- Gene Siskel: There's not much to like about "The Guardian".
- Roger Ebert: Y'know, there is one area, though, Gene, where this movie breaks important new ground. And this is something that movie trivia experts should...
- Gene Siskel: Oh, you're going to be funny now.
- Roger Ebert: Yes, I'm going to be funny. This is the first movie where a chainsaw is used against a tree.
- Gene Siskel: I understand. And then it spews out blood and all that.
- Roger Ebert: Thank you for that enormous laugh of support there.
- Gene Siskel: Well, it's not that funny.