- Sister Harriet: [to Meyer] Bringing the kid was a big mistake.
- Jonah Heidelbaum: You know what? I-I'm not a kid. Okay? I was bar mitzvahed seven years ago, Sister. Chanted a little Leviticus, boogied to Mungo Jerry. After my haftorah, got an over-the-pants hand job from Ruchel Rekenstein. I know you think I'm this undescended testicle, but I'm old enough to drink, smoke, enlist in the Army, so... I'm not a kid. And unless you want to Greyhound over to the Indian casino and recruit the Navajo Windtalkers, I think you fucking need me.
- Sister Harriet: One misstep and I will do things to you so traumatizing, you'll wet your knickers any time you even see Mary fucking Poppins on the telly.
- Murray Markowitz: Murray Markowitz: "10-4, Eleanor" phrase from Firesign Theatre's "Don't Crush that Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers" 1970.