Jox Reviews

The Linda McCartney Story (2000 TV Movie)

This is one of the worst films of all time.

[2/10 · 16 November 2003]

The entire Linda McCartney Story is a complete shambles; it is historically inaccurate, the script is poor, it is superficial in the extreme and the attention to detail is dire. There is very much more to Linda McCartney than two short periods of her life with Paul – what happened to the ‘Wings' era? As others have said, the film totally ignores the most important things in her life, namely vegetarianism and animal rights. Linda was instrumental in bringing about a change in the way supermarkets treated vegetarians and she got them to stock suitable goods for the first time. This was a major achievement. Her battle with cancer was another important episode in her life that this film barely touches on.

The production values are on a par with ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes' but not nearly as funny. The accents are terrible in the main characters, and the relationships between the characters are simplified (and over dramatised) way beyond the reality. I could go on, but it would serve no useful purpose.

There were two reasons why I voted ‘2' for this film; one is the excellent Morgan car that Paul drove, and the other is that it was filmed on colour stock – I like colour! Finally, will someone tell Armand Mastroianni that the roads in the UK have white lines in the middle, not yellow! That just about sums up the quality of this work, I reckon.

Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938)

Love Finds Andy Hardy hard to love.

[2/10 · 25 April 2003]

If anyone is labouring under the misapprehension that Mickey Rooney can act, they will have their belief crushed in this dreadful work. In fact, the only decent acting (amongst the major actors) comes from Lewis Stone, but he looks so out of place with the rest of the cast, that at first you think he's the bad one. Stone's delivery is actually very well timed and delivered with aplomb, but this doesn't match the rest of the cast, and it is initially easier to put the blame on him, rather than the real perpetrators of the poor delivery. Oh yes, I should add that Judy Garland has considerable talents, but none of them are properly exploited in this filmic dross. 1939 was destined to be her best year (Wizard of Oz).

The script is dire, and worthy only of an essay written by an average 10 year-old. In fact, it is often worse, and quite confused. For instance, the scene where Rooney is asking Stone for money to buy a car is probably the worst bit of writing I have ever seen on screen. Actually, 'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!' positively shines, and becomes worthy of an Oscar in comparison.

On a more personal level, I did enjoy the inclusion of the 'Ham Radio' scenes, as it was in its infancy in 1938. I found it interesting to see that all the procedures and conventions had already evolved into much the same form that is still used today. However, I should also add that this does not mean that the actors were up to the task of being convincing during the said scenes. Far from it, in fact.

To be fair, the technical values of this film are good, for the time. There are some nice camera angles and the use of light and dark was almost up to 'The Third Man' standard. Unfortunately, the script and acting let it down.

I have not seen any of the other Andy Hardy films, so I have no way of comparing them. Now I have seen this one, I am a bit loath to 'dip my toes' in any of the others! Overall, I gave this film a 2/10 rating, but I wonder if that should really have been a 1? It was a close run thing!

Wherever She Goes (1951)

A true biographical story, but mainly concentrates on the early life of Eileen Joyce, a famous pianist.

[7/10 · 5 October 2001]

This film certainly has rough edges, but this suits the depiction of the location at the time being portrayed. Most of the film was centred on the childhood of pianist Eileen Joyce. She lived in Kalgoorlie-Boulder, Western Australia, and at the time (some would say still) it was an isolated and rough mining area. Eileen's father was there to try to find a fortune in gold, but was actually very poor. The story is really about the struggles that the family and Eileen went through to develop Eileen's piano playing skills. The acting is adequate, without being exceptional, but this is not as important as the story, which is well presented. Some of the scenes of Eileen as a young girl actually 'playing' the harmonica and piano are very unconvincing. This can be forgiven as the audience is primarily there to be informed, rather than be entertained in the conventional filmic sense. The only real criticism I have is that the film ends too soon. I learned that Eileen Joyce went through a lot to actually become famous, but I learned nothing about what she did to become as famous as she did. The viewer gets the feeling that the production company ran out of money, so the bulk of Eileen Joyce's life was dealt with in about a minute of celluloid - lots of the old newspaper headlines ploy! Overall, this is a good film, and well worth watching. I rated it 7 out of 10.

Time at the Top (1999 TV Movie)

A very good movie for kids, that stimulates the imagination.

