GLOW (TV Series)

Live Studio Audience (2017)

Christopher Lowell: Bash Howard

Quotes 

• Sam Sylvia : All right. We're gonna need a cameraman, gonna need sound, lighting. Need a ref, gonna need an announcer.

  Bash : You're gonna need all these things by, by, by Friday?

  Sam Sylvia : Well, in a few weeks, we shoot the pilot. Be nice to get them in early while we have time to, you know, uh, work out the kinks.

  [throws pen at Bash] 

  Sam Sylvia : Here, here's a pen.

  Bash : Oh, okay. All right.

  Sam Sylvia : So, the girls can do their own hair and makeup for now. Probably gonna have to make a budget for costumes. I'm sure you got ideas about that. And also that video camera you got me got stolen, so I'm gonna need another one of those.

  Bash : Wait, wait, wait. What, what, you just, you just lost it?

  Sam Sylvia : No, I didn't... I didn't just lose it. It was here, and then it was not here.

  Bash : Did you try to look for it?

  Sam Sylvia : Are you my mother? Yeah, I tried to look for it.

  Bash : Okay, well, if we need a new camera, it's coming out of your salary.

  Sam Sylvia : My salary? You're supposed to be the rich guy.

  Bash : It's not Monopoly money. I mean, this is about accountability, Sam. And trust and thrift.

  Sam Sylvia : [gets up]  Oh, my God. You sound like a Protestant.

  Bash : Is that a bad thing?

  [Sam walks out of his office to face the ring] 

  Sam Sylvia : Hey! Hey! If any of you have any information about the whereabouts of my video camera, or if any of you happened to steal it, bring it the fuck back now.

  Bash : Now!

  Sam Sylvia : No questions asked, except you'll be immediately fired. There's too fucking many of you, anyway.

• [Sam notices Bash installing a keyboard near the ring] 

  Sam Sylvia : You having a yard sale?

  Bash : Yeah, you asked for lights. We've got lights, in the ceiling, right? Sound, I got my sister's karaoke machine. Music, boom. Casio City. Now, I didn't get you a camera operator 'cause you lost my camera, but I did get you a ref.

  [Bash points at Keith] 

  Sam Sylvia : Keith? What the hell, man? Are we doing community theater?

  Bash : Come on, why can't you embrace the, like, do-it-yourself charm, huh? The Mickey and Judy putting on a show in the barn kind of feeling?

  Sam Sylvia : Yeah, if only I were on that much speed. I mean, like, who's gonna announce? You?

  Bash : I wish. No, I've gotta chaperone Glen Klitnick. But Sam, you're gonna do it. Look at me. You're gonna kill it.

• Sam Sylvia : All right, let's do this. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first ever match of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.

  [crowd applauds faintly] 

  Bash : Brought to you by Patio Town!

  Sam Sylvia : All right. Pace yourselves. All right, first match. Battle of the Beasts. From the icy wastelands of the frozen north where she rapes, pillages, but mostly rapes, please boo for Vicky the Viking!

  [Reggie approaches the ring while Sheila plays 'Theme of Exodus' on the keyboard] 

  Sam Sylvia : Oh, okay. And now... from the cloud-crowned heights of the Andes known by the ancient Incas to be the palace of the gods, put your hands together for Machu Picchu!

  [Sheila plays 'Theme of Exodus' on the keyboard] 

  Sam Sylvia : Is that the only song you know?

  Sheila the She-Wolf : It is.

  [Carmen approaches the ring] 

  Glen Klitnick : I like her. She's very winning.

  Bash : Great choice of words.

  Sam Sylvia : Here she is... Machu Picchu.

  [Carmen stops outside the ring, sweating profusely as she looks at the crowd] 

  Reggie Walsh : Carmen, get in the ring.

  Carmen Wade : I can't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

  [Carmen walks out of the gym] 

  Glen Klitnick : Is she all right? Is this part of the gag?

  Bash : Uh, you know, I'm not sure. I'm gonna go check it out.

  Keith : The Viking wins! Yeah, all right.

• Bash : Hey! Machu Picchu! What the fuck is going on? We've got Glen Klitnick from the network inside. All right, there's a whole audience here and...

  [Bash suddenly notices Carmen sweating profusely] 

  Bash : Oh, oh, my God. Are you okay?

  Carmen Wade : I think I'm having a heart attack.

  [Carmen passes out] 

  Bash : Oh, shit.

• Paramedic : Blood pressure's normal, ECG is fine. The fainting was an extreme response to emotional distress.

  Carmen Wade : But my heart?

  Paramedic : If you're worried about your heart, why don't you give Weight Watchers a try?

  Bash : Whoa.

  [paramedic walks to the front of the ambulance. Bash flicks his cigarette in his direction] 

  Bash : That guy's a jerk.

  Carmen Wade : Please don't tell anyone.

  Bash : Tell them what, that you're emotionally distressed? Who isn't?

  Carmen Wade : I've been waiting my whole life to do this. It should be in my DNA, but I didn't even make it into the ring.

  Carmen Wade : You don't wanna let people down. I get it. I feel like I'm disappointing a lot of people right now.

  Carmen Wade : What? Everyone loves you. You're like Santa Claus.

  Bash : My mom cut me off.

  Carmen Wade : What are you talking about?

  Bash : You know, I guess she figured out how much money I was spending on all this.

  Carmen Wade : How much money were you spending?

  Bash : [sighs]  Six-hundred thousand-ish.

  Carmen Wade : How did you spend that much money?

  Bash : I don't know, between renting the motel and all your salaries. Buying the gym.

  Carmen Wade : You bought that place?

  Bash : Well, it's easier than trying to figure out all the fucking paperwork.

  [pause] 

  Carmen Wade : Is the show off?

  Bash : No. No, no, no. The show is on. No, I just... I just... I gotta figure out... a couple of things.