- Jonah Heston: I'm turning this off!
- Tom Servo: You can't, we tried that.
- Crow T. Robot: Yeah, we're made out of those special parts.
- Jonah Heston: [to the tune of 'Pop Goes the Weasel'] All around the mulberry bush, the dinosaur chased the people...
- Crow T. Robot: Wow! Machu Picchu!
- Tom Servo: Machu Picchu is in Peru.
- Crow T. Robot: Huh, so they filmed this movie in Peru?
- Tom Servo: [angrily] Would you just-? Oh!
- Tom Servo: [singing to the Mystery Science Theater 3000 theme tune] But the cowboy didn't like him, so he shot him in the face...
- Crow T. Robot: Meta!
- Don Pedro: The drought is shrinking the swamp again this year, from what the natives tell me.
- Jimmy: I know. I've been there.
- Tom Servo: Girlfriend.
- Jimmy: Whenever that happens, there are always strange tales of men and animals disappearing.
- Enrique: [in a heavy American accent] Speaking of disappearing...
- Crow T. Robot: [as Enrique] Has anyone seen my accent?