J. Ryan Reviews

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

By the numbers; waste of Chris Pratt; no better than Transformers sequels

[2/10 · 4 August 2018]

Why does this franchise still exist? Chris Pratt is ok, but he's not really given much to do here. Bryce Dallas Howard, who I'm sure is capable of so much more, does even less. Her perfunctory role could have been played by any other actress. Everyone else is just a stock character. They're so one-dimensional, they would disappear if you looked sideways at them.

The first half is by the numbers, but somewhat enjoyable. The second half, once off the island, turns into a B-movie horror with a super FX budget. One by one, the stock villains get dispatched, in really not that creative ways. And Jeff Goldblum, (sigh) ... is reduced to a preachy cameo.

Take the original Spielberg film, strip away any soul, humanity, and subtlety, and you get Fallen Kingdom. Save your money.

Batman and Harley Quinn (2017)

Utterly tonally inconsistent

[4/10 · 25 August 2017]

I echo everyone else's comments here. Voice talents aren't the problem. Conroy, Lester, even Melissa Rauch were fine in their roles. The writing was just tonally inconsistent. Fart jokes? Singing? After some bloody death scenes? AND what was up with that very, very awkward sex scene? It was like a porn parody.

Hard to believe this was a Bruce Timm project.

And the ending ... or rather lack thereof. You may not like it, but you may like the end credits scene even less. #NotMyBatmanAnimatedSeries

Hannibal (2013–2015)

Anyone else miss William Petersen's Manhunter?

[6/10 · 25 April 2013]

Hannibal isn't bad. Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelsen are both very competent in their respective roles. My issue is more with the re-imagining of Special Agent Will Graham. Petersen's portrayal back in 1986's Manhunter (directed by the always awesome Michael Mann) was nothing short of groundbreaking. His Will Graham teetered on the verge of going too deep into the mind of psychopaths, yet was still resolute in his determination to stop these madmen. Manhunter was so good that Ed Norton's Red Dragon, while competent, felt completely redundant. Dancy's Graham is far more ... sensitive, almost equivocating. It's not necessarily bad, but different enough that I can't quite get my arms around this. It's OK, but not sure I can say it's a must-see.

Margin Call (2011)

Fantastic film, but not for everyone.

[9/10 · 23 October 2011]

It's difficult to review Margin Call. Those of us who were close to the events of 2008 will find something personal in the story-telling. Others may see it as more examples of greed and hubris. In any case, the following observations apply to both groups.

The performances are top notch. Everyone from Zachary Quinto to Demi Moore brings their A-game. Even supporting characters are oddly fleshed out for a film with such an ensemble cast. Kevin Spacey and Paul Bettany give the performances of their careers, I think. Only the Jeremy Irons character (John Tuld, aka Dick Fuld) feels a bit over the top, while the rest are truly believable well-rounded depictions.

Despite having good characters and amazing cinematography, the film lacks plot. The backdrop and setting are tense, but this doesn't feel like a "movie" in the traditional sense. There's no evolution of characters, no arcs, and the ending may leave some wanting. You can compare it to Michael Mann films where plot and pace are unconventional.

Not sure how the film will perform commercially, given the material is esoteric. If you're a film buff (and enjoy great performances) or you've been in finance, this is a must-see. Other may likely pass.

Tron: Legacy (2010)

A Mediocre Video Game with Uneven Cutscenes

[7/10 · 2 March 2011]

The whole movie feels like a video game, but only a mediocre one.

There is some good action with semblances of an engaging story that falls apart partway. I would have wanted CLU, the main antagonist, be more 3-dimensional, which they hinted at but ruined with a Leni Riefenstahl Star Wars moment. Michael Sheen's Liberace bartender should have also been re-imagined since it didn't fit with the overall mood of the story. Jeff Bridge's Kevin Flynn is great when he deals with estranged father-son issues both towards Sam Flynn and CLU, but then misfires when he channels zen monk-like traits from the Dude.

I thoroughly enjoyed the first 45 min. The film had me right until the end of the light cycle chase. Then the script popped an Ambien for the next 40 min before lumbering towards an adequate conclusion.

