Billy, the really hot and funny mother hen; Jimmy, the fey and fun Swedish diver; Charlie, the beautiful, masculine and sweet free spirit; Damon, the witty, caring and repressed composer; and Lance, the sensitive, sweet, lonely, adorable director.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
This is in the top 250?!?!?!? Harsh review to follow.
I don't care how good special effects are in a movie (and this is perhaps why I'm in the minority this time) this film is a flat-out, bonafied, corn-fed stinkeroo. With a plot made from Swiss cheese, and acting as stiff as the Muir Woods, you'd think that a movie with so much going on (big space battle and chase scenes, strange alien worlds) would at least keep my interest. Despite my partner's coaching to "enjoy the world that they created," I found myself unable to get past the asinine writing and Annakin (that's 'Annie') Skywalker's inability to hide his Bronx accent. What happened to the Jedi? Why have they been reduced to bumbling, preachy, boring action heroes? And why can't Jedis visit their enslaved-sold-freed-married-abducted-tortured mothers once in a while? "You don't call, you don't write!" (There really is TOO much more I could say.)
I am sad, but certainly not surprised.
Someone should take the nail gun (Lucasfilm) away from the baby (George Lucas) before he does more irrevocable damage.
Spider-Man (2002)
The Best Comic Book Movie Ever Made
I have been waiting twenty-something years for Spider-man on the big screen, and I was NOT disappointed. Sam Raimi is awesome. No one does over-the-top cheese better than he. His style is aptly suited for comic book movies, and I like to think that no one could have done it better. The script was fantastic (it's refreshing to have something seemingly so faithful to its origins) and the players were perfect. I noticed a lot of groans during the romantic moments between Spidey and Mary Jane, but what people seemed to forget is that this movie was one giant comic book. That's the way comic book were/are written. Perfection.
Circuit (2001)
Don't be fooled, this is not a movie about the Circuit
If you have ever experienced Circuit life, you'll most probably agree after seeing this film that it is not about the Circuit, but rather about some unfortunate, poorly rendered caricatures whose lives take a turn for the worse due to their inability to control their drug use. Due to the lack of depth and character development, I felt as if the film were made after the filmmaker had had a bad experience at a dance club or had heard of someone who almost ended up on the street due to drug abuse. We never really get an accurate or fair representation of the Circuit, and even when it seems like we do, it appears as an afterthought. "See how horrible Circuit life is? Oh, here's an implication of people who seem to be doing ok with it."
I spent most of my time cringing from all the shots of needle injections (at no point in my experience of the Circuit have I EVER seen anyone with a needle), or rolling my eyes as a result of bad acting and writing. The one bright shining exception among all the dimensionless characters was the protagonist's (John's) ex-girlfriend, Nina. Not only did she have some depth, but she had most of the film's (few) good lines. And when it's funny it's really funny, intentionally or not.
Those who have spent the last couple of years expounding on the evils of the Circuit (without ever having attended a Circuit Party) will run around saying, "I told you so!" While the rest of us will shrug our shoulders and quietly know that this is a film masquerading as a film about the Circuit.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
How the Greedy Hollywood Machine ruined a story
I am surprised that anyone DID like this film, as there was much I was disappointed with. The few highlights for me were the costumes / sets, which had some clever ideas, and the twist of a capitalistic / materialistic townspeople who have lost sight of the potential of the holiday. I thought Cindy Lou Who's acting was disappointing, as was much of the writing, especially the poor additions to Dr. Seuss' original poetry - it was VERY clear to me what was added. Also, I think the changes to the story didn't serve it well for the most part and were not well thought out. Carrey as the Grinch didn't have a lot to work with but I think he did the best he could - there were a few moments I couldn't help but laugh. Overall, I think they chose cheap glitz over substance, a good story, acting or detail like so many Hollywood cookie cutter films.