The Magicians (TV Series)

Marry... Kill (2019)

Arden Myrin: Helen

Quotes 

• Josh Hoberman : Look, I just need your help. What is going on with me? With us? The quickening?

  Helen : Well, I don't really know everything...

  Josh Hoberman : You're a goddamn cryptozoology professor! What *do* you know?

  Helen : Lycanthropy is technically a curse. Transformations are tied to the lunar cycle, and behavioral changes are mostly... non-lethal. Except during the quickening.

  Josh Hoberman : Well, that sounds pretty, pretty bad!

  Helen : Oh, luckily it only happens every 30 years or so. In the 48 hours leading up, all lycanthropes experience... urges, starting in the form of nightmares or waking dreams.

  Josh Hoberman : What is the curse trying to make me do?

  Helen : Have traditional sex with an uninfected person. Or kill them.

  Josh Hoberman : Jesus Kayla Christ!

• Helen : The urges increase as the moon moves towards its aphelion, the climax as it were, in a lycanthropic high point of lupinity, or wolfness.

  Josh Hoberman : I took your class, Helen, I know what lupinity means! Why can't I just lock myself up in a cage until the quickening passes?

  Helen : Because that won't satisfy the urge. You need to have sex or kill or you'll rip your own guts out. That's how the curse is insured to spread. It's quite clever, actually.

  Josh Hoberman : Oh, yeah, real clever how I'm going to rape or murder someone in the next two days no matter what.

  Helen : If you try to suppress it, it's always possible you'll do both. Or commit suicide. Just, you know, to have all the options on the table.

  Josh Hoberman : What the hell am I going to do? What are we going to do?

  Helen : Have you considered Tinder?

  Josh Hoberman : What? No! Because I have a really, really bad S.T.D. and that sort of kills the desire to sleep with anyone, so forget... wait... did *you* do that?

  Helen : ...Yes. And it worked! That is why I am not going crazy right now. You are very charming, Josh, I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding someone to... dance with before, you know, the wolf makes a choice for you. Good luck, Josh.