Visually, Tron Legacy is definitely worth a look, if for no reason than to give yourself ideas for when you open a techno dance club. Nonetheless, stunning visuals and good intermittent action does not compensate for a lackluster script.

Fairly Legal (2011–2012)

After Episode, 2, Still Looking for its Rhythm

[6/10 · 31 January 2011]

Sarah Shahi is instantly likable. She's attractive, intelligent, and kind-hearted. She seeks insight by talking to her deceased father's urn and champions to exonerate an Ivy League-bound teenager from being an accessory to a felony. There's a lot to like about Fairly Legal. Unfortunately, the tone of the series is still uneven.

I'm quickly reminded of Ally McBeal. From the innocent future Ivy Leaguer to the wrongfully-imprisoned man, cases in Fairly Legal are inherently intriguing. These manage to tug all the right heartstrings, without seeming trite.

Also, of particular note is Michael Trucco, who has developed nicely as an actor from his Pensacola: Wings of Gold days (a guilty pleasure, and yes, I've watched too much TV). He plays an amicable and well-meaning Assistant District Attorney and ex-husband of Shahi's character. Trucco here represents a healthy but sincere dose of pragmatism next to Shahi's lofty idealism.

However, there is some lazy expository writing that is consistently off- putting. Early in the pilot, we see Shahi foil the robbery of a convenience store by "mediating" with the assailant and the store clerk. The point of the scene is to display Shahi's amazing powers of arbitration. A similar moment occurs in the second episode where Shahi brokers a ridiculous peace between a cab driver and a bike rider. Both moments drag on way too long at the expense of believability.

As it stands, Fairly Legal is very watchable. Shahi (am I the only that thinks she looks a bit like J-Lo?) is a fun and quirky do-gooder. With some improvements, the show may be able to find its sea legs in the coming episodes.

Conviction (II) (2010)

Solid performances, poignant real-life story, but average movie.

[6/10 · 21 January 2011]

Difficult to write anything negative about such an triumphant story. The New York Times ran an touching article October last year regarding the real-life story of Betty Anne Waters, a single-mom who put herself through college and law school to exonerate her brother. Much has also been said about the incredible performances of Hillary Swank and Sam Rockwell, but supporting roles from Minnie Driver and Melissa Leo (I'm glad she's getting recognition since Homicide Life on the Street) are no less vibrant. So why the average rating?

The level of drama does not rise above Hallmark Made-for-TV movies. The plot, story pacing, and overall tone of the film are very one- dimensional. There are too few moments where we see these characters interact on any level that's not (melo)dramatic. My favorites scene involves Minnie Driver and Hillary Swank shopping for groceries. It's the only time these characters feel real.

I keep thinking Conviction has the premise of a David E. Kelley TV series, where the Kenny-theme could serve as a season long arc. The characters are interesting enough, but I was hoping for so much more. Conviction is by no means a bad film, but it's not a very good one either.

Salt (2010)

Some potential, but mostly disappointing.

[5/10 · 15 January 2011]

I'm writing a belated review now only because I'm watching a BluRay version of a better film in the same genre, Tony Scott's Spy Game, and am reminded of how incredible the latter is while Angelina's vehicle here is a muddled mess.

After a 3 min opening sequence where we are introduced to a promising Angelina in a prisoner exchange (sure the director is using torture as a cheap method to create character depth, but that doesn't mean it can't work), the plot flies off the rails. Nonstop action alone does not create people we empathize/sympathize with, unless you're watching a WWE production. If you don't totally lack situational awareness, you should see the convoluted twist ending coming a mile away.

Jolie is capable of more, and with these production values I put the blame on the script writers and director. I can't help but think this should have been placed in the hands of Tony Scott. If you want to see a top notch spy film (possibly one of the best ever), go watch Spy Game with Jolie's better half. As for Salt, you can take a pass.

Law & Order: UK (2009–2014)

It's okay, but do we really need another L&O spin off?

[6/10 · 3 March 2009]

When the original Law and Order came out some 20 years ago, it was fresh, tough, gritty, and immensely entertaining. I remember watching it through college thinking it would inspire me to apply to law school and eventually become the next Ben Stone (Michael Moriarty was THE MAN when it comes to executive ADAs).