[8/10 · 10 July 2001]

I found 'Time At The Top' an entertaining and stimulating experience. The acting, while not generally brilliant, was perfectly acceptable and sometimes very good. As a film obviously aimed at the younger demographic, it is certainly one of the better works in the genre (Children's Sci-Fi). Normally, I would say that Canada, the United Kingdom and Australia produce the best movies and TV shows for children, and 'Time At The Top' does nothing to discount this theory! I don't think that continuity and great acting are important to younger people. A good plot and an imaginative screenplay are far more important to them. Both are in abundance in this film. The special effects are good, without detracting from the story, or closing the viewers off from their own imaginations. It would have been very easy to inject an over-load of SFX in this film, but it would have totally destroyed its entire 'Raison D'etre'.

The settings and camera work are of a very high standard in this movie, and complement the fine wardrobe and historical accuracy. Overall, this film is highly satisfactory, and I recommend it to all viewers who can see the world through children's eyes, or those that try to, like myself! Now, I really must read the original book, as soon as possible.

It's Hard to Be Good (1948)

Standard post-war British Movie

[4/10 · 16 February 2001]

'It's Hard To Be Good' is fairly typical of British post-war cinema. It does pose some social comments/questions apt for the era, particularly regarding relationships between neighbours and family in a post-war context, and it also vaguely touches on the plight of returned service personnel (National Service was still in operation at the time). To do this, the film is in some ways quite critical of British society. It is difficult to place the work in any one particular genre, as there are elements from several, with the exception of 'action' or 'war'. The nearest description would be 'drama', but with a good element of 'romance'. The acting is standard fare and adequate, as is the plot. There are a few quite funny moments, that were probably quite advanced in concept at the time the film was made. Other than that, after sitting through a relatively unchallenging (but moderately entertaining) film, I was very disappointed with the ending. It seems as though none of the 'loose ends' were tied up for the audience, rather as if the funding ran out during filming. It just suddenly stops. Watch it only if you have nothing better to do, or if you are into social anthropology, cultural studies or sociology.

Strategic Air Command (1955)

Excellent aerial photography in an otherwise seriously dull film.

[2/10 · 2 February 2001]

Firstly, let me make it clear that I love aircraft, and usually any film with them in is worth watching - and I've sat through some shocking ones. However, the same is not true of this film. James Stewart is an excellent actor, but he is wasted in this Strategic Air Command promotional film. The acting is mediocre, and the direction is weak. I had to stop watching this awful rubbish about half way through. This was despite some really good, maybe even the best, aerial photography. The trouble is, even for an aviation nut like me, making something out of the shocking aircraft featured (B-36 and B-47) just grates on the nerves too much. It's a shame that the film wasn't made when the B-52 appeared, then the superlatives used for the aircraft in this film would have been valid. Then I might have been able to sit through it. Perhaps I'm missing the point of the film, which may be the angst suffered by loved ones while their beloved are on active duties. In any case, it could have been done much better. Recommendation? Well worth missing.

Maslin Beach (1997)

The constant nudity will be a big factor in liking it or hating it.

[9/10 · 10 October 2000]

Maslin Beach is a real nudist/naturist beach south of Adelaide, on the Fleurieu Peninsula, in South Australia. It is also the name of an Australian film that used the beach as a location.

Maslin Beach is labelled a romantic comedy. This could be slightly misleading, as it is not a 'hilarious' film, nor is it really romantic in the traditional sense, but it does have light-hearted moments. Much as life itself, there are also moments of sadness too. It is also entirely shot at the nudist beach mentioned above, and nudity runs throughout the length of film. The viewer quickly learns to accept this as normal, and concentrate on the plot, not the copious amount of flesh.

Simon and Marcie (Michael Allen and Eliza Lovell) arrive by car at a beach-side car park. They take their belongings to the beach, and while they are walking, a voice-over from Simon talks about his confusion about what real love is. The rest of the film is an exploration of this, framed by one complete day at the beach. The basic story is of what happens to Simon's love life, but there are also many other characters highlighted in several separate vignettes.

When they arrive at the beach, both Simon and Marcie appear bored with each other. Marcie sees them as a 'Romeo and Juliet' romantic couple. Simon is just bored with it all. Next, we are introduced to Gail (Bonnie-Jaye Lawrence), Paula (Zara Collins) and Jenny (Jennifer Ross). They are walking down the beach together discussing Gail's chances of finding the 'perfect' man, aided by the 'powers' of a necklace that brought good luck to her Grandmother. However, there are many more interesting people on the beach, not all of them 'attractive' and young (part of the realism of this film).

