J. Canker Huxley Reviews

Real People (1979–1983)

70s "Found" comedy

[4 July 2005]

As other posters stated, this was a 60 minute show featuring interesting and odd people around the USA. Nearly all of the members of the cast (the late Skip Stephenson, Byron Allen, Fred Willard, and Mark Russell) were all comedians and disciples of Steve Allen's "found" comedy style. The basis was that real people and real life were more interesting and humorous than most contrived scripts.

What the other posters do not mention is that although many of the stories were, at the base, interesting, the show itself could be quite annoying. It was as if the network people didn't get what the show was about and reality needed to be "accented." Many of the segments were edited more in fashion of America's Funniest Home videos; complete with silly sound effects, Keystone Kops fast forwards, cheesy commentary, etc.

For instance, I remember one segment where a car enthusiast bought two Packards and fused the front ends together to make a "push me-pull me" car. Both ends had engines and the driver could operate the car out of either the front or back ends. Pretty fascinating, but out of the five minute segment, only 30 to 40 seconds was dedicated to the car's owner and how he build the car, while the remaining parts of the segments was filled with wacky music and gaping-jawed reactions of local yokels to the vehicle.

Other segments that went off the beaten path, and were not really comedy but of human interest, were criminally short. I remember one segment hosted by (I believe) John Barbour at reunion of American WWII POWs in the Pacific. They began to tell a compelling story of captivity and how, near starving, they bunched their clothing together and made an American Flag. Several broke down on camera with Barbour consoling them -- a very touching story not seen on TV in 1980. Unfortunately, this groundbreaking piece was only a few minutes, and what would have been a great "real people" story was stuck in between other pap.

The direction of this show was not the fault of the hosts or the writers; there are some great ideas in this show, but I remember it mostly being weighted down by corny gimmicks famous of the networks of that time. Later they brought in Peter Billingsly (L'il Ralphy from "A Christmas Story") as a "cute kid" gimmick).

I do not think today's audience would like the pace or editing of this show. It was made for a time when the "Big 3" networks owned the audiences and comedy, with a few exceptions, was painted with a broad brush

O.C. and Stiggs (1985)

Awful disgrace

[1/10 · 10 November 2004]

What does O.C. stand for? In the vastly superior National Lampoon articles that ran from 1980 to 1984, it stood for "Out of Control" the nickname of the character William "O.C." Ogilvy. In the lame Altman film it stood for "Oliver Cromwell" Ogilvie.

That is the whole problem with this movie. It should have been out of control fun, but it ends up as a lame reference to social significance. Altman tries to take a tried and true formula of a wacky teen sex comedy (a valid, wonderful and meaningful genre of American Cinema, just like film noir) and violates it by bringing in bad actors, crappy cinematography, and, worst of all, some sort of message of what this aged and senile director thinks is the problems of youth in Reagan era America.

At least the previous NL effort, "Vacation" they had a good director (NL alumni Harold Ramis) satisfactory actors, and the story was fairly close to the original John Hughes piece. None of the actors here, (save Jon Cryer) are interesting, funny or even remotely close to the few characters brought over from the NL articles (they added other lame characters for no reason, such as OC's grandfather, wasting the talents of Ray Walston). Not even the amazing sounds of King Sunny Ade can save this film (they are only in this film for a five minute cameo). What I cannot understand is that by 1984 when this film was made (it was so bad it was quietly released three years later), why did NL not give this film to a reliable director such as Harold Ramis, John Landis, Amy Heckerling, or John Hughes?

All I can say is to look over the thirty some reviews of this movie and see how the lines are drawn. Those who loved this movie have never read (or had it read to them) the articles of OC & Stiggs that graced the pages of National Lampoon. Those who abhor this movie are those who can read and have enjoyed and lived their lives according to the gospel of OC & Stiggs as written in the brilliant National Lampoon articles.

If you want the story of OC & Stiggs, read the original articles, they're on the net and should be required reading in all schools, churches and drinking establishments. If you want to see a funny teen sex comedy, rent classics "American Pie," "Porky's" or "Private Resort." If you want to see and here King Sunny Ade and his infectious ju-ju sound, rent "Konkombe" or buy "Roots of Rhythm," you will not be sorry. However, stay away from O.C. & Stiggs, at all costs.

The First Turn-On!! (1983)

A Troma teen sex comedy

[10 September 2000]

One of Troma's first entries in the teen sex comedy genre, it is average at best. "The First Turn On!!" is about a bunch of idiot teen campers and a female counselor get stuck in a cave and "describe" their first sexual encounters.

