Flakka Zombie Drug (2023) User Reviews

A Tragic Masterpiece of Cinematic Catastrophe

[markfirman · 1/10 · 23 October 2023]

Prepare yourself, dear reader, for a cinematic experience so profoundly terrible that even the most committed connoisseurs of bad movies will find themselves questioning the very fabric of their existence. It's not just a movie; it's a colossal train wreck of epic proportions, an exercise in cinematic self-sabotage that defies all logic and reason.

The dialogue in this cinematic abomination is so cringe-inducing that it makes Tommy Wiseau's "The Room" look like Shakespearean prose. The dialogue is delivered with all the emotional depth of a soggy cereal box. It's almost as if the actors themselves couldn't believe what they were saying, and who can blame them?

The pacing of this disasterpiece is another highlight. It manages to be both glacially slow and mind-numbingly fast at the same time, leaving you in a state of perpetual confusion. Just when you think you've grasped what's happening, the movie careens off in a completely different direction, as if the script were written by a hyperactive squirrel on a caffeine bender.

In conclusion, this movie is a triumph of terrible filmmaking, a cinematic catastrophe that defies description. You could argue that when a film is so bad, its good - yeah, not this one. It's a testament to the depths of human creativity when it comes to producing cinematic garbage. If you're in the mood for a film that will make you question your life choices and leave you yearning for the sweet release of unconsciousness, then this is the cinematic masterpiece you've been waiting for. Just be sure to have a strong supply of popcorn and a sturdy sense of irony on hand, because you're going to need them to survive this train wreck of a movie.

A failure on every level

[kannibalcorpsegrinder · 1/10 · 11 January 2024]

Following the death of her husband, his wife and daughter move to a new house to try to start over in life, but when her attempts at finding a new partner are interrupted by the discovery of a special drug that turns those around it into zombies must try to save herself and her loved ones.

There's nothing of value here. The careening storylines, switching between the wife and daughter adjusting to the move, the wife's desire at starting a new relationship, the dealers trying to distribute the new drug they've stumbled upon, or the couple who are trying to make ends meet, are all so bland and uninteresting that there's no hope for the film to build any interest. Even worse, they drag on for so long when they keep shifting gears that there's a dreary, stupefyingly dull pace that it brings about the zombies so late in the film no one cares about them. Outside of the lame storyline, the attempts at horror are so poorly handled it's outright laughable. The fateful party that spreads everything is flat and bland as it takes forever to get the outbreak going dealing with subplots between the guests no one cares for, the scenes of the swarming zombies are so inept they barely qualify as genre thrills, and with a decided lack of blood or gore really look unfulfilling as it just sputters along until the end. Combined with a cheap look and barely anything happening outside of this swarming sequence, this was absolutely dreadful on every level.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language and Violence.

Pure Garbage

[BudoSenpai · 27 March 2024]

Just when you thought the last movie you saw sucked, you come across this mess. If you want a good laugh at this atrocious attempt at cinema and have some time to waste, then by all means, light up a joint and sit through this as long as you can. On second thought, don't do it; you probably have much better things to do with your life. I'm surprised the actors and everyone else that were a part this terrible production didn't come on here and hit the 10 star button like people do in other terrible films - but even these people knew better. The director and cinematographer should be banned from ever making a movie again.