Rachel Dratch: Deborah Ward
Photos
Quotes
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Richard Martinez : Aren't you the one who got caught having sex with a high school student, Miss First?
Deborah Ward : He looked legal... from the waist down.
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Deborah Ward : I came up with six new ways to get Bianca del Rio fired and out of our lives. All I need is a t-shirt cannon and four live raccoons.
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Deborah Ward : I smashed a cockroach up against the wall with my bare hands - and there he was, in the goo, the face of Jesus! And right then I knew I was born again... again.
Prison Matron : Okay, I don't think that's a thing.
Deborah Ward : Oh, it is. I baptized myself in the toilet just to be sure.
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Deborah Ward : Is this what you want, a world where freaks and homosexuals get to do whatever they desire? Nuh-uh! I did NOT prey to President Trump every morning to turn this country into a big transgender toilet.
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Deborah Ward : Hasta la pavement, bitch!
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Deborah Ward : [gasps, spotting Richard/Bianca at the Russian science fair] She's dressed as Richard? How'm I gonna get the police to arrest her if she's just a run-of-the-mill gay-burger without the flame sauce and extra cheese?