Personally, I think 20 years is too long a time for any series to run. Add a few diluted spin offs (L&O: SVU, L&O: Criminal Intent, L&O: Equestrian Unit, L&O: Truancy Unit) and the series starts to taste like water-down fountain soda. Still, it's a New York staple so I've grown used to seeing L&O production crews shooting around the City.

Which makes L&O: UK, just … weird. At first, it feels like a British parody, right down to the "doink, doink" sounds between scenes but with the odd London cockney accent. After a few minutes, you start to pick up the familiar L&O feel, the shaky cam, no nonsense dialogue – it's the police procedural show you've come to love, except it's in London. The cast is very competent. Having lived in London at one point, I can say that Jamie Bamber, Bradley Walsh, Freema Agyeman et al. successfully deliver the L&O brand across the pond.

There is nothing wrong with the show, except I have to question the reason for its existence. All L&O shows are exported to Europe, with the standard 1 year delay. I know Londoners have seen our original L&O. So does a local London flavored variation add anything new to the mix?

Revolutionary Road (2008)

Sam Mendes Hates American Suburbs

[5/10 · 28 December 2008]

The New York Times called this "pessimism without redemption" -- that's pretty accurate. Despite strong performances by DiCaprio and Winslet, the film never exceeds a relentless hammering of the banal American suburban existence by Sam Mendes. Within 5 minutes, we see an all-too-real-feeling argument between our lead couple over the realization that Winslet's character is just not a talented actress. From there, we are subjected to a near 2 hours of the worst moments of couples therapy. The problem with Revolutionary Road is shared by both the source material (Richard Yates' novel) as well as the direction. Mendes' earlier treatise on suburban existence - American Beauty - worked because of the self-deprecating humor of Kevin Spacey. Here, there's no humor, just multiple layers of misery. It doesn't help that a little careful scrutiny of that misery uncovers how trivial the couples problems really are (the couple wants to move to Paris because they are in a rut living in the NY metro area. Funny how no one asks, "Why not get another job?"). In the end, R^2 is really a mediocre stage play filled with misplaced angst. Without any real drama (or perhaps too much of it), I really left the theater asking myself "who cares?"

Seven Pounds (2008)

Very Much a One-Note Feel Good Film.

[6/10 · 18 December 2008]

I got a chance to see the screening as well. I liked it, but didn't love it (even though I really wanted to).

1. Will Smith's performance was great, but not enough to overcome a weaker than expected script. It's a rare case when I don't fault him for basically conveying a one-note character. Aside from the incredible pain Ben carries, I don't think we really know much else about him. Nonetheless, solid performance by Will, but I'm not certain it's quite Oscar-worthy that many have implied.

2. Very weak script. Really hinges on the "secret" factor that many in the audience figured out about 25 min into the film. Unfortunately, once you figure out the secret, rest of the film moves VERY SLOWLY. The "ah-hah!" type films are very difficult to pull off because it is really uni-dimensional.

3. Love interest between him and Rosario Dawson just didn't seem to fit in the context of what Ben was trying to achieve. His actions also come across as being a little stalker-ish.

4. Some supporting characters are VERY under-used. Michael Ealy, Woody Harrelson, and Barry Pepper are thoroughly wasted in what amounts to cameo appearances. We've all seen these guys do so much more than the protracted moping that they're relegated to here. Again, I return to the weakness of the script for under-developing their characters.

I didn't hate the film, just thought it could have been better. For me, a solid 6/10, or a "Matinee." For an even better Will Smith performance, I suggest Six Degrees of Separation.

Eagle Eye (2008)

Heavy-handed pap. You've seen this done better in Enemy of the State.

[5/10 · 3 December 2008]

The first 5 minutes of this film was awesome. We witness a Special Forces/CIA elimination of a suspected terrorist. All the cool bells and whistles are there, UAVs, US Army, important conversations between SecDef and the President. Very well done, and I was left anxious for more.

The problem with Eagle Eye lies not in way it was made, but in the ridiculous script. All the ingredients of a good film are there, but the Big Brother / anti-Patriot Act message was handled with all the subtlety of a mack truck. When the primary villain and conspiracy is revealed at the 1 hour mark, I literally groaned aloud. A pure waste of money and talent. Shia, Michelle, and especially Billy Bob Thornton give competent performances, but the story is just ... dumb! For a similar film, please check out Will Smith and Gene Hackman in Enemy of the State. Though made pre-9/11, it deals with some of the same issues as Eagle Eye, except it's MUCH MORE intelligent and entertaining.

