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Reviews
Roswell: The Aliens Attack (1999)
Warning all humans ... avoid at all costs ... this is rotten beyond belief ...
This was packaged pretty well and promised an interesting spin on an interesting story - the alleged discovery and subsequent cover-up of a crashed alien spacecraft in New Mexico 1947. Anyway what you get is rubbish of the highest order and as soon as the cheap "fluoro green eyes" special effect is used to identify the aliens then you know what you're in for. Two human shaped aliens walk out of the crash - one male the other female. Well the male falls in love with a widowed airforce base worker and the female goes on a sex spree, and there is much disagreement between male and female on whether to blow up the earth. Won't give away the ending but it is so loaded with sweetness you'll want to be sick. There's also a hand-held alien gadget which shoots people, uploads information, downloads information, fries peoples brains, and heals people (most with a voice that sounds like the "good morning" you hear in some elevators).
Take my advice - give this one a wide berth ...
When Trumpets Fade (1998)
What a great film ...
It seems this fantastic movie has taken everyone by surprise. No fanfare and made for TV but gritty and realistic - I haven't seen Private Ryan but this reminds me, in its portrayal of the hopelessness of it all, of another great WWII film - Cross of Iron. For anyone who wants to read about this terrible (and almost forgotten) battle on the German frontier try to get hold of "Siegfried - The Nazis Last Stand" by Charles Whiting.
Deep Impact (1998)
The Worst Film I've Ever Seen ...
I should explain the headline - it's the worst Hollywood movie I've seen. Obviously plenty of 50's and 60's Sci-Fi and Horror were technically worse but in terms of sheer stupidity in a big budget movie this takes the cake. 1. Tea Leoni appears simply to reprise her bumbling idiot sitcom character, whoever that is. The thought of such a ditherer being an anchorwoman is laughable. 2. The idiotic sub plot involving two kids who look about 10 years old getting married is an insult to our intelligence; and 3. The Statue of Liberty effect was done superbly in Planet of the Apes, this movie is not in the same league. No offence to those who liked this film but it just doesn't do it for me.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)
This is a great series ...
This series aired over Xmas in Australia and was moved to 10.30pm then suspended mid-stream. I love it. It's one of the funniest shows on TV. I just watched the original movie and am amazed at how badly it compares to the series. 1. Buffy in the movie is a pain the a** airhead despite attempts late in the piece to make her more likeable. 2. Her circle of friends are even worse, where the characters around her in the series are very witty and interesting in their own right. I hope this one keeps going for a few more years yet ...
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
Not a bad film for a Sunday afternoon ...
The TV series is so good it's a pity to see this movie continually canned for failing to compare. It's not bad for a laugh and not quite as heavy as the series. The TV Buffy is so likeable you need to be careful not to take an immediate dislike to the "Clueless" style Buffy in the Movie. But anyway, suspend the comparisons and give this a go. It's not bad.
Lost in Space (1965)
A ride down memory lane ...
I'm 35 y.o. and a major part of my childhood memories involved bolting home at 5pm every nite to watch endless repeats of this show. It plays at 1.15am once a week now. Who'll ever forget the man in the Carrot Suit on the talking plants planet. This was such a cool reference to a 60's theory that plants had feelings and felt pain, and had a whole generation of people talking to their houseplants !! Ahh the joys of LSD ...
A great show.
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947)
This One's a True Classic ...
There's not a thing bad I can say about this film. It's both funny and moving, and even 50 years after it was made, Gene Tierney holds her own as an exceptionally beautiful woman.
Highly recommended.
Death Curse of Tartu (1966)
A Great B Grader
This movie was one of my first forays into horror and still leaves a strong impression. An original "slasher" and still well worth a look if you can get hold of a copy ...
Starship Troopers (1997)
What a disappointment !!!
Starship Troopers was a magnificent book and I was very excited to learn that a movie version of it was finally being made. Unfortunately I read the book at the age I should have seen this movie, ie. about 14 years of age. "90210 in space" is a well-used commercial review of this film and I couldn't agree more. What could have been a gritty sci-fi spectacular in the mould of "Predator" was turned into an infantile fashion parade. The only real surprise for me was that the Spice Girls didn't land a guest spot. Maybe it was decided that 3 billion noisy insects was enough for one movie, an extra five weren't needed ...
Don't bother.