Change Your Image
XFile
Reviews
Falcone (2000)
The Sopranos it's not....
Trying to hard and mis-casted come to mind here. There isn't a wise guy in the bunch. No one in the cast is truly comfortable in the skin of a wise guy. They all come off like wanna-be types or like how you'd expect a cop might act trying to infiltrate the mob. The dialogue is snippets from "Good Fellas" and "The Sopranos".
Stuart Little (1999)
Nice frame...lousy picture.
If not for the overwhelmingly great special effects (undoubtedly the best put forth in a film of this genre to date) this movie would have died a quick death. The best actors in this flick were the ones you never see ie. the "voices". MJ Fox, Nathan Lane, Chaz Palminteri, Bruno Kirby...ALL did a great job. The ones you DO get see are...well....lame. The Littles were the most unbelievable couple ever. I know this was a fantasy and all that but they could have at least acknowledge Stuart was a mouse from the get-go. Too weird for me. The kids didn't seem to impressed either. When the kids stop talking about the movie before we get 50 yards from the theater I know it was a real tanker. We should have waited for the video. We could NOT buy that just as easily as we could have skipped this lame-o flick.
Arlington Road (1999)
UN-conspiracy theory???
I'm not going to beat the whole movie to death in a blow by blow recap. I was most intrigued by the premise that what we actually have afoot here in the states is monstrously complex and intricately worked out methods of terrorism that involve huge groups whose main purpose, beyond the occasional bombing or assassination, is having the finger pointed at ONE man or woman. Lee Harvey Oswald, Sirhan Sirhan, Mark David Chapman, Ted Kasinsky?? Scapegoats? Set up to take the fall? That's what the movie suggests. Interesting. Very interesting.
Le Cinquième Élément (1997)
A moment of clarity of you will.....
Lets first remember for a second, if you will, the premise behind the flick. A cab driver, through a set of fortuituos circumstances, becomes entrusted with the fate of the earth some time in the distant future. Gee...hopefully no one drifts too far off the reality path with this one eh? Come on...the movies a sci-fi flick....realism and things making sense are not supposed to abound. Taken for what it is this is a fun flick. It moves, never really drags, has some yucks..some minor league gore..some eye candy....all fairly well spread out over it's entirety. On the one to ten scale I'll toss in a 7.5
Time Chasers (1994)
Carpe diem, carpe nocturn,carpe the loser who made this rag.
The best part of this movie isn't actually the end because even that involves SOME footage. The best part of this movie is just KNOWING that there IS an end...and that it can't go on ad infinitum.
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Ok,ok...I'll say it! This movie bites!
Well...beyond the pathetically weak plot line, (Bruce must have racked up the frequent flier miles on this one), and the acting ,which can probably best be described as hopeless, this final installment of the seemingly never ending hi-jinx of that wascally great white is a living testimonial to something or other. I can't quite put my finger on it but this movie has got to have some sort of a message.. I mean it can't be that freakin' bad...or can it?
DEFCON-4 (1985)
We ALL have skeletons in our closets....
...and mine would be the fact that I actually not only have seen this a few times...but OWN it. Yes...yes...there..it's out. Now you all know. Anyway...this post apocalyptic cluster such and such is loosely based on a true story. As the story goes a band of brain dead nuclear biologists from the year 2000 and something were telling a joke to a person from another time zone or something. It was like...there once was a nuclear biologist from Nantucket...he thought there might be money in mining stuff...or something... At any rate there apparently was a fly in that ointment. Since it made perfect sense to blah,blah, blah....ya-da,ya-da,ya-da....