W. (I) (2008)

A Failed Attempt at Character Analysis

[2/10 · 20 October 2008]

Many Americans feel betrayed by the present Administration. Many feel as though someone had made them a list of promises and has failed to deliver. Regardless of what I think has/has not happened to this country in the last 8 years, I'm confining what I'm about to say to the movie specifically.

Stone's film isn't art, it's a failed attempt at character analysis. Stone's thesis that W. is primarily driven by Freudian forces is ultimately shallow, not to mention silly. He's made a contemporary movie about the Bush family without ever sitting down and spending time with the Bush's (Given the President is busy, but how about Jeb, Bush Sr., Barbara etc. etc.)?

In addition, many of Stone's character depictions are one dimensional. Dick Cheney may be a dark figure who views Islamic extremism the way George Kennan viewed Communism, but Oliver Stone made him out to be Dr. Strangelove. The whole Richard Dreyfuss MidEast speech about "we stay forever" is geopolitics written by idiots -- it's Stone's personal (and unsourced) critique of the Bush Administration writ large. Condoleezza Rice, whether you like her or not, whether you agree with her or not, is intelligent and articulate. She has been called upon to serve 3 US Presidents (Bush Sr., Clinton, and Bush Jr.). She was a professor of Political Science at Stanford, and on top of it all, she is even an accomplished concert pianist. Stone reduced her to a sycophantic Steve Urkel impression.

It behooves us as a citizens, especially in trying times, to analyze our elected officials with scrutiny and intelligence. This is where Stone ultimately fails. In a misguided effort to make W. into a Greek tragedy, Stone has trivialized the real issues this nation currently faces. It's bad politics and worse drama, but I don't think Stone's made a left wing hit piece here. The film is about as much of a "retelling" of the Bush Presidency as a Chuck Norris film is a retelling of the Vietnam War.

Superman Returns (2006)

Singer is all over the place.

[6/10 · 28 June 2006]

Don't think I'll be adding anything new with my comments, but unfortunately, I belong to the camp that was disappointed. While SR is by no means a bad film, it certainly wasn't as good as it could have been. Singer is all over the place with his themes. Simultaneously, he's trying to pay homage to Donner and Action Comics while also alluding to a greater myth. It's doable, but Superman's humanity is somehow lost amidst an over-worked love story. Routh, who actually does a decent job inheriting Reeve's mantle, spends most of the film moping. Spacey wasn't as bad as I had thought, but he's given barely a page of dialogue and his Lex Luthor never emerges beyond a uni-dimensional foil. Again, this is not a bad film, but with $250mm they could have made an amazing film. Singer does demonstrate the ability to create amazing scenes (the airplane scene, the Atlas scene where Supes catches the Daily Planet globe, the Messianic fall of Supes back to Earth), but let's hope the next venture is better.

NetForce (1999 TV Movie)

Horrible, truly horrible

[1/10 · 11 May 2005]

Though lacking in character development, Tom Clancy novels are superb for their plot intricacies and fervent attention to detail. The Hunt for Red October -- the best film adaptation of the Jack Ryan series thus far -- still stands as my favorite film of all time.

Like any writer sensing opportunity, Clancy decided to franchise his name to such series as Op Center and Net Force. Op Center was actually a surprisingly "OK" TV mini-series, thanks to the efforts of Harry Hamlin and Lindsay Frost. Net Force, however, is a total disaster.

It's difficult even to establish blame. While the notion of an Internet investigations division of the FBI sounds appealing (isn't the Secret Service in fact charged with this responsibility?), everything in Op Center is ludicrous. The sophomoric romantic storyline of Bakula and Going, the uber Bill Gates villain played by Judge Reinhold, and the Kris Kristofferson (Can you believe he was in fact a Rhodes Scholar and former Army pilot??) dead mentor with a secret -- all of this just defies conventional wisdom or reality.

Without belaboring the point, Net Force is just plain not entertaining.

