Vaya luna de miel (1980) User Reviews

What a HONEYMOON, indeed!

[Davian_X · 6/10 · 8 April 2020]

Previously lost for decades and only now resurfacing on, of all places, the Filmoteca Espanola's Vimeo account (they did a restoration), Jess Franco's VAYA LUNA DE MIEL ("What a Honeymoon!") is a strange and atypical entry in the director's filmography, itself famous for its idiosyncratic building blocks. Playing almost like a kid's adventure film until it's randomly punctuated by the director's trademark sex and nudity, it's almost impossible to pin down, though constitutes a welcome bit of variety from a filmmaker who, at this point in his career, was often far too bogged down in fidgeting with the focus knob while ogling his wife than stringing together a coherent plot.

Based, quite loosely, on Edgar Allan Poe's "The Gold-Bug," VAYA replaces Poe's master-and-assistant dynamic with Simon (Emilio Alvarez, looking barely 17 but absolutely gorgeous), a rich young bookworm, and his new bride Yolanda (Lina Romay), whom he meets on the beach when she seduces him by suggestively eating a popsicle. It's barely five minutes before the two are hearing wedding bells, and, embarked on their honeymoon in the Banana Islands, the couple is almost immediately sucked into a weird treasure-hunting expedition after a dying man hands them a mysterious scrap of paper. Discovering it contains a coded message visible only upon prolonged exposure to sunlight, Yolanda enlists the demure Simon to follow along with her scheme, which somehow loops in a group of "Chinese" pirates, a sassy toy robot, and random, pointless exposition scenes that bring the plot to a screeching halt.

It's all very silly, and generally fun, even when it starts wearing a little thin. And, in a rare move for Franco, almost no one gets raped or brutally murdered. Again, it's almost a movie you could watch with the kiddies, and sees Franco in one of the more playful states I've yet encountered him. With hundreds of films to his credit by now (particularly counting variant and alternate versions), it's easy to think that by this point we've seen all the director has to offer. Yet, VAYA LUNA DE MIEL proves the guy's still got plenty to surprise us, even 7 years after his passing. When it comes to Franco, I guess we're all still in our honeymoon period - and oh, what a honeymoon it is!

So-so and funny adventure/thriller/comedy in Jesús Franco style with very short budget, stars ordinary Lina Romay

[ma-cortes · 5/10 · 31 December 2022]

What a honeymoon! Results to be a peculiar adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe's short story ¨The Beetle¨ passed through the hilarious filter of Jesús Franco . "Vaya Luna de Miel" begins with the young Simón, played by the still rather pubescent-looking Simón (Emilio Álvarez) . Simón is a bookworm sheltered by a wealthy family and he meets the lively Yolanda (Lina Romay) who asks him for on the beach if he could help her open her bikini top while she licked her ice cream, and later on , they get married . Yolanda randomly chooses any point in the world for her honeymoon, namely the Banana Islands (Sierra Leone , actually shot in Benidorm , Alicánte and Málaga). As Simon and Yolanda row for six hours on a river, then continue on foot through the dense jungle, while Greta (Susy Boulois) drives them to a marvellous cave , wondering why the young couple make it so difficult . Because everything on the Banana Islands has long been developed for tourism , which the young couple, caught up in their fantasies of a wild adventure , don't even realize. Once there, she confesses that she was only looking for a rich man to marry , but she really loves him. But it doesn't matter, the couple will soon complement each other perfectly. And finally the film ends in a gold mine, or a room covered in gold foil , probably someone's Benidorm hotel lobby .

Produced by Manacoa Productions , Jesús Franco's owner , containing jungle adventures , action , thrills , humor with tongue-in-cheek , plot twists and brief nudism . The film has nothing to do with Edgar Allan Poe , being loosely based or inspired on his short story , taking parts here and there . The picture was recently discovered and soonly restored by Filmoteca Española , it was then screened at a festivals , and briefly shared online for national and international audiences with English subtitles. The treasure hunt in "What a Honeymoon" deals withan exotic honeymoon of a dysfunctional newlywed couple, when it coincides with a treasure hunt , and like the entire movie, staged and flavored with fun dialogue . Franco dares to play an early game with his world and the real world in a unique adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe's The Gold-Bug. This film breaks with reality being comically integrated to Franco's personal world . Franco did this most convincingly in some brief moments , remembering the adventurous ¨Viaje a Bangkok, ataúd incluido¨ (1985) and the bizarre "The Blues of Pop Street" (1983).