This is a pretty subaverage fare for even Troma films. In the world of teenage sex romps it pales in comparison to recent films such as "American Pie" and "Road Trip."

There are some highlights in this film. This was a first film for Vincent D'Onofrio (Full Metal Jacket, Feeling Minnesota, Men in Black, Steal this Movie!) as a fat loser and a funny cameo by comedian and all-around nice guy Rondell Sheridan as a gang member.

The real gem of this movie is the sound track from the seminal new wave band "Shrapnel" featuring some of their best (and unreleased) stuff. Hearing the song "Sleep Over" and the goofy performances by Sheridan and D'Onofrio are worth giving this film a watch on cable or a $1.00 rental (but not much else).

Malcolm in the Middle (2000–2006)

Television's Equivalent of Fingernails on a Chalkboard

[10 June 2000]

In the blitzkrieg of advertising for this show sandwiched between "The Simpsons" and "The X Files" (where I contend 30 minutes of mold growing could pull a great rating) features some interesting words describing the show. I will assist in translating these words so you understand why others may like this lackluster show.

"Critically Acclaimed:" This means that critics will single this show out and tell you it is funny even though it isn't. Once in a while, critics will select annoying, badly written programs to make the public think they are soooo intelligent and have some great insight into the program. A perfect example is "Ned and Stacey." Case closed. Tom "what do you mean the buffet is closed" Shales praised this show because they made the Malcolm character a "genius." Could it be that the writers had limited abilities and only able to write adult lines to be shoved in a child's mouth? Good writing for child or teenage characters can be realistic without "dummying down" the tone. A good example is "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" and the "The Wonder Years." This crap comes nowhere near those two.

"Cutting Edge" Since when was cutting edge a synonym for "annoying?" Cutting edge means that this is new and innovative. "Malcolm in the Middle," at it's best is a rehash of another inventive Fox program called "Parker Lewis Can't Loose" (and Parker Lewis was just a television version of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off)! MITM featured many of the visual jokes of "Parker Lewis" right down to main character looking in the camera and narrating the story. Hardly new stuff.

"Funny and witty" This means that there are a bunch of stupid sight gags and gross-out jokes intermingled with Malcolm choking out some big words. In the four episodes I saw, I laughed once at a sight gag involving a "big bully nerd" at a science fair. I think I laughed mostly because I thought of the Francis Kubiac character from "Parker Lewis."

The end results is the televised equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard. That is too bad because the talents of Frankie Muniz (who manages to hold this crap together) are wasted in television when he could be making more good movies like "My Dog Skip."

By the way, I cannot see why everyone is fawning over Jane Kaczmarak who portrays Malcolm's mother. She is the pinnacle of annoying and has yet to relinquish any emotion for her character other than an overwelming urge to quickly turn the channel.

I am mad at Fox in that it found this show more important to put in the post-Simpsons timeslot. There are other better shows such as "Futurama," "King of the Hill," and "The PJs." I also think the three aforementioned shows are more deserving and life-like than "Malcolm in the Middle."

I am also mad that Fox thinks we are so dim that we will think this show is cutting edge, funny and witty. What is next for Fox, "the Y Files," "Ally McDeal?"

Being John Malkovich (1999)

A bit of a disappointment

[26 May 2000]

Good first attempt Spike Jonze at doing a sanitized Terry Gilliam movie that suffers from a bad Hollywood ending.

This film had so much potential in starting with a bizarre premise. Through the film it later studies the nature of artistic medium, the actor / director relationship, the depth of the human psyche and personal observation in relationships. However, by the end we are treated to a lame love story, a stupid Sci-Fi premise, and a Hollywood inside joke.

Great performances by John Cusak, Cameron Diaz, Orson Bean, John Malkovich, and Mary Kay Place, Why Diaz was overlooked for the average Catherine Keener is beyond me because Diaz really goes all out in this roll.

It is too bad that there is 10 minutes of ending that could have been left on the cutting room floor. Otherwise, this could have been a real classic if it had the courage to follow its story rather than pander to Hollywood.

Anarchy TV (1998)

An Absolutely Dreadful Film

[1/10 · 13 May 2000]

At the beginning of the "comedy," director Jonathan Blank tells us Anarchy TV was based on a "true story" of a group of anarchist who took over a public access station. When their propaganda fell on deaf ears they went to the extremes, included getting naked on television to get noticed. What follows is an absolutely dreadful film.

I have often complained that some hollywood studios, directors, producers, and even actors will throw way too much money to try to make a wacky or embarrassing political statement with a bad movie. Anarchy TV proves that one can make a wacky or embarrassing politcal statement on a smaller budget.

