Crossing Swords (TV Series)

My Super Sweet Period Party (2020)

Maya Erskine: Princess Blossom

Photos 

Quotes 

• Patrick : Why'd you make me carry these?

  Princess Blossom : I dunno. They looked heavy.

  Patrick : They're really not.

  Princess Blossom : Listen, my family tree is just cousins fucking cousins on every branch. My fragile little bird bones can snap in a stiff wind, okay?

• Aunt Donna : Beware the period party, girl. At the end of the night, the maiden's valuable virginity gets locked up tight in a chastity belt.

  Princess Blossom : No way I'd put on a chastity belt.

  Aunt Donna : Princesses who refuse get locked up in towers. If you don't believe me, just ask *me*!

  [as Aunt Donna cackles evilly, the sound of lightning and thunder crash outside the castle] 

• Queen Tulip : I'm very proud of you. Today you were everything a princess should be: beautiful and 100% obedient.

  Princess Blossom : [groans]  How am I supposed to sleep in this fucking thing?

  [Blossom kicks off the blanket to reveal her chastity belt] 

  Queen Tulip : Here's the spare key.

  Princess Blossom : The what!

  Queen Tulip : My mother gave me one and her mother before her. The men *think* they're in control, but we have all the power.

  Princess Blossom : Wow. Thanks, Mom.

  Queen Tulip : Also, it's impossible to shit with that thing on.

• Princess Blossom : Mom! Am I really getting a chastity belt?

  Andrew Thomas Paulson : Ah, there is the woman of the hour.

  Princess Blossom : Who the fuck are you?

  Andrew Thomas Paulson : I am Andrew Thomas Paulson and I give you my magnum opus. Behold... the patriarch-kini!

  [reveals a jeweled chastity belt worn by a Lady-in-Waiting] 

  Queen Tulip : Oh, it's gorgeous! Don't you think?

  Princess Blossom : So it's true? You promised me a perfect party, not a pussy prison!

  Lady in Waiting : It's pinching my labia.