MJK-5 Reviews

Random Hearts (1999)

Good idea, awful execution

[11 October 1999]

The idea for this movie is quite good. Unfortunately, the plot is one of the most contrived, indeed one of the downright worst, in a major hollywood picture since, well, its just bad, ok? The film has way too many "was that supposed to be serious? or funny?" moments, sends its romantic leads flying around the country with the flimsiest explanations you've ever heard, and has an egregous "floating subplot" with absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the picture, except to make it longer, something I certainly was not hoping for.

On a side note, the projector cut out in the theater I was watching this in, and people applauded. I don't think this turkey is going to do very well.

Heart of Midnight (1988)

Hey, this was pretty good.

[8/10 · 22 March 1999]

Can't see why this movie has gotten such low ratings. For a thriller movie, not my favorite genre, it was really good. Maybe watching it at 3 AM muddled my critical sensibilities, but from where I was sitting, Leigh nailed every line in the film, and she was totally convincing and sympathetic. Did anyone else out there appreciate the classic slight-of-hand approach to the "paranormal" the film took, as well as the serious issues it raised? In my opinion, a scary movie has to include something real to be scared about. Monsters and boogymen just don't do it for me. Not that that there weren't a few "aaaaaghh!" scares in this film, there were [the medicine cabinet scene scared the hell out of me!], but it was the movie itself, not any specific spooky part, that gave me the heebie-jeebies.

I don't know. Maybe my tastes aren't as exacting as they used to be, but I'm not afraid to say I think this was a damn good film. So there!

Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

Good! but, wait, no.... really bad

[5/10 · 19 December 1998]

I loved the atmosphere and the sets in this movie. The whole vision of the futuristic Scotland is great. Now that's about the first fifteen minutes.

Everything else sucks. The acting sucks. Most of the directing sucks. The plot makes no sense, and contradicts both the first and the third movie. I know its a fantasy movie here, but if you're going to have people coming back from the dead, you better at least make an better attempt to explain it than Highlander II did. If the people who made this movie would have just paid attention to the wonderful, cozy yet very urban feel that was being created, it could've been a great movie along the lines of a Blade Runner or a Brazil. Unfortunately, they don't, there's large portions of the film that don't make any sense at all, and there are very few sword-fights, which is what people expect from a Highlander movie, for crying out loud.

Yet another movie that could've been great, but turns out to be really lousy.

Brazil (1985)

One of the strangest movies ever

[10/10 · 18 December 1998]

I think attempts to compare Brazil to Kafka or Orwell eventually fall short. Although Gilliam's vision also features a dark, overbearing bureaucracy, in Brazil it is one gone completely and utterly mad. Everything in this movie, from the incessant theme song that must play every ten minutes, to the repairman that bursts into tears at the name of a form, to the ultimate, bizarre fate of Tuttle was that just a dream?] has a unique sense of silly forboding.

Going Bananas (1987)

I love monkey movies, but.....

[1/10 · 17 December 1998]

A good friend of mine one said: "A monkey is funny, anytime, anywhere." There is one exception to this: GOING BANANAS. It is quite simply the WORST MOVIE I have ever seen. It's worse than PLAN 9, worse than THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS. It is TERRIBLE. The talking monkey gag gets old after about three minutes, and believe me that's all there is. Make sure you have a bunch of people around to revive you after you go into TOXIC SHOCK from GOING BANANAS, the worst movie ever.