"GLOW" Debbie Does Something (TV Episode 2017) - Betty Gilpin as Debbie Eagan

Debbie Eagan : [rapping] I'm Liberty Belle, the American Hero. I'm a perfect ten, and you're a zero.

[pause]

Debbie Eagan : [rapping] I'm American as apple pie, and if you're not, I'll make you die.

[Debbie jumps on the bed]

Debbie Eagan : [looking at Randy] So what do you think?

[Debbie notices Ruth going out with Sam and Rhonda]

Debbie Eagan : Guess all that extra work paid off, huh? For her, anyway.

Carmen Wade : You wanna talk? You can squat.

[Carmen continues her squats before throwing the medicine ball to Debbie, who squats and throws it back to Carmen]

Debbie Eagan : So you have obviously been helping her. You're so good, now she is so good, and I still suck.

Carmen Wade : Well, Ruth takes it seriously.

Debbie Eagan : Well, I take this seriously. I'm working out as hard as I can. I had a baby six months ago. My hips are still in the wrong place. Every time Cherry makes us jump rope, I leak a little, but, you know, I'm here.

Carmen Wade : It's not the workouts. The problem is, you think wrestling is stupid.

Debbie Eagan : Well, it is stupid. I mean, isn't it?

Carmen Wade : I prefer exaggerated. I mean, that's the point. My brother, he once had this promoter set him up with a guy who wrestled with a snake. The day of the match, the snake died. Kermit put on a sock puppet and my brother had to wrestle it like it was real.

Debbie Eagan : That sounds humiliating.

Carmen Wade : It brought the house down.

[pause]

Carmen Wade : Have you never been to a real wrestling match?

[Melrose inserts coins in soda machine, but the soda bottle is jammed]

Melanie Rosen : Fuck my mother in her fucking cunt! I'm thirsty! Fuck you!

[Melrose notices Debbie and Carmen all dressed up]

Melanie Rosen : What are you looking at?

[Debbie and Carmen walk away]

Melanie Rosen : Oh, you guys are friends now? That's cute. Are you guys going out? 'Cause Cherry's gonna have a shit fit if you guys aren't back by curfew.

Debbie Eagan : Tell.

Melanie Rosen : Can I come?

Carmen Wade : Mr. Monopoly, the heel. This is gonna be a grudge match.

Debbie Eagan : Like in real life?

Carmen Wade : In the story. Every match is like another chapter. It all started when Mr. Monopoly closed down the factory in Steel Horse's town, and he and all of his friends lost their jobs.

Debbie Eagan : Oh my God.

Carmen Wade : And then, he kidnapped Crystal, Steel Horse's woman, and brainwashed her. She was his high school sweetheart, but now she thinks he's evil. He still loves her. Every time, tries to win her back.

[Steel Horse motions for Crystal to go to him, but Mr. Monopoly grabs her by the hair]

Carmen Wade : It turned out they're actually half-brothers, and...

Debbie Eagan : And that was his plan all along, to ruin Steel Horse's life in order to get revenge on the father who abandoned him.

[Carmen and Melrose see that Debbie gets it]

Debbie Eagan : Oh my God.

[Mr. Monopoly slaps Crystal]

Debbie Eagan : It's a soap opera!

[Steel Horse punches Mr. Monopoly]

Debbie Eagan : This whole thing is a soap opera! I understand how to do that.

Carmen Wade : My brother said he's super nice.

[Carmen knocks on Steel Horse's door. Steel Horse opens the door]

Carmen Wade : Hi, Dale. I'm Carmen, Tom and Kurt's little sister.

Steel Horse : Oh, right. Sure.

Carmen Wade : We just wanted to come back and tell you how amazing that was. Um, these are my friends. Melanie...

Melanie Rosen : Melrose. Melrose. Hi, it's a pleasure.

[Melrose shakes hands with Steel Horse]

Carmen Wade : And Debbie.

Debbie Eagan : Hi.

[Debbie shakes hands with Steel Horse, but he pauses and looks at her]

Steel Horse : You're Laura Morgan. From Paradise Cove.

Debbie Eagan : Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. I mean, I was.

