Locdog07 Reviews

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Brilliant and much more than meets the eye

[10/10 · 27 October 1999]

A lot of people who do badmouth this film haven't done any real research into the movie's background. It's just not enough to watch the movie in a theather and blocking your mind off from whatever happens on the screen so you can walk out and say "That wasn't scary". The whole point of the film is to be scared, it's a horror, so why not let it happen? A lot of these people might have actually been scared but not realized it. But I'm speculating.

The film itself is incredible, a work of genius. It's inspired so many people to argue and debate over what actually happened to these three students, even though by now we all know it was fake. Those people who say "It's dumb cause it wasn't real", are they actually saying they wanted to see three students hunted down a probably murdered? So much effort went into making this film possible, some of which even came from the fans themself before the film was even released. I've done a lot of research into the film's background and secrets that I can't help but love it, and there are so many people who limit themselves to simply watching the film with a stone mind and not letting any of the imagination the movie creates seep into their brain.

My second favorite film of all time, it will always be a classic to me. Ten out of ten.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Brilliant Installment

[10/10 · 17 July 1999]

I went to see this film after having been told by many other viewers of the film that either the movie is amazing, or totally the opposite. I knew exactly what was to happen, having read the book, seen spoiler after spoiler on the internet, and basically having been told by other fans. Therefore, I expected to be disappointed. I was not.

Special effects wise, the movie couldn't have been better. I think the pod race and the light-saber duel at the end will go down in history as some of the greatest moments in history. The acting, apart from maybe Jake Lloyd (Who I can forgive), was better than I had expected since Lucas hasn't directed for over 20 years. Neeson was brilliant, and McGregor portrayed Kenobi better than most other actors could have. Portman was really great, and I can see her going on to do much in her career no matter what she chooses to pursue. But perhaps my favorite performance in the movie had to be Ian McDiarmid as Senator Palpatine.

A very dazzling, wonderful installment to the Star Wars saga, I give it a 10 out of 10.

Gunsmith Cats (1995–1996)

A disappointment

[8/10 · 20 March 1999]

Well, I was looking forward to seeing this seeing as I enjoyed the Manga comic strips very much so, but after seeing the Anime version I was deeply disappointed. There is a total lack of realism for one. The seemingly massive explosions that are set off many a time only seem to slightly knock the wind out of people who are standing a few metres away. I was upset that they only managed to do each part for half an hour. If the plot had been deeper and longer, I'm sure that maybe it would have been more enjoyable, but unfortunately it seemed very unfulfilling when it ended. Still, I guess it had its moments....the animation wasn't awful, and the backgrounds were very well drawn.

Lost in Space (1998)

Too much FX, too little anything else

[1/10 · 13 December 1998]

Perhaps the only reason I went to see this movie was the fact that it was rumored to have amazing special effects. Sure, that's true. But the rest of the movie was awful.

Matt LeBlanc proves once again that he cannot play any part other than Joey from Friends well. He acts out his character with extreme stupidity, and when he tries to look like he's thinking or doing something intellectual, he merely squints his eyes.

A lot of the things that happens in the movie have no point. For example, on the ship they come across, they find a small yellow alien creature. It's cute, yeah, but it doesn't do anything! It sticks around for the rest of the movie just sitting there and making dumb noises.

The greatest problem was that they spent far too much time on the special effects and less time on finding good actors or good plot. The ending is perhaps the most awful ending I've seen, and the whole movie was overall a big disappointment. If you do see this movie, make sure you're not actually paying to see it.

South Park (1997– )

Now you see it, now you don't

[15 November 1998]

The show is basically about four kids walking around getting into trouble, bad mouthing people and racial groups as they go along. It's a comedy, although I seem to be one of those people who can sit through a whole episode without even smirking, it's just not that funny!

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have really gone too far. This is perhaps the most annoying show I've personally ever seen. It's badly done, and most of the jokes aren't even that funny. For example, Chef's songs are funny for the first few times, then they kind of get boring, and they they get bad-bad-bad! Isaac Hayes is a very talented man, a great person! Unfortunately, now he's only going to be remembered for this cartoon! People won't think of him when they hear Shaft, they'll think of a badly drawn chef! It's upsetting to think about.

I can't see South Park will still be going after the year 2000. After they've made the movie, people will look at it and think "What was I doing? This is getting boring!" just like how people did with the Spice Girls!

How many times can you kill Kenny? I mean, how many different ways is there to kill someone? It's gonna get dull, seeing this kid get sliced up every episode. I'm not going to say South Park will die tomorrow, but one day we will turn our backs and say "To hell with you!", and that'll be it for South Park.

All in all, I'd say it's originality will eventually fade, but for now we're pretty much stuck with it. Good luck, Matt and Trey, you're gonna have to move on sooner or later!

Friends (1994–2004)

Friends, Friends, Friends...shut up already!

[22 October 1998]

When this sitcom came out, it was original! It was funny! Oh, what a great show it WAS! But now, the writers have lost their grasp on the whole idea of originality. It seems the same kind of thing happens every episode! For example, there was hardly a single episode in the first season when Ross didn't mention his wife being a lesbian, which quickly got boring. Janice's character got so out of control, and when she was brought back we were very lucky that the writers decided to get rid of her very quickly.

Then, there's the much hyped London episode. How could anyone be so disappointed as me, a British person, when he finds that all the hype, plus the fact that many respected British actors were featuring, all this was for nothing! The episode had no funny parts, it was like the writers sat down, thought of a small plot, thought of the ending, and just sat down and wrote a boring, repetitive episode that started boring and ended boring!

All I'm saying, and I know a lot of people disagree with me, but a lot of people agree too, is that the show should stop while it's "ahead". The show should have stopped after season three, when it still had a molecule of dignity about it....sorry fans of Friends, but this show is toast!

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999)

One of the greatest achievements of man

[13 October 1998]

First of all, there has never been a show like this before. It's sheer quality is stunning, the humour is intelligent and hilarious, and all this adds up to produce one of the greatest shows mankind will perhaps ever see.

Right now it's on the Sci-Fi Channel, having moved from Comedy Central, and is doing very well for itself, if you ask me. It deserves every ounce of praise that it receives.

The show is about a guy, named Mike Nelson, who is stuck up in space with his robot companions, and they have to endure bad movie after bad movie. That's all that you have to know to get started. The whole plot is confusing if I try to get you up to speed in the next few lines, but trust me, this is a show you cannot afford to miss.

On an ending note, I'm one of the few (VERY few) British people who love the show more than any other show on TV. There are many others who like the show a lot, but no English person has really had the chance, it's not advertised much over here and so many people miss out on this classic piece of viewing.

Basically, if you ever get the chance, watch this and you'll love it!

Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961)

Owch! This movie hurts!

[1/10 · 13 October 1998]

When I watched this movie, luckily I did not watch it of my own free will. I was watching it on another TV show that watches bad movies, but the point is this movie is awful.

First off, you have the aliens, the so called "Neptune Men" who are the bad guys. They have no motive for attacking, which seems to be what many movies about aliens lack in today's world. If you're gonna attack a planet, at least attack it for a good reason!

Second, you have the hero, "Space Chief", who flies around and doesn't do much except look out for these five kids who have extremely annoying voices and characters. None of the characters in this movie seem to even have been looked to, no trace of an attempt to develop or sustain any of them.

One highly disturbing part of the movie is when the aliens come down to Earth dressed as Japanese soldiers with women's make-up on....

Well, I'll leave you to work out the rest, but basically, if you're gonna watch this, don't pay for it, make a friend pay then watch it, and suffer the consequences.