- Alex: You're broke. Big deal. You'll be back to making mediocre television and ludicrous movie sequels in no time.
- Grover Foster: Whoa. Air Bud 6 was not ludicrous. If you can teach a dog basketball, you can teach him how to master blackjack.
- Karen: C'mon, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Home is where you go when life throws you a curveball.
- Grover Foster: Thanks, mom.
- Karen: So, your mom got pretty sexy, right?
- Grover Foster: What?
- Karen: It's okay. You can say it: Ol' mom looks hot. I mean she looks good. Like, belongs on a boat good. People are interested. Sexually interested, Grover. In your mom.
- Grover Foster: Dad? What are you doing here?
- Jack: I asked Nicholas to text me your location.
- Nicky: I'm sorry, Grove. I can't be dishonest via text. Those messages last forever.
- Grover Foster: Let me make myself perfectly clear: I want absolutely nothing to do with you.
- Jack: Grover. Son. This isn't easy for me to say... but... if I buy you an automobile will you forgive me?
- Grover Foster: I was the lead on a successful TV series for six years, J.D. I'm doing fine.
- Alex: Someone's playing fast and loose with the word successful.
- Grover Foster: 'Teacher's Pet' was like the 'Cheers' of TV shows.
- Alex: 'Cheers' was the 'Cheers' of TV shows.