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Schmoffi
Reviews
Duets (2000)
Not as bad as I thought...
There were quite a lot of negative reviews of this movie, but I watched it anyway because I was kind of bored... and I have to admit that I quite liked it.
Of course, one could argue that everything in this movie seems a bit phony or pretended, but at least the story of Todd and Reggie is as touching as anything you can see at the movies. Admittedly, the other two storylines are a bit shallow compared to the first one.
Anyway, this is IMHO a kind of so-so movies, one of those that some people like and some don't. But I think compared to the other stuff that is playing right now (over here in Germany, that includes "Pearl Harbor" and "Tomb Raider" :- ), you might as well give this one a try, if only to see Paul Giamatti's and Andre Braugher's great performances.
Snatch (2000)
Yet another Pulp Fiction...
Seven years after "Pulp Fiction", I think we have reached a point where we don't need any more movies containing: (1) stupid criminals who are (2) talking like ten-year-olds, while they are (3) committing acts of violence, (4) giving laconic comments on those, all of which is (5) shown in many interwoven plots with lots of flashbacks and time jumps.
In fact, I liked the movie, and I laughed quite hard in some places. There are great farcical scenes, great editing (Dennis Farina's trans-atlantic flights are about the funniest 2 seconds of movie I've ever seen), but all the same, I thought, yawn, just another "Pulp Fiction" rip-off.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those hard-boiled "Tarantino is god, and everyone else is stealing from him" fans, but in this case it's pretty obvious, and it kind of spoiled the movie for me.
Frau2 sucht HappyEnd (2001)
More melancholy than you can possibly bear
This movie looks like a pure exercise in style. Someone must have thought that the more close-ups of ashtrays or coffee cups you can add to your movie (from weird angles and/or out of focus), the more intellectual appeal it gets.
This film is about two people who meet in an Internet chat room, are more or less destined for each other, but, to quote Roger Ebert, try to avoid happiness as long as possible; will they finally meet? (Right; you guessed it.)
I liked the basic outline of the plot, but there were just to many scenes of people sitting with their heads propped up on their hands, staring into their overflowing ashtrays, drinking heavily, and looking sooo depressed.
I'm not trying to poke fun at someone who's lonely or rejected, but the makers of this movie spent way to much effort at expressing their intentions in wonderful pictures; many of the shots are really beautiful, but there are just to many of them, and after a while you (I, that is) want to yell "alright, I know what you want to express, now let's move on with the plot".
As I said, the movie looks great, I liked the actors, and if you're in the right mood and don't mind a bit of exaggeration you'll possibly like it.
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
Mindbogglingly stupid
You'd guess a movie with a $125M price tag would have deserved someone who'd proofread the script for obvious nonsense...
(WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD)
Of course, things that happen in an action movie don't always refer to reality, but there's a certain point where it just becomes ridiculous. Take for example the _three_ times when a character is not the person he seems to be, but (gasp!) someone else wearing a face mask (two of these are applied within seconds by Cruise's character, who seems to have an instant face mask generator in his pocket). Or consider the motorbike chase: things like these _don't happen_. When Roger Ebert reviewed some action movie the other day, he observed that the action scenes could as well be performed by Bugs Bunny, because you're always aware that no human being will ever perform these moves without massive support from the vfx department. That's what I thought here, too.
Apart from that, you'll find about every movie cliche you can think of... (I'm still waiting for a movie where the good guy kills the bad guy and _makes sure_ he's dead. These secret service guys can disarm a nuclear weapon with a paper clip and some gaffa tape, but they can't kill someone for good - hmm, they can kill dozens of nameless thugs with single kicks, but not _the bad guy_.)
About the only strong point I found was that the movie looks great (i.e., it looks _expensive_). - Save your money and go rent some of those Bruckheimer flicks (The Rock, Con Air). At least, those aren"t _that_ dumb.
3 Chinesen mit dem Kontrabass (2000)
Great black comedy
The plot of this movie is very simple: Guy wakes up next to his dead girlfriend, too tight to know if he did it. Tries to get rid of the body, stumbling from one awkward situation into the other. This might already be enough for a fairly funny movie.
But what I liked most in this case was how the people involved looked like real people to me. Somebody once observed that a movie or a play can only be funny if it relates to something we know, and that's probably why this movie appealed to me. In that respect, I'd like to compare it to "Fargo".
Some people might be offended by the way this movie handles violence (or rather, accidents), but then that's what black comedy is about; on the credit side, I'd like to mention that, although you anticipate it all the time (which leads to some funny scenes), the movie doesn't show you any gory details.
Wer liebt, dem wachsen Flügel... (1999)
I have hardly ever seen a movie this predictable and ridiculous
The first thing you learn about this movie's protagonist, Christian, is that he is afraid of heights. Consequently, as this is supposed to be a romantic comedy, when he sees his future wife for the first time, he leans of his window too far to get a better view. Guess if he'll drop right before her feet and she'll think it's so cute.
The problem is, Christian is a kind of dreamer, dealing with antiques and old documents, while his wife inherits her fathers software company on their wedding day and has to do all the things a 16-hour-work-day-power-woman is supposed to do: answering the phone in every imaginable situation, cancelling dates because of business appointments, and fiddling with her computer while he tries to talk to her seriously.
You know the scene in some movies where people are watching something lame on TV and predict the lines the characters will say, and the characters on screen actually say it? That's what I did. Please, dear screenwriter, don't let them say this ridiculous phrase now, and bang!, it happens. You'll find yourself laughing, not because the movie is funny, but because you see what it wants to convey and how miserably it fails.
Serial Lover (1998)
Weird, but funny
I saw this movie as a "Sneak Preview", where the audience did not know which movie would be shown; a lot of people left during the first half, but those who stayed seemed to have quite a lot of fun (I did). If you are offended by the Monty-Python kind of blood and gore, you probably shouldn't see it.
The movie starts with Claire accidentally murdering four men, her former fiance acute;s; this takes place in various bizarre ways (one of the guys spends most of the time with the blade of an ice skate sticking in his head, after being strangled with a telephone cord). For the rest of the time, she is occupied covering her deeds, and coping with the dozens of party guests her sister pops up with, always on the brink of breaking down.
After 15 Minutes I thought it couldn't possibly go on at that pace, but it did, for the full 90 minutes. If the body count was a bit lower, you would probably employ the term "screwball comedy". If you happen to know "Four Rooms", try to imagine a 90 minute version of the Banderas and Tarantino sequences at double speed, and you'll get the idea.
Armageddon (1998)
This is what "movie industry" is all about.
Watching this movie, I was always aware that I was shown a product geared towards potential customers, rather than a movie made for an audience. This is what the word "movie industry" is all about. We leave art behind, and create products out of simple building blocks. Romance means two beautiful people, Action means pyrotechnics, noise, and a shaking camera, Tension means that the world cannot be saved before the red digital readout shows "0:00:01". The word "simple" leaped to my mind when I watched Armageddon. Everything in this movie is just too simple.