The Bullwinkle Show (TV Series)

Wossamotta U: Parts 9-10 (1963)

William Conrad: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : Yes, Boris had switched diagrams and the hapless moose was now going over a set of battle plans of the Civil War!

  Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee : [interrupting]  Or, as we call it, the War Between the States.

  Narrator : Now wait a minute, who are you?

  Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee : Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee, sir.

  Rocket J. Squirrel : Yeah, but you're not part of our story.

  Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee : No, I'm from the League of Confederate Correctors.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : The League of Confederate Correctors?

  Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee : Every time a program refers to the late unpleasantness as the "Civil War"...

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : ...You show up and correct them?

  Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee : That's right, shug. We call it the "War Between the States".

  Rocket J. Squirrel : Yeah, but...

  Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee : I just can't abide the word "civil"!

• Narrator : And Bullwinkle turned and began dashing toward his own goal line! On he went, swivel-hipping his way through the opposition!

  Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee : Dagnabbit, you said "civil"!

  [the colonel raises a pistol, aimed directly at the camera, and fires a shot] 

  Narrator : [frustrated]  All right! "War Between the States"-hipping his way through the opposition! What can save the game for our boys?

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Maybe we could get some new writers.

• Narrator : Don't miss our next episode "Bullwinkle's Battle Plans" or "Civil Def--"

  Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee : Uh-uh-uh. "War Between The States Defense."

  Narrator : That is not funny.

  Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Lee : I know. I can't abide jokes neither!

• Narrator : When our heroes finally made it under fire to their dressing room, gloom was written on every face.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Except mine. I got "Despair" written on mine.