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Reviews
Seua khaap daap (2005)
One of the worst possible action movies
Tiger Blade is one of the worst action movies I ever saw... The plot is non existent, it's so full of holes that I lost interest about 10 minutes into the film. So, at least there are good fight scenes ? No. Special effects are cheap. It's all a rehash of previous films, notably Matrix, but with inferior quality.
Everything sucks in this movie ! Lousy acting, totally boring, this flick is an insult to the viewer. Avoid !
Sometimes the absence of a plot is preferable to a really crappy one. Take the Doom video games, for instance. Who cares why you're there as long as there are aliens to shoot ?
Up at the Villa (2000)
Up Yours
I went to see this movie with a girl friend, I hadn't seen a "love" film for a long time, so I thought why not.
She hated it. I hated it. Everyone laughed in the room. It was just so pitiful. I can't understand how film critics from a decent paper (Voir, Montreal) could give even a warm report on this.
The characters are shallow, uninteresting and predictable ; the story has already been seen countless times before. The acting is bad ; Sean Penn is overacting (did he take some tricks from Leonardo ?) ; Kristine looks like she's on weed, she's not there, she's transparent, she didn't make me feel anything.
It reminded me of an old chick flick, Lancelot, with Richard Gere. He was wearing his armour like a pair of Calvin Klein jeans. So fake.
I didn't expect very much from this film, yet I was utterly disappointed. If someone ever said this is was chick flick, he sure had a very lowly opinion of women.
Anyway Up at the Villa also has bad music, is badly filmed, the cut makes me doze, the colours are crappy.
So go rent starship troopers, it'll be better for your brain (that's a bold statement !) or even The War Zone if you feel intelligent, but that's a hard one...
Siegfried & Roy: The Magic Box (1999)
Any theatre that shows this should be burnt to the ground
You know a movie which starts by a ten minutes long presentation of the theatre's sound system is not gonna rely too much on your central nervous system for understanding. IMAX movies belong to this kind. I knew it, yet nothing could have prepared me for the experience in deep stupidity that is the viewing of this film.
The story is told as if the audience had an IQ of 4. It is empty and vain. I wont even speak about it, it fills me with dismay.
The purpose of IMAX is to have spectacular shots. The excerpts from Sieg&Roy performances are really great and a pleasure to see, although the very nature of performance magic loses its interest on film.
However, these beautiful shots add up to a very little part, maybe 10%, of the movie time. The rest is storytelling so rotten it gives the creeps, and computer generated "stuff" that is at the same time technically awful and aesthetically extremely ugly and pointless. On the technical side, you can see the pixels in the image and the pixels in the (ugly) textures ; and on the aesthetic side, it's JUST PLAIN UGLINESS that you can witness in glorious 3-D and surround sound. I'll say it another time. IT'S A-F***IN UGLY !
One could say that, well, they intended to have that "cardboard" look for whatever artistic reason. But no. The word "artistic" cannot be associated with this film.
A troubling thing is also this repressed homosexuality which oozes fron the two "heroes" ; by the end it is pretty obvious that they probably do more than just magic together, and we dont see a single woman in the entire movie except their mothers and some dancers. And they show them living happily together with all their white tigers in their mutimillion ranch. Well well. I would have built a shrine to this director for having put out the first french kiss between two guys on IMAX close-up. But he didnt do it. He chose hypocrisy instead.
By the way, the director also directed "The Lawnmover Man", which seems fitting, in the end.
Jésus de Montréal (1989)
Very good artsy movie about the beauty of theatre
Acting doesn't pay much these days, and a team of very good, yet impoverished actors has to work for the church in a show re-creating the life of Jesus. The need for really creating something lingers and frustrates them ; until an old friend comes back from a long trip. This man has talent and charisma enough to shape the others' fuzzy desires into writing a play. They turn their dull show about Jesus into something terrifyingly beautiful that has the public crying. But then, something happens...
This movie is really beautiful and moving, go rent it !