Shark Tale (2004)

Processed Family Fun

[6/10 · 17 October 2004]

Shark's Tale has it's moments, but in the end it just feels processed. Finding Nemo, Monster's Inc., and Ice Age have all managed to transcend computer generated animation boards due to the humanity of their anthropomorphic characters. With the exception of Renee Zellweger, characters in Shark's Tale are stereotypes. Will Smith is the streetwise but lovable hustler that is destined to find his inner depth; De Niro is the Don, Jack Black his the annoying prodigal son, and Scorsese as the spineless tough guy. In short, there's nothing new. Zellweger is the only fish for whom we ever feel sympathy. Shark's Tale is by no means a failure, especially if you look at box office receipts. However, I think the audience was just expecting a little more from SKG.

The Grid (2004)

Constantly on the verge of good, but never there.

[2 August 2004]

The script, locations, story, and timeliness (New York City is now yet again on high alert from terrorist threats) are perfect. The cast is competent as well. There are even certain subplots that are great (the sister of the ex-Mujahadeen doctor exhorting her brother AGAINST the taking of a life).

Yet when all the elements are placed together, the series falls flat. The execution is horrible. Timing and editing is choppy but the worst is the uninspired musical score.

The Grid is worth watching because the plot is so intelligently complex, but be mindful of the glaring flaws. Where Threat Matrix succeeded, the Grid fails. The former was able to take complex stories and condense them into 1 hour vignettes. The latter has a great story, but it just drags.

Traffic (2004)

What Would Happen if Tom Clancy Wrote a Miniseries ...

[7/10 · 30 January 2004]

A drug bust goes bad in US occupied Afghanistan, a merchant marine boat is scuttled while smuggling illegal immigrants, and the bank forecloses on a Wharton MBA's insolvent real estate deal -- the first 50 pages of a new Clancy novel? No, these 3 completely nonsequitur events happen in the first half hour of Traffic: The Miniseries.

Aside from the common theme of drugs, Traffic bears very little resemblance to Michael Douglas movie of the same name. That said, I was surprised by how engrossed I became in the plot. The miniseris is purely plot driven, with skin-deep characters provided to push the plot along. With 3 separate plot threads running concurrently, Traffic adeptly navigates the viewer through the labryinthine story with little confusion and much suspense.

Noteworthy performances are Elias Koteas and Martin Donovan as 2 DEA agents charged with the sisyphean task of de-stabilizing the same Taliban drug operation they helped organize in the 80s. Koteas displays the same subdued heroism here as he did in Thin Red Line opposite Nick Nolte. Mary McCormack also shines as Koteas wife, not your typical damsel in distress.

In the end, Traffic: the Miniseries is just a cool story, weaving narco-terrorism with Homeland Security. I would have enjoyed seeing this writ large a la HBO, bigger budget, better locales (Vancouver, BC doubles for everything from Seattle to Afghanistan), and stark dialogue. On HBO, Traffic would have been a true epic. On USA, it's a just a long stanza (Damn you, Barry Diller, spend some $$$!)

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Saved by the Story. James Cameron, where are you?

[6/10 · 6 July 2003]

T3 suffers from the "Matrix Syndrome," the need to outdue and surpass its predecessors with bigger, bolder, more blast-worthy action. Chases and nitroglycerine abound in this film as characterization is pushed to the background.

To be fair, very little characterization is needed except for the Claire Danes character. Unless you've been living in an isolated commune for the past 20 years, you know the Terminator. Arnold's persona has become pop culture myth -- like the Six Million Dollar Man writ large. Stahl's character, John Connor, is still the ordinary man tormented by his awesome destiny.

T3 does deliver the stunts, the explosions, even the catchy one-liners to which we've become accustomed. Arnold's performance is stellar. His charm breathes humanity into an automaton (Gov. Schwarzenegger one day perhaps?). Stahl is competent, while Danes is immeasurably underused. Note her role as Juliet in Baz Luhrman's Romeo and Juliet -- but hey, this isn't Henry James. Kristanna Loken is good as well, sexily exuding VERY homicidal tendencies.

Yet beyond the action, T3 main point of interest is the story. While the first 2 films touch upon existentialism and self-determination ("There's no fate but what you make" is a recurring theme), this film does a 180 and focuses on destiny. The ending is intriguing, a little 12 Monkeys-que, and certainly depressing.

