- Sandy Kominsky: Listen, I finally got the urologist on the other line.
- Norman: Wexler? Tell him I hope he gets his index finger caught in a wood chipper!
- Secretary: [upon returning to work] I am so delighted that you're back.
- Norman: Give it time. The feeling will pass.
- Sandy Kominsky: Boy, I'm havin' a good day. My prostate's not gonna kill me, my dick's still working, and I got a job!
- Elliot Gould: That's the geriatric hat trick.