Steel Horse : I can't believe I'm meeting you. I'm a huge fan.

Debbie Eagan : You watch soaps?

Steel Horse : Yeah. It's where we get all our best ideas from. But I have to say, new Laura can't act for shit.

[Debbie laughs]

Steel Horse : I sell it, but he's the one with the real strength, the real craft. That's how it is with the bad guys. They're craftsmen.

Debbie Eagan : You mean the heel.

Steel Horse : Superfan over here. Yeah. The heel makes the face. Rick has been making me look good for years.

Debbie Eagan : That's a good friend.

Steel Horse : We're not friends. You don't have to be friends to wrestle. It's like... an unspoken language. I look at him like this, he looks at me like that. And we know what's gonna go down. Because that's a partnership, you know? We don't like each other, but we make each other better. Shit in the ring, it's just entertainment. But there's gotta be something there that's real. That's what makes it work. That's what makes it hit you. Right... here.

[Steel horse places his hand on Debbie's chest]

Melanie Rosen : Debbie? It's getting late.

Steel Horse : It's cool. You probably gotta go home to your boyfriend or your husband or whatever.

Debbie Eagan : Uh, you know what? I am actually recently separated, so...

Steel Horse : Oh.

Debbie Eagan : Mm-hmm.

Melanie Rosen : Debbie, don't make me be the rules person. I'm not emotionally equipped for it.

Debbie Eagan : You know what? Why don't you just, just, uh... just take my car.

Carmen Wade : Are you sure?

Debbie Eagan : I'll, I'll take a cab. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Melanie Rosen : Fantastic. Bye.

Carmen Wade : If Cherry finds out.

Debbie Eagan : You know, I'll deal with Cherry. Bye.

Carmen Wade : [waving at Steel Horse] Thanks for having us.

Debbie Eagan : Yeah, yeah. Bye.

[Melrose and Carmen leave the dressing room]

Steel Horse : Separated?

Debbie Eagan : Yeah.

Steel Horse : I feel bad for your husband.

Debbie Eagan : Really? 'Cause I don't give a shit.

Debbie Eagan : Fuck. Shit. Where the fuck is that key?

[Debbie notices Cherry exit her room]

Debbie Eagan : Hey, Cherry! Oh, good morning. Hi. I'm so sorry, I, uh... Well, had a little bit of an emergency. And... Well, everything's fine, but... I'm just gonna grab my keys, and...

[Cherry grabs Debbie's cigarette from her mouth]

Debbie Eagan : Oh, no smoking.

[Cherry smokes the cigarette]

Cherry Bang : Keith thinks I quit.

Debbie Eagan : Well, it's my first pack since, since Randy was born, so...

Cherry Bang : So... did Steel Horse live up to the name?

Debbie Eagan : Ha ha. They told you.

Cherry Bang : Melrose did. I told her what we do to rats where I come from. Bitch shut up after that.

[Debbie laughs]

Debbie Eagan : Yeah.

Cherry Bang : You didn't answer my question.

[hands cigarette back to Debbie]

Debbie Eagan : Oh. Um... Yeah, it was good, I guess. You know, it's exciting. It's kind of... So... And fucking weird. I don't know. You know, you're with someone for a long time, and all you think about is the guys you'd get to sleep with is he just, like, disappeared... and then he does. And, and you do, and... You just remember how much easier it is... how much better everything works when, um... it's someone you really know, and, uh, who really knows you.

Cherry Bang : Sounds like horse was less than steely.

Debbie Eagan : Oh, no. The horse was steely. Exhaustingly steely. Steely enough that I'm dreading having to pee. So, I gotta get some sleep.

[hands cigarette back to Cherry]

Debbie Eagan : Enjoy.

Cherry Bang : Oh, no. You're not getting off that easy. We've got a 5K uphill.

Debbie Eagan : 5K?

Cherry Bang : Just you and me.

Debbie Eagan : Oh, okay. Give me five minutes to, uh, wash my face and drain my tits.

Cherry Bang : [holding cigarette] You got until I'm done.

Debbie Eagan : Okay.

Cherry Bang : Yep.