- Galina 'Red' Reznikov: Have you seen this video? "Hot Cheetos and Takis"? It's wonderful. Children are so motivated these days.
- Nicky Nichols: It's hard to lose a pet. Eh! Especially when he gets blown up by your ex-husband during a botched attempt to murder your neighbor. I mean, it's a tale as old as time.
- Aleida Diaz: It's hard to get answers from those bitches, you know? Oh, sorry. Can I say bitches?
- Susan Logan: You can.
- Aleida Diaz: Shit!
- Susan Logan: Oh! You can't say that.
- Aleida Diaz: What kind of fucking bullshit rule is that?
- Gina Murphy: So you're like one of those mole people that they do special news reports and horror movies about?
- Frieda Berlin: Yeah, we prefer "survivalist."
- Alison Abdullah: Some of us are smart enough not to go near an unmarked box. I mean, that could be anything. It could be a bomb. Anthrax. Itty-bitty soldiers.
- Janae Watson: She used to sleep here, man. Right there. Across from me. Sometimes, she'd do this thing, where she'd bounce her leg while she was trying to fall asleep. The whole fucking bed would creak. It drove me crazy. I would wanna punch her. Now I can't fall asleep. 'Cause I lie here... waiting for the squeak.
- Yoga Jones: You think she liked us?
- Anita DeMarco: Maybe. Before we kidnapped her and nailed her to a cross.
- Nicky Nichols: Someone, who was definitely *not* my meditation instructor at rehab number 7 in Sedona, one told me that depression is holding on and sadness is, uh... letting go.
- Brook Soso: I'm not sad. I'm angry. I hate everyone. Anyone... laughing, or smiling, or... being alive, is fucking offensive to me and they should all just fucking die.