To service the beach's patrons there is a flatulent, short-sighted ice-cream salesperson with a van. This is Ben (Gary Waddell), who is a friend of Simon, and is also his unofficial counsellor. I would think that this character is the main comic element. It is hard to say though, as there is nothing about Ben that would make you laugh aloud, unless you were intoxicated, male and very young! Maslin Beach does have a major redeeming feature though, and that is that it does not dwell too long on any one subject. As the quality of acting is variable, the script is suspect and everything about Maslin Beach is cheap, the lack of continuity is a positive boon. In fact, there is something about this film (not the nudity) that I find appealing. It is hard to define what it is, but it could be something to do with its bluntness, and downright 'Aussie' attitude to carnal matters.

The camera work in Maslin Beach deserves a mention. Sometimes it is very good, with some stunning static shots and 'pans' of the beach, cliffs and a sunset. As nudity is a major factor in this film, framing is an important aspect of the camera work. There is no sense of gratuity in the framing, meaning that the framing is done so that the camera does not dwell on 'private' body parts. This helps to ease any sense of viewer discomfort from being within the subject's 'personal space', and makes the film more tasteful. Not an easy task, given the location for filming.

Maslin Beach is neither a 'skin flick' for post-pubescent, testosterone charged males, nor a 'Mills and Boon' romance for under-appreciated women. Maslin Beach does not seem to fit anywhere in genre. The actors are not 'attractive' in the Baywatch sense, and are just 'normal' people that you would see on the beach anywhere. It does not have a message to put across and it would not even act as a tourism advertisement, other than perhaps to Naturists. Apart from the Australian accent, the filming could have been in any sunny country. What makes this film distinctly Australian is the fact that it is pointless (cinema verite?), and only Australian Cinema, and other medium sized National Cinemas, could consider such a rash option. At the same time, these medium sized cinemas have room for experimentation in the quest for identity, and a 'flop' is not going to damage their reputation too much. It is always possible, given that Maslin Beach is now a collector's item, that the film might become internationally popular, but it is very unlikely.

During this critique, I have been sounding highly negative, at times, about Maslin Beach. This is not the real position, as I found the film very easy to watch. I enjoyed it as a reflection of near reality and real people (and problems). The problems confronted in the film are those of the everyday, and a little low on spectacle. This does it no harm in my view, and I wish that more films dealt with the everyday like this. There is a connection here with the cinemas of Europe, and with French film in particular. They rarely deal with major disasters or catastrophes, but with the everyday. Hollywood is in direct opposition to this, and rides the crest of the hyper-real action/drama/angst wave. The pace too, is much faster in Hollywood, but it is not reality. Maslin Beach is not exactly 'Jacques Tati' either, but it is on the right track, even if it does ignore issues of multi culturalism, equality, gender orientation and so on, that are of such importance in current cinema. I am sure that you will either love or hate this film, with little room for a middle ground.

Crystal Voyager (1973)

A photographic and aural wonder.

[10/10 · 7 December 1998]

'Crystal Voyager' is the most remarkable film I have ever seen. It integrates the music of Pink Floyd (Echoes) with the most stunning photography. The film is a montage of surfing scenes, overlaid with beautifully chosen and timed music. Some of the camera shots seem impossible; at one point the camera is actually in the sheet of water at the front of a breaking wave, for some time, and then emerges with the subject still framed. If the viewer is looking for a plot, or adventure, it will not be found here. If retinal stimulation is the name of the game, then this is the pinnacle. A good film for comparison is 'Koyaanisqatsi', by Godfrey Reggio, with the music of Philip Glass. If you enjoyed that, 'Crystal Voyager' will send you to new, and much greater, heights.

Triangle (1981–1983)

Experimental television series that failed to float.

[22 November 1998]

In genre, this series of 'Triangle' was probably more of a 'soap' than a serious drama. The programmes, being broadcast several times a week, would tend to confirm this view. The series was a brave experiment in the use of video. It was probably the first British drama to be entirely shot on the medium. A large percentage of the 'filming' was also done on location, including North Sea ferries. The technical costs were very high. The process of filming on ferries was also plagued by weather considerations, and power supply difficulties. The costs of transporting a technical crew, and performers, must have been huge. It is worth noting that, regardless of any problems in the production process, the screening also suffered from frequent breakdowns. Transmitted from a video source, picture-freezes, playback speed variations, picture break-up and so on, were very common. The acting could best be described as adequate, but was nearly always overshadowed by technical aberrations. The scripts were often very good, when considered alongside other 'soaps', and actually had some substance. Much of the filming was on location in Europe, and was visually very appealing, and competent. Had this series been made a few years later, it might still be with us now. 'Triangle' was a good idea, let down by the vagaries of an emergent technology. 'Triangle' was probably finally 'sunk' by the financial costs involved in production, and the difficulties in transmitting video. Whatever the problems, the series was highly entertaining to watch - other people's misfortunes have always provided the biggest laughs!