"What a Honeymoon" is a hilarious farce about a treasure hunt that can spend a few minutes to take off , but is otherwise highly amusing and entertaining. But that's how Franco's illusions work. Stars the always gorgeous Lina Romay , Franco's wife , who seems much more mature than her partenaire and Emilio Alvarez who appeared in a few sex comedies in the early 1980s, including Amando de Ossorio's "Pasión prohibida" alongside Susana Estrada . While Antonio Mayans has brief appearance towards the end as the real Simón , who he plays affected .In addition to Lina Romay, Antonio Mayans , the usual Francoist actors do not show up . Rather, at least some of them seem to belong in the exotic entourage . And Max H. Boulois , one wonders where Franco got to him , providing a special appearance from the dark-skinned giant Boulois, himself a director and lead actor in his own films. He directed three action films, "Deadly Force" (1980), "Casino Robbery" (1981) alongside Peter Cushing, Claudine Auger and Hugo Stiglitz, and "Black Platoon" (Othello, 1982) with Tony Curtis and Joanna Pettet . Of course , brief appearance by Jess Frank himself as an early killed spy , who gives to the starring couple sn essential paper to discover the keys to find the treasure.

But apart from being an outandish and absurd comedy, it must serve as the vindication of a unique filmmaker at a national and international level . The simple fact that the film had remained forgotten for almost forty years in the basement of the film library clearly indicates that we have not even come to caress all the immense creative world that surrounds this director . Let us hope that this type of projections does not go unnoticed and helps to promote the investigation and recovery hidden works. The motion picture was regularly directed by Jess Frank. It is by no means a good film that strays from his style or that can stand out among the dense filmography of the director from Málaga. Jess was a Stajanovist, restless writer, producer, director who realized 200 pictures approx . His career spans over 50 years with a few successes and lots of flops, making all kind of genres : thrillers, adventures, action and with penchant for Terror and erotic genre . Jesus used to sigb under pseudonym, among the aliases he used apart from Jess Frank or Franco Manera, were the following ones : Frank Hollman, Clifford Brown, David Khune, James P. Johnson, David Though, among others. Franco used to use ordinary trademarks, such as : zooms , nudism, foreground on objects , filmmaking in DIY style and managing to work extraordinarily quick in very low budget, as well as frequently releasing various titles at the same time. He was a prolific filmmaker, directing a lot of lousy movies. However, making some acceptable fiñms , such as : We are 18 years old, The awful Dr Orloff, The Bloody Judge , Count Dracula, 99 women, The Blood of Fumanchu, Faceless and a few others. And many of them were heavily cut and with double versions . Rating Vaya luna de miel ! : 4.5/10 .

Jess as a robot

[BandSAboutMovies · 7/10 · 14 February 2023]

Found by Jess Franco scholar Álex Mendíbil in the Filmoteca Española archive after being lost for forty years, this is pure joy on film.

Yolanda (Lina Romay, never more charming, vivacious or just, man, I want to hug her; just look at her in this cowboy hat in the movie and tell me that Jess Franco wasn't a lucky man despite the trials of his life) has married a rich boy named Simón (Emilio Álvarez) for his family fortune and is on honeymoon on Banana Island, a place where dying men give them blank slips of paper covered with mysterious messages, treasure is waiting to be found, a gang can be summoned with a flute and oh yeah, a Franco-voiced robot shows up and threatens to murder people and self-destruct.

Also, somehow an adaption of Edgar Allen Poe's The Gold Bug and has a lot in common with Is Cobra A Spy?

I can't overemphasize enough how much this movie made me happy. Outside of Lina slipping out of her top a few times - la chica no puede evitarlo - this is as clean a Jess Franco movie as you'll see, shot in gorgeous settings, filled with high adventure and always a laugh and smile. A movie that is trapped like a fly in amber, reminding one of youth, of spy action, of silly windup robots stumbling in and out of the movie.