The Bullwinkle Show (TV Series)
Lazy Jay Ranch: Parts 1-2 (1961)
Bill Scott: Bullwinkle J. Moose, Black Eagle, Jim, Trampas, Gunslinger #2, Papa Clinker, Dudley Do-Right, Homer, Additional Voices
Quotes
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[Somebody has swapped out the broadcast feed at the start of the episode, airing a western in place of "Rocky & Bullwinkle" and confusing the narrator]
Narrator : Now, who could have - ?
Bullwinkle J. Moose : I cannot tell a lie - more's the pity - : *I* did it!
Rocket J. Squirrel : *You* did it? But why, Bullwinkle?
Bullwinkle J. Moose : 'Cause I'm just *crazy* about westerns!
Rocket J. Squirrel : You're just crazy, period!
Bullwinkle J. Moose : Can I help it if I am a cowboy at heart?
Rocket J. Squirrel : But you're already a big television hero-type.
Bullwinkle J. Moose : Yeah, but why don't I ever get to wear a big hat like Two-Gun Twombly?
Rocket J. Squirrel : Well, there's a good reason.
Bullwinkle J. Moose : I'm not a U.S. Marshal?
Rocket J. Squirrel : No, your antlers are in the way!
Bullwinkle J. Moose : Yeah, that's right...
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[Bullwinkle spots an intriguing want ad in the newspaper]
Bullwinkle J. Moose : Look at this, Rocky!
[reading]
Bullwinkle J. Moose : "For Sale: Lazy Jay Ranch. 1,000 acres of top bottom land..."
Rocket J. Squirrel : [reading] "Your chance to go west, fast. Box 13-13, Squaw's Ankle, Wyoming."
Bullwinkle J. Moose : [reading] "Full price: $28."
Rocket J. Squirrel : It's out of the question. $28... That's a lot of money!
Bullwinkle J. Moose : Yeah...
Rocket J. Squirrel : And we don't know anything about ranching!
Bullwinkle J. Moose : Yeah...
Rocket J. Squirrel : On the other hand, it *is* a new adventure.
Bullwinkle J. Moose : Yeah...
Rocket J. Squirrel : And the rating on our show's been slipping a little.
Bullwinkle J. Moose : Yeah...
Rocket J. Squirrel : So let's do it!
Bullwinkle J. Moose : I figured if I waited long enough you'd be back. Let's go!
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[from the "Fan Club" segment]
[Rocky and Bullwinkle decide to publish their own newspaper, to promote their fan club]
Boris Badenov : [in disguise as a reporter] Did I hear "newspaper"? Permit me to introducing mine self: William Randolph Hearse.
Rocket J. Squirrel : William Randolph Hearse?
Boris Badenov : That's my pen name. I used to write obituary column. Later I won Bullitzer Prize.
Bullwinkle J. Moose : I'll bet...
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[from the "Fan Club" segment]
[Rocky and Bullwinkle are starting their own newspaper]
Rocket J. Squirrel : What'll we name the paper?
Bullwinkle J. Moose : How 'bout "The Bullwinkle and Rocky Fan Club Weekly Gazette and Star Express"?
Boris Badenov : Well, that takes care of the front page.
Rocket J. Squirrel : He's right, Bullwinkle. Why don't we just call it "The News"?
Bullwinkle J. Moose : That's catchy...
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[Rocky and Bullwinkle leap off a moving train and Bullwinkle lands on his head]
Rocket J. Squirrel : Bullwinkle! Are you hurt?
Bullwinkle J. Moose : Yeah. I think I got eternal injuries.
Rocket J. Squirrel : You mean *internal* injuries.
Bullwinkle J. Moose : I mean *eternal* injuries. I'm *always* getting hurt.
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[Rocky and Bullwinkle have just gotten a ride into the town of Squaw's Ankle]
Wagon Man : You fellers fixing to stay on a piece?
Bullwinkle J. Moose : On a piece of what?
Rocket J. Squirrel : Bullwinkle, he means are we here to stay.
Bullwinkle J. Moose : [gravely] None of us are here to stay, Rock.
Rocket J. Squirrel : I mean - !
Bullwinkle J. Moose : We all gotta go sometime.