The film starts off with some funny occurances with a public access station where "Anarchy TV" is run by a bunch of rich white kids. A few great scenes involve another television show called "Eat Me!" (two teenage punx tell obnoxious callers where to go) and a brief appearance by George Wendt (Norm from "Cheers") as a goofy, aging, hippie leader.

From there, this movie goes into the toliet of self-righteousnous and conspiracy mongering. In Blank's version of events, the station is purchased by an "evil" Chirstian business man who happens to be the father of one of the kids as disapproves with Anarchy TV. The show's cast takes over station where a large conspiracy is uncovered about the religious right involving profits, racism, and murder. The message falls on the deaf ears of the public until members of the cast get naked. Then, like the calvary of old Western flicks, liberally-minded groups from the Pro-Choice movement to NORML appear to save the day by picketing the studio.

At the beginning, I thought this would be a harmless parody of public access television or grass roots politics. Being that this was to be an "independent" production (as in "independent from Hollywood") I thought it may also stay away from the radical leftist view of Hollywood and look at every thing from a new edge or original angle.

This film does not attempt any of that. It comes off as a sanitizingly politically correct Scooby Doo episode with the conservative Christian villain being shown up by a bunch of meddling, if not self-righteous, conspiracy mongering, naked rich white kids. Where is the originally or edge in that?

Although this is set up as a independent or low budget movie, this should not be an excuse for the silly performances in this movie. Alan Thicke plays the villian to cartoonish proportions as do the Zappa kids. In particular, Moon Unit Zappa's performance is soooooo superheroishly cheesy, she makes Wendy, Super Marvin and Wonderdog look like members of the Royal Shakespeare Society. And no, the Zappas do not get naked in this film. That honor is left to Jessica Hecht and Jonathan Penner. Both Penner, Hecht and the rest of the casts could have been protrayed by those cheap marionettes that can be purchased from street venders in Tiujuana, Mexico (except for the nude scenes).

After watching this film, I wonder why Blank made this bad peice of fiction instead of making a charmingly disjointed documentary on the true story from which Anarchy TV is based.

With each passing minute of Anarchy TV, I wondered where the real anarchists were, who they were, and what REALLY motivated them to do what they did. More importantly, were the real people ever contacted by Blank, and if they were, was their political view of the world different from Blank's politically correct vision of a film?

If Blank's aim was to villify or praise the anarchists and their assault on the airways, why not go to the real source instead of ruining the careers of so many actors. Why not give me the real story, with real people and real political motives instead of wasting 90 minutes of my life?

The Demons (1973)

More Jess Franco fun with demon nuns

[8/10 · 10 July 1999]

This Jess Franco (aka Clifford Brown) classic is a cross between Ken Russell's "The Devils" yet with all the bad photography and 70s softcore sex that make Franco's movies unique.

A stand out in this Franco film is this movie's odd soundtrack. The music has two styles; a heavily Spanish influenced guitar and flute instrumental that backs a majority of the movie and a ripping 70s rock soundtrack (a la Iggy and the Stoogies "Funhouse") during all of the sex scenes.

All amounted to the total Jess Franco experience. Although this was the English edit of the film, I would still name this as one of Franco's "better" works.

Female Vampire (1973)

Classic Franco Soft-core Vampyres

[9/10 · 16 June 1999]

The "story" (for lack of a better term) is about some Countess who allegedly has a vampire family curse. In reality, the story is about Lina Romay as a vampire who sucks, among other things, the life out of her victims. This includes doing everyone in the movie, including one lucky bed post.

This is a classic Franco/Romay production. "Avaleuses" stands out because Franco casts Romay as a mute, probably so she doesn't have to act. Her seductive yet menacing appearance is enticing, and may have been the inspiration for the galactic vampire in "Lifeforce."

Nevertheless, "Les Avaleuses" is a classic for the porn lover's library. It goes nicely between "Behind the Green Door" and "Lady Chatterly's Lover."

No Soap, Radio (1982– )

An American Monty Python?

[7 June 1999]

Although this comedy only lasted a season it was probably one of American television's best attempts in creating a Monty Python type sketch comedy program.

The show was led by a young Steve Guttenberg (YES, the Steve Guttenberg who later starred in all those dreary police academy films) and a small band of Hollywood character actors. The basis of each show revolved VERY loosely on the events at a hotel in which Guttenberg worked.

NSR was not afraid to completely wander from the show's premise as with Monty Python's Flying Circus. This show would go into movie parodies or other skits completely unrelated to the main story. Like some of the best Python episodes, NSR would eventually find its way back to close its story before the episode was over.

