Lady in Waiting (2015)

Mandy May Cheetham: Lucy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lucy : I really wanted to talk to you about it in person, not like text, or DM, or in the comments section of your skateboarding videos.

• Lucy : I'm scared and terrified, which is the same thing except those words have a different resonance you know? Like "liar" and "dickhead". No! Not you.

• Lucy : My ex-boyfriend, the one that I broke up with in May, he tweeted at me three hours ago that he had a baby! It's not mine.

• Lucy : So your partner was pregnant while you were parking your pink bus in my fur garage.

• Lucy : Mm, it's August, so May was obviously nine months ago.

• Lucy : He has this thing he does where he lies, and at first it was just about little things like, you know, having a job or that we had the same spirit animal or having dated Janet Jackson. But I was willing to overlook all of those things because... he has a giant horsecock.

• Lucy : So I'm basically just here to do my due diligence and make sure that you don't have any babies on the way or, you know, that you aren't dating Janet Jackson, or that you don't have any words that you are uncomfortable spelling that are in the top 100 words most commonly used words in the English language. Because I've decided that that is my prerequisite from now on for who I decide to have sex with.

• Lucy : So, I like your froth-rocket but I just wanted to make sure you're not fucking with me. You know, like, "what are your intentions with my vagina?"

• Lucy : And he spelled "though" T-H-O. I mean who the fuck does that? Fucking spells "though" T-H-O? Are you a millenial? No you are a grown-ass man with a goddamned newborn and you don't even know how to fucking spell.

• Lucy : It's like, fuck me, but don't fuck with me.

• Lucy : So I'm drawing the fucking line at "though".