I agree with Roger Ebert in saying that T3 is really a dumbed down version of its history. Were it not for the creative ending, I probably wouldn't have been as impressed. That said, T3 is a worthy addition to the franchise.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Pains me to say this: What a letdown.

[6/10 · 4 April 2003]

Pearl Harbor had one of the best trailers I've ever seen. The John Voight voice over even gave it a verisimilitude of a real FDR Fireside Chat. The shots and staging were some of the best of any film to date. Bruckheimer and Bay seemed on their way to hitting a grand slam.

Instead, they hit a single.

If you mute the soundtrack and script, most will agree that Pearl Harbor is perfectly filmed. The costumes, settings (modern Navy frigates aside), and feel of the film were perfect. The script, however, is horrendous. Ben Affleck delivers the worst lines in movie history. Beckinsale and Hartnett LOOK great, but have equally deplorable dialogue. Why in God's name would you make Pearl Harbor into a love story? It reminded me of the Saturday Night Live skit where they combined Crystal Pepsi and gravy to make "Crystal Gravy." Some things just don't mix.

No doubt, there are several well made scenes in the film. Voigt's FDR is actually reall good, but again, we have the perennial dialogue problem. The actual bombing is riveting, but then we return to the moronic love triangle that hangs over the film like a sword of Damocles. Alec Baldwin and Kim Coates provide throwaway characters -- perhaps the most shallow portrayal of Lt. Col. Doolittle possible.

I'm at an impasse because the film could have truly been so much better. Bruckheimer had good actors, big budget, well-financed production, and talented writers. Yet combined, he created anti-syngeries: The best looking film with the worst story.

I suppose it's impossible to expect every hit to be a grand slam. Bruckheimer did redeem himself with Black Hawk Down. As for Pearl Harbor, just catch it on HBO reruns. It's barely worth the rental on Video on Demand.

Hostage (2002)

Wow, this is smart advertising.

[8/10 · 18 November 2002]

In their latest quarterly report, BMW recently cited higher than expected launch costs associated with the new Z4. From looking at films like Hostage and Ticker, it's easy to understand why.

Hostage is a new breed of action shorts. By assembling John Woo's Hollywood A-list production crew, BMW along with Scott brothers Ridley and Tony have blended film and commercial into seemless product placement.

The premise of Hostage is not exactly treading on new ground. A disgruntled employee is holding his former employer in the trunk of his car, and high tide threatens to drown her unless the FBI, with help from Clive Owen's The Driver, delivers $5 million.

Woo's slick direction and gift of tension plays very well. Hostage is a taut thriller that both entertains and product places the new BMW Z4. No doubt the Driver films has already catapulted Clive Owen's career.

For those who question BMW's business acumen, consider how many car commercials lay casualty to the Fast Forward button. BMW has correctly identified his target demographic, high end yuppies with disposable income and broadband connection, and created an not easily forgettable product placement. Doubting Thomas' out there can surf the BMWfilms website for other shorts like Powderkeg and Ticker. Trust me, you won't be disappointed.

As for the car itself, well, if only it were a Bull market....

Smallville (2001–2017)

Great addition to the myth of Superman.

[26 March 2002]

Puritans may berate Smallville for deviating from the original comic book, especially with the way the series treats the friendship between Lex Luthor and Clark Kent. Nonetheless, Smallville does pay homage to the archetypal superhero myth with dignity and respect.

Clark Kent is not yet an invincible crime fighter, but rather a teenager with obviously abnormal growing pains and a good heart. Tom Welling is well supported by a very competent cast that includes Annette O'Toole, John Schneider, and of particular note Michael Rosenbaum as Lex Luthor.

The script writers deserve particular recognition for their portrayal of Luthor as young Citizen Kane, a wealthy man craving acceptance from society. Here, Luthor is a complex but basically good man who cares for his town and his friend, Clark. We even see roots of what will be Luthor's ultimate fall into evil, an ambition fueled by a need to outdo his father. Will this finally unravel the genuine friendship between Lex and Clark? Who knows, but I'm dying to find out.