One of the unrelated events would be a stunt by Bob "Super Dave Osborne" Einstien. The NSR skits were probably some of his best stuff (when Super Dave is limited to a few minutes, is can be quite funny), especially his most dangerous stunt of cursing at the late New York Yankees hotheaded manager, Billy Martin.

The show had some great continuing gags. One involved a reoccurring sight gag in a "Break in Case of Fire" box (more like a booth). Each week one would see everything from a live fireman to a boy scout (rubbing two sticks together) encaged in the glass booth.

NSR was a part of ABC's "Two Hours of Comedy Power' for the 1982 year. In the Tuesday night line up started with the show "Bossom Buddies" with the talented Peter Scolari and some guy named Tom Hanks (whatever happened to this guy?), No Soap Radio, and the series "Police Squad" with Leslie Nelson (which spawned three movies of the same name). The evening would end with "Mork and Mindy" in which the great Jonathan Winters joined the series in the 1981-1982 year as Mork's (Robin Williams) son, Mearth.

Considering what became of the shows and its stars, I would love to see ABC or even Comedy Central show these two hours as they originally appeared 20 years ago. All have pretty much appeared in syndication except NSR. It is about time that the most daring show of the series gets credit for attempting to be creative.

The PJs (1999–2001)

Best urban humor in a long time

[1 April 1999]

Interesting combination of claymation and unapologetic urban humor a la "In Living Color." A great combination to Fox's clever line-up of "The Simpsons," "King of the Hill," and "Furturama."

Ally McBeal (1997–2002)

45 Pounds of Feminism

[1 April 1999]

For some reason, people watch this show and feel compelled to force me to watch it as if it was something original. Frankly I like this show better when it was called "James at 15."

Men watch it because their wives and girlfriends make them watch it (and sometimes for the hot female costars).

Women watch it because they feel that Ally, a woman that makes Kate Moss look like a sumo wrestler, graduated from Harvard School of Law, works at a premier high-priced law firm, has scores of attractive friends and always has the right thing to say, reflects "every woman's" life.

Yeah right.

Where is Lara Croft when I need her?

Family Guy (1999– )

Crappy Remake of the Simpsons

[15 March 1999]

I thought that the worst rip off of "The Simpsons" was the pathetic "South Park," but now I stand corrected.

"Family Guy" features the life of a senseless and dimwitted Homer Simpson clone Peter Griffin. He has a less charming wife and three children. The only difference with "Family Guy" is charming Maggie is replaced with "The Brain" from "Pinky and the Brain" in infantile (and much less amusing) form as well as a talking dog name Brian who helps introduce potty humor.

The jokes in "Family Guy" are either unfunny concepts or leftovers from "The Simpsons." If you have seen at least any 10 Simpson episodes, I will then bet that you have or will have seen every episode of "Family Guy."

The only redeeming factor of "Family Guy" is that when it is not ripping off "The Simpsons" it at least tries (albeit unsuccessfully) to use some original humor, unlike the "South Park" solution of throwing in bad language and potty humor in the mix when the story runs thin.

What I cannot understand is someone like show creator, Peter Shin, a man who worked on the wonderful "Freakazoid," could turn out such a marginally funny program. What is even more amazing is why Fox has even bothered to pick this Simpsons rip-off over existing and commercially successful cartoons such as "South Park" or "Celebrity Death Match" reviving a quality cartoon such as "The Critic" or "The Tick."

Louie Bluie (1985)

The Blues never felt so good...

[10/10 · 28 December 1998]

Simply put, "Louie Bluie" is one of the best usages of film ever.

This movie is introduced by director Terry Zwigoff ("Crumb") as a search for 1930s bluesman Howard "Louie Bluie" Armstrong and the style of music known as "string-blues. However, it rapidly evolves into more than the average documentary on music.

Much of the credit has to go to Armstrong. As a 75-year-old mandolin and violin virtuoso, painter, poet, and all-around hellraiser, Armstrong bursts onto the screen as a celebration of life itself. The stories told by him and his musican friends would bury any manufactured Hollywood script.

Credit also goes to Zwigoff who allows himself to be second to his main character and the stories he tells. His filming is effortless so the view feels incredibly close to the characters and the subject at hand. Furthermore, the director is able to involve issues such as racism and discriminary practices of the past without being overbearing or losing the upbeat nature of the film.

