Saturday Night Live (TV Series)
Tom Hanks/Lady Gaga (2016)
Tom Hanks: Self - Host, Sully, David S. Pumpkins
Photos
Quotes
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Chris Wallace : Good evening, I'm Chris Wallace, and welcome to the third and final Presidential debate. Tonight is going to be a lot like the third Lord of the Rings movie. You don't really want to watch, but, hey, you've come this far.
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Man : Ok, yeah, yeah, and David Pumpkins is?
David Pumpkins : His own thing!
Woman : And the skeletons are...?
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Darnell Hayes : [From category "They out here sayin'"] They out here sayin', the new iPhone wants for fingerprint, "for your protection.
[Doug buzzes in, surprising the host]
Darnell Hayes : Oh, ok then, Doug.
Doug : What is, I-I, I don't think so, that's how they get ya.
Darnell Hayes : Yes! Yes! That's it!
Keeley : Yes, I don't trust that!
Shanice : Me neither.
Doug : No, I read that goes straight to the government.
Shanice : Hm!
Darnell Hayes : Well, that is not bad Doug!
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Darnell Hayes : Doug, I don't know what's going on, but the board is yours.
Doug : Well thank you so much, Darnell. You people are fun. Can I say that? Is that ok? Can I say that?
Darnell Hayes : We'll give you a pass this time.
Doug : Okay, let's go to... Big Girls for $200.
Darnell Hayes : Okay, the answer there: Skinny women can do this for you. Doug?
Doug : What is, not a damn thing?
Darnell Hayes : Yeah, you damn right! You damn right! heh heh.
Doug : Yeah, cause, you know, my wife, my wife, she's a, she's a sturdy gal.
Shanice : [High-fives Doug!] That's my man right there!
Darnell Hayes , Shanice , Keeley : Go Doug! Go Doug! Go Doug!
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Darnell Hayes : They out here saying that every vote counts. Oh, Doug again!
Doug : What is, come on, they already decided who wins, even before it happens.
Darnell Hayes : Yes! Yes! Yes! The Illuminati figured that out months ago! That's another one for Doug!
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Darnell Hayes : The mechanic says you owe $250 for new brake lines. Doug?
Doug : What is, you better go to that dude in my neighborhood who'll fix anything for $40.
Darnell Hayes : Why, why, you know Cecil?
Doug : Yeah, but my Cecil's name is Jimmy. And he fixed my refrigerator, my air conditioner and my cat.
Darnell Hayes : Yeah, yeah, everybody's got a guy. Woo, you all right, Doug!