WandaVision (TV Mini Series)
Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience (2021)
Fred Melamed: Mr. Hart
Photos
Quotes
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Arthur Hart : You know, I owe my success to being a keen judge of character. No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision?
Vision : I don't have a skeleton, sir.
Arthur Hart : Glad to hear it. Your future in this company depends on it.
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Vision : I couldn't find the lobsters, and did you want the meat tender or pulverized?
Wanda Maximoff : Oh, dear.
Vision : [she heads to the kitchen] Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly. Anyone for Parcheesi?
Mrs. Hart : My-my... my head is spinning.
Vision : Oh, Mrs. Hart...
Arthur Hart : Did you hear that? My wife's head is spinning. Generally speaking, I don't like her head to do that.
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Wanda Maximoff : Oh, what was I supposed to do next? Oh, what was the main course again? It was... Steak... no. Steak... Steak...
[finding the right recipe card]
Wanda Maximoff : ...Diane!
Vision : Yes? Oh, I think that must be my wife summoning me.
Arthur Hart : She calls you Diane?
Vision : Yes, it's her pet name for me.
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Agnes : You didn't answer the back door.
[giving a pineapple to Wanda]
Agnes : For your upside-down cake.
[seeing the Harts]
Agnes : Oh! Hi, I...
Arthur Hart : [Wanda closes the door in her face] Who was that?
Wanda Maximoff : [simultaneously] A salesman!
Vision : Telegram. A man selling telegrams.
Wanda Maximoff : Wouldn't you know it? Good news is more expensive.
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Arthur Hart : So I said, "If we orient the forms horizontally rather than vertically, we can use twice the paper, we can bill twice the cost."
Vision : You truly are a pioneer! But the-the larger purpose of the forms is...
Arthur Hart : Was to analyze our input and our output.
Vision : Huh.
Arthur Hart : You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision?
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Wanda Maximoff : I hope you're hungry.
Arthur Hart : Starved, is more like it.
Mrs. Hart : My head is-is starting to feel woozy.
[in the kitchen, Vision hits a steak with the meat tenderizer]
Wanda Maximoff : [trying to distract the Harts] Were either of you aware that married men are killing single men at an alarming rate?
Arthur Hart : What are you going on about?
[another whacking sound from the kitchen]
Arthur Hart : And what's going on in there?
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Mrs. Hart : So, where did you two move from? What brought you here? How long have you been married? And why don't you have children yet?
Vision : [Wanda doesn't know what to say] I think what my wife means to say is that we-we... we moved from...
Wanda Maximoff : Yes, we moved from...
Vision : And we were married...
Wanda Maximoff : Yes, yes, we were married in...
Arthur Hart : Well? Moved from where? Married when?
Mrs. Hart : Now, patience, Arthur. They're setting up their story. Let them tell it.
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Arthur Hart : You know, I'm beginning to think you're not management material, Vision. You know, I had high hopes for you. But from what I've seen here tonight, you can barely keep it together. I mean, look around. There's all this chaos going on in your household. Now, when are we gonna eat?
Wanda Maximoff : Dinner is served.
Arthur Hart : Breakfast for dinner? How very, uh...
Mrs. Hart : European.
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Arthur Hart : Wife and I are looking forward to tonight.
Vision : [connecting the dots] Mr. Hart! Of course! Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
Arthur Hart : Yes, that's what I just said. What's wrong with you, son? Have you got a screw loose?
Vision : Oh, no, sir.
[tapping his head]
Vision : Screws all tightened, sir.
Arthur Hart : Yes, I should hope so. Employee dinners are a rite of passage for the new hires.
Vision : Ah.
Arthur Hart : Jones over there failed miserably. Isn't that right, Jones?
Phil Jones : [leaving his office with a box of belongings] The wife thought five courses would be sufficient.
Arthur Hart : And there was that paltry excuse for entertainment.
Phil Jones : A string quartet?
Arthur Hart : And then you had that embarrassing display of beatnik enthusiasm.
Phil Jones : I wore a turtleneck.
Arthur Hart : Yes. Best of luck out there in the unemployment line, Jones.