Along the way, we'll watch Clark battle a few mega-villains with mutant powers, get grounded by his parents a few times, and fall all over himself because he's smitten over Lana Lang. It's a good story, and this is a good series. Hopefully, it'll endure.

Bull (2000–2001)

Nothing Like Wall Street (the place, not the film)

[18 August 2000]

I love Hollywood interpretations of the Street. Everyone is fit, athletic, superficial, and uni-dimensional.

While the 1987 Oliver Stone was brilliant in its portrayal of egos and empires, this paltry series offers nothing in terms of equivalent intelligence, depth, or even style. The business concepts aren't even right. Investment bankers and venture capitalists finance deals; brokers and traders trade stock.

After a quite promising opening 5 minutes where veteran actor Donald Moffat was addressing his army of bankers, the show quickly descended into the predictable depths of illicit affairs, illegal deals, and betrayal. Hardly original.

That aside, I'm sure that won't stop people from flocking to this Melrose Place by Battery Park. It's glitzy, but I just wish the producers would have invested a little more effort in scripts and character development.

By the way, as of this year Wall Street has gone business casual. The dark pin-striped days are over. That's why I had to mothball wardrobe of suits.

Shadow Conspiracy (1997)

Great example of Charlie Sheen's Career in Freefall

[1/10 · 22 February 2000]

Funny thing. Charlie Sheen, Donald Sutherland, Sam Waterston, and Stephen Lang have all had incredible performances. Who can forget Sheen as the callow naif in Wall Street, or Sutherland as the the cynical Korean War surgeon in MASH? Waterston and Lang have both also had successful TV and film careers (Law and Order, Killing Fields, De Niro's Tribeca, etc). So what in the world would any of these fine actors be doing in a stink bomb like this?

Shadow Conspiracy's plot of a Washington coup d'etat is not really that bad, unoriginal maybe but not that bad. Sure it's been done (Seven Days in May - a fine film!), but with a little tweaking, it could still have been entertaining.

Shadow Conspiracy's main problem is in the execution. Early in the film Sheen, political strategist extreme, ridiculously and implausibly resolves a potential public relations gaffe by blackmailing a Congressman. Later, gunplay with Lang's mute hitman tearing up half of what is supposed to be Georgetown is explained on the news as "gang wars". Has anyone remotely associated with this film ever lived a day in Washington? Sheen is about 20 years too young, way way too young, to be so senior in a White House Administration. Sheen's response to avert a political crisis is so ladened with false machismo, he looks as though he attended the David Hasselhoff school of acting. And when was the last time gang wars spread to Georgetown? We're talking about a section of Washington where citizens voted against having a Metro stop so that they could maintain their exclusivity.

I agree with another reviewer that this film would have been unbearable without the fast forward button. I taped it off HBO a year ago and then took 3 separate viewings to plod through it.

In summary: Don't buy this film. Don't even rent this film. If you see it at Blockbuster, run away as fast as you can.

Batman Beyond (1999–2001)

Brilliant.

[9/10 · 24 January 2000]

Cartoons have come a long a way since I was a kid. Back then Batman and Superman were always 2-dimensional cardboard cutouts with interchangeable personalities. Depsite some commercial success, horribly retrograde filth like Pokemon do nothing but propagate this lack of imagination on the part of animators.

Now we have Warner Bros., whose Batman and Superman animated revivals challenge the long-held belief that cartoons are plot-wise inferior to their big screen and big budget brethren. The Batman and Superman cartoons of the early 90s have shown us a deeper, more tortured and angst-ridden side to our comic book heros while at the same time remaining firm to their virtue and nobility. This is the stuff that real dreams are made of.

Batman Beyond is just as ambitious. In the new world of technological revolution there is still need for a protector of justice. Like the original Batman, this one was again forged out of the victimology of social corruption and decadence.

By combining complex plot, intelligent dialogue, great Japanimation, an incredible cast of voices that at times have included Stockard Channing, Paul Winfield, James Sikking, Michael Gross, and Kevin Conroy, Warner Bros. has recapitalized the Batman myth for yet another generation. This new series is so smart and so edgy that I am constantly amazed by the levels of irony and metaphor. This is definitely entertaining for both kids and adults.

But don't take my word for it, check it out for yourself. You won't be disappointed.