Zwigoff is well-rewarded for his efforts. Not only do we learn about the world of string-blues, but we also discover that the African-American based string-blues (which we get ample helpings) was highly influencial on country music. Even more fascinating is Armstrong's discussion with fellow musician Ted "Dark Gable" Bogan on how black musicians would avoid 1930s racism by learning the languages of immigrant groups.

I cannot say enough of this film other than that I only wish that Hollywood could find more characters as interesting and witty Howard Armstrong and more caring directors like Terry Zwigoff. If only more films, documentary or otherwise, could be like "Louie Bluie"...

Very Bad Things (1998)

The cutting edge is dull ...

[1/10 · 6 December 1998]

This film should be retitled "Very Dull Things" because it is boring and doesn't offer anything new. Billed as a "black comedy" it is about as funny as watching frat boys get drunk on Jaegermeister about as shocking as watching drunk frat boys puke Jaegermeister and wet Nachos.

I saw much of this before in such cutting edge shockers as the 1989 film "The Cook, the Thief, his Wife and Her Lover." I hated that film when I first saw it, but when compared to VBT, "The Cook" looks like Citizen Kane. At least "The Cook" had a plausible story, amazing visuals, and Ian Dury getting stabbed in his face with a dinner fork.

VBT is shocking, but mainstream shocking. A hooker dies and they cut her body up. So what? Christian Slater then puts on his Jack Nicklson impression. Boy, THAT's original!

I guess this is a "black comedy" for the "South Park" generation. Nothing too imaginative or creative, just place some swearing and gross situations to cover the mediocre. And who is to know? Not the mediocre audience who flocks toward this crap!

Brain Donors (1992)

What Groucho couldn't get away with...

[9/10 · 6 December 1998]

Brain Donors is one of the Zucker brother's best kept secrets. Featuring a great cast, this film pays tribute to the Marx and Ritz brothers and slides in a few jokes that Groucho couldn't get away with.

This movie contains about 20 good laughs per minute and a finale that rivals "A Night at the Opera" in hilarity. Anyone that doesn't hurt from laughing at the end of this film is either cold-hearted or clinically brain dead.

Prospero's Books (1991)

A tempting view of The Tempest

[10/10 · 6 December 1998]

Imagine if William Shakespeare, Leonardi DaVinci, Sigmond Freud, and Jean Luc Goddard all met in a dark alley, got drunk together, and made a film. If you could image the result, you would then get an idea of what this movie is about.

Told with the help multiple on-screen images and the strength of Sir John Guilgud narration and acting skills, Greenaway brings a new face to Shakespeare's "The Tempest." This film is innovative, sensual, and challenging as Shakespeare intended.

I would warn that this film sparks a cast of about 100+ naked people. Although it is nudity used in the best taste possible, this is not a film to be showing to the High School English class.

The Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey (1988)

An amazing Sci-Fi adventure

[9/10 · 6 December 1998]

No, this is not the silly Disney movie in which the fat kid rides around in a spaceship shaped like a big green booger and generally annoys all forms of alien life to the tune of a bad Robert Palmer cover of a Little Richard song.

This Navigator, "The Navigator: A Mediaeval Odyssey" is a sad, yet compelling story of time-travelers from the Middle Ages trying to save their small village from the Black Death. In this movie, the view is treated to how the modern world would appear as heaven (or even hell) to a person from Mediaeval times soley through the use of visuals.

This film was the creation of master director Vincent Ward who has made such wonderful works as "What Dreams May Come" and "Map of the Human Heart." As with all of his movies, Ward treats us to an array of stunning uses of color and texture to enhance a grand story.

The Navigator only suffers having a bland name. Watch this film at least twice, once for the mind blowing story, the other for Ward's rich film work. This film is sure to become a Sci-Fi classic.

Caddyshack II (1988)

When does the hurting stop?

[1/10 · 6 December 1998]

In this dreadful follow-up, Jackie Mason stars in the role that was custom-made for Rodney Dangerfield. Unfortunately, Mason is no Dangerfield. Also missing from this poor excuse for a sequel are jokes, a plausible story, and (most important) Bill Murray. Chevy Chase does make a few appearances that surprisingly ease the hurting, but his contribution is nowhere near enough to save this death camp of a film.

Paper Lion (1968)

When football was football....

[8/10 · 6 December 1998]

This is a competent film version of reporter George Plimpton's ill-fated attempt to be a NFL quarterback. Although Alan Alda does a good job as Plimpton, the real joy of this film is in the way it unintentionally documents the sense of community shared among the teammates (many of those used in this film were actual football players, including Alex Karras of "Webster" fame) before money, egos, and greed corrupted the sport.