- John Shakespeare: Give us a hand with this yule log, will you, Mary? You know how you like handling my wood.
- [laughs heartily]
- Mary Shakespeare: You're a common man, John Shakespeare. A very common man.
- John Shakespeare: And you love it!
- Elizabeth l: 'Tis strange, Mr. Greene, 'tis passing stange. My gentle lady did tell she o'erheard the players rehearsing your appaling old chestnut Backache and Bogey.
- Robert Greene: Bacon and Bungay.
- Elizabeth l: Lucky for you the rumour was false. Had I thought for one minute you'd tried to slip your Bogey play into my Yuletide schedule I would have had everyone involved beheaded!
- Will Shakespeare: Come now, Greene, what would be the meaning of your mood? How is it that you who in the past have been full of sound and fury like the roaring lion now blows soft and gentle like the flatulent fawn?
- Will Shakespeare: By St. Thomas's toasted teacakes! 'Tis lucky the three wise men didn't travel to the manger by public coach. Jesus would've been crucified and risen again by the time they got there.
- Kate: But you're very naughty, Mr. Marlow, it's still advent. Merriment be not yet begun.
- Kit Marlowe: Oh, come on now, Kate, no one waits anymore, the currents and the clouds have been in the shops since August.
- Condell: [about Twelfth Night] This be naught but a laughable ragbag of songs, silly misunderstandings, a girl dressed as a boy and a lot of characters with silly names. Who would ever want a show like that at Christmas?
- Burbage: So it is a comedy.
- Will Shakespeare: Of course it's a comedy, you can tell, because there are characters with funny names. That's how I let people know.
- Elizabeth l: I offer you all that men desire. And you would help a friend?
- Will Shakespeare: Well, eh... it is Christmas, after all.