Boo 2! A Madea Halloween (2017)

Tyler Perry: Madea, Joe, Brian

Photos 

Quotes 

• Aunt Bam : Mabel, I got to tink, I need to tinkle, I need to teet-teet... Mabel, I gotta pee!

  Madea : Bam, tinkling is for little people. Pissing is for big ass people like us!

• Joe : [the Grim Reaper is standing in front of the car]  Damn, I didn't expect to see him for a long time.

• Joe : [to Brian]  You got all these streamers and confetti and blow

  [imitations horn] 

  Joe : 18 year old kids want drugs at their parties!

  Madea : Ain't no 18 year old should be doing drugs.

  Joe : I've been doing drugs since I was eight!

  Madea : And that's why you turned out STUPID as hell!

• Joe : [Hattie's bumping and grinding]  Watch, her knee gonna go out from under her in a minute.

  [Hattie's knees lock and she falls on the floor] 

  Aunt Bam : Joe, how did you know her knee was gonna lock up?

  [Joe grins and chuckles] 

  Aunt Bam : Joe, that's disgusting.

  Joe : That's how I know.

• Joe : You're 18, right?

  Leah : [pause]  No, uh uh, uh uh...

  Joe : Oh... damn... I was just gonna... make you feel like a woman.

• Madea : That girl back there, her mama Debrah gonna let her go down to Lake Derrick for a party.

  Aunt Bam : Mabel!

  Madea : Yes!

  Hattie : Down there where them children died?

  Madea : All them people got killed. She's gonna let her go down there for some party.

  Hattie : Well what the hell they going down there for?

  Madea : I just said a party, a Halloween party, Hattie!

  Aunt Bam : Why do these children insist on playing around with the devil these days?

  Madea : You tell me, honey, you tell me.

• Madea : Who they kill?

  Leah : Horse!

  Joe : Whores, huh?

  Hattie : That fine sexy college boy?

  Leah : Yes!

  Hattie : What a waste of a man.

• Joe : [to Derrick]  Hey partner, they tell me you killed your whole family, that right?

  [Derrick nods] 

  Joe : Well look, I got this sister of mine that I've been wanting dead a long time. She's a big old dude. You think you can help me with that?

  [Derrick nods] 

• Hattie : They *gave* her a car?

  Brian : That's what I said.

  Hattie : For pree?

  Madea : What you just say?

  Hattie : For free.

  Madea : For free? Ain't no p-r in free!

• Madea : Joe, why you got to drive my car so hard?

  Joe : Cuz that's what I do with a car, and a woman, and a ho, you got to drive it HAAAAARRRD!

• Aunt Bam : Joe, you gotta go help your sister.

  Joe : I don't like that dude!

• Madea : [to the Grim Reaper]  I don't play this Halloween BULL-crap!

• Madea : [to the Grim Reaper]  Where your eyes?

  [reaches her hand into the black void and sees her hand disappear] 

• Madea : You know what I'm gonna do?

  Hattie : What?

  Madea : I'm gonna

  [deep manly voice] 

  Madea : BEAT HIS ASSSSS!

• Madea : [sees the Connors brothers dragging Joe off]  Well, he dead now, we'll look for him in the daylight.

  Aunt Bam : Mabel, if he dead now what is there to look for in the daylight?

  Madea : You know you' right, when you're dead it don't matter, we'll let Jesus find him when He come, praise Him!

• Victor : Wait, 14 murders?

  Brian : 14 murders. This makes me so angry!

  Victor : I don't like being lied to. This is not like Gabriella.

  Brian : Well it's definitely like Tiffany, she lies all the time. WHY would they want to go to a party where people have been murdered?

  Victor : Even though the killer's been caught, this is still unsettling.

  Brian : Yeah, paragraph two. Two brothers, the brothers were *never* caught, so they don't know what's going on up there!

• Brian : Look, let me read it, here. It says "In 1976, crime scene investigators were baffled by the murders at Lake Derrick. Authorities believe that the two men died in the vast wilderness surrounding the lake, but locals in the small town, they take another view. "I believe they're still up there," says Ray Jones. The Connor brothers, Jimmy Wayne Connor, and Bobby Joe Connor, were never apprehended."

• Leah : [runs up to the car]  Help!

  Joe : What the hell?

  Madea : Girl I about punched the hell outta you!

  Leah : They're trying to kill me!

  Madea : This that girl from the party.

  Aunt Bam : Don't open that door.

  Leah : They're trying to kill me!

  Joe : Who trying to kill you?

  Leah : Derrick!

• Tiffany : Guys, we can make a run for my car!

  Dino : Yes!

  Madea : Girl, how the hell all of us gonna fit in a damn Mini Cooper?

  Tiffany : Well I was hoping that you'd stay here and we'd go for help.

  Leah : Yes.

  Madea : You know what? That's what we gonna do. We that damn stupid, we gonna stay here and let you go get in the car and leave. Y'all need some help.

• Madea : [Joe's driving her car at 2 mph with a flat tire]  Pull over, Joe, you're driving too damn fast!

• Madea : Well honey, a car is a nice gift even if she got it for free.

  Brian : No, it's not.

  Hattie : Why?

  Brian : Well for one thing, she can't drive.

  Aunt Bam : Duh, Brian, YOU supposed to TEACH her to drive.

  Brian : I TRIED to teach her! I was trying to teach her to parallel park, she backed into a tree!

  Hattie : Why she do that?

  Brian : I said 'Why did you do that?', she said 'I didn't hear the beep'.

  Aunt Bam : Oh!

  [nods] 

  Madea : What you mean 'oh'?

  Aunt Bam : Madea, the new cars nowdays beep when you back up, honey, you don't know about having a good car.