- Johnny Carson: Somebody said you met a girl once at a movie and you exchanged numbers or something? What, what was that about?
- Ricky Schroder: Oh, well, I met this little- I met this girl, she's only eleven, but...
- Johnny Carson: That's, hoo...
- Ricky Schroder: Listen, listen...
- Johnny Carson: That's slammer city.
- Johnny Carson: I am not hosting the Oscars this year - I'm doing a more pleasurable task. I'm having root canal work.
- Johnny Carson: [showing a photo of women playing alpenhorns] Disney Studios, for example, brought us this sequel called "Pinocchio's Daughters" - a story about two girls whose noses grow a half inch every time they say, "This is my first time."