- [the two Zombie actors tell Liv and Clive they are the Zombie High show]
- Zombie #1: Hey, hey, without us, there is no Zombie High. It's just... High.
- Zombie #2: Yeah, where's the mutual respect? You know what'd be fun? A zombie show where a zombie's the star.
- Clive Babineaux: That's dumb.
- [Ravi tells Major the good news about the location of the tainted Utopium]
- Major Lilywhite: Where do you think it is?
- Olivia Moore: In the stomach of a dead drug dealer with a prosthetic leg.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Well, the good news is, we've managed to narrow the location of his unmarked grave to a single 100-acre field.
- Major Lilywhite: You really need to work on the whole 'good news' concept.
- [Major gives Liv her Christmas present]
- Major Lilywhite: I got you a little something, Liv.
- Olivia Moore: [Liv opens the present and gasps] Zombie High, the Complete Second Season!
- Ravi Chakrabarti: What's my gift?
- Major Lilywhite: Not having to watch that.
- [Liv and Ravi arrive to the set of Zombie High]
- Olivia Moore: Last night, I was watching Zombie High, and now I'm friggin' in it. But only because the star's been murdered. Is there a word that means both cool and awful?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: In the 16th century, the word was egregious. Now it just means, 'shockingly bad.' As in, the way Zombie High treats science.
- Olivia Moore: It's not supposed to be a documentary on zombie biology.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Then mission accomplished.
- [Ravi sits Liv and Major on the couch to tell them something]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: I thought you should both hear this at the same time.
- Major Lilywhite: Oh, no, are you and Mom getting a divorce?
- [Ravi tells Major and Liv that the two of them get to have zombie sex now that there's no cure]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Silver lining... You know, you two finally get to have hot zombie sex. Right? Room temperature zombie sex?
- Major Lilywhite: Yeah, about that...
- Olivia Moore: We broke up.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Major mouths to Ravi that Liv broke up with him] Ah. Right.
- [Agent Bozzio asks Clive to leave work early with her]
- Clive Babineaux: Oh, I can't. I'm doing another canvass of Pioneer Square.
- Dale Bozzio: Swing by when you're done and you can canvass this. And by canvass, I mean have sex with.
- [Liv, Clive and Ravi go over the murder of actor Jordan Mason Marsh]
- Clive Babineaux: The actor who pulled the trigger apparently had no idea he was holding a real weapon.
- Olivia Moore: Who was that?
- Clive Babineaux: Wyatt Carver.
- Olivia Moore: [Liv in excitement] Cody! Sorry.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Uh, she's seen every episode. On purpose.
- [Liv and Ravi show Jordan Marsh's pierced penis to Clive at the morgue]
- Olivia Moore: Well, there it is. Some of the most famous junk in America.
- Clive Babineaux: Cover it. Cover it. Who gets pierced there? Why?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: It's called a Prince Albert. I wonder how you get it through airport security?
- [Liv and Ravi tell Clive they weren't surprised by Jordan's pierced penis]
- Clive Babineaux: You two don't seem that skeeved.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: We've pulled stranger things out of corpses. Golf balls. A snake.
- Olivia Moore: Besides, we were expecting it.
- Clive Babineaux: Jordan's pierced...
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Yeah, it's front and center on his sex tape.
- Clive Babineaux: He had a sex tape?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi looks at Liv] Aw... So innocent.
- [Ravi watches a scene of Zombie High]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Ugh, it's like a bad-acting workshop. This is what you get when a TV show worships at the altar of youth, bimbos and himbos running around screaming, in a school where, apparently, shop class isn't the only place to see something wooden and poorly constructed.
- [Liv on actor-brains defends to Ravi what an actor is]
- Olivia Moore: That's the essence of acting. It's a search for truth.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi crosses his legs and fingers like a therapist] Tell me more about this truth and how to find it.
- Olivia Moore: To create a reality where the truth is fear of zombies, I would draw on a sense memory of something that scared me. Like the time I went camping and I saw a bear.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Or the times you've seen actual zombies.
- Olivia Moore: My point is you don't act with words. You act with your soul. With your imagination. That's what gives the words life.
- [Liv on actor-brains does some improvisation with Ravi and an imaginary apple]
- Olivia Moore: Remember what it's like to eat an apple? Oh, look, there's one now, ripening on this tree.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Liv picks the apple off the imaginary tree] Hey, I was saving that.
- Olivia Moore: [Liv shines the apple on her lab coat before taking a bite of it] The skin is so smooth and cool. Here, let me make it shiny before I... Mmm. So crisp and juicy. Oh, sorry. I got some on you.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Fascinating. I wish I had some popcorn. Oh, wait, I do.
- [Ravi smiles, opening his computer desk and pulling out a bowl of imaginary popcorn]
- [Liv asks Clive why he was twitchy around the Romero Zombies]
- Olivia Moore: What's with you? Why were you all twitchy?
- Clive Babineaux: Zombies kinda freak me out.
- [Liv finds Ravi in the morgue watching Zombie High]
- Olivia Moore: I thought you hated the show.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi rolls his eyes] I did. But it's like mental pork rinds. I can't stop!
- [Liv tells Clive about the time Ravi took a video of her snoring]
- Olivia Moore: Ravi took a video of me snoring, and I was on the verge of ripping out every follicle of his facial hair if he hadn't deleted it.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi next to the two] Steady.
- [first lines]
- Olivia Moore: [Liv arrives at Ravi's house] Hey, I just got your message. I came as soon as I could.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: I texted you last night. Several times. Where were you?
- Olivia Moore: Out thinking. Where were you, Pigpen?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Out digging.
- [Liv tells Blaine that he'll reverse back into a zombie]
- Blaine DeBeers: How long have I got? If it's less than a couple weeks, I need to add brains to my Christmas wish-list.
- [Blaine responds to knowing that he'll go back to being a zombie]
- Blaine DeBeers: Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!
- [Liv cuts the red suit off the dead Santa Claus in the morgue]
- Olivia Moore: This isn't the sort of visit from old Saint Nick I had in mind.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi into his recorder] Beard color, white as snow.
- [Major finds a car license plate while looking for the tainted Utopium in the 100-acre field]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Add it to the, 'Not Utopium' pile.
- [Blaine counts his money at the funeral home]
- Blaine DeBeers: You know, it's hard enough being a rich zombie. You got to worry about paying taxes, eating brains. And now some nut-job's out there picking off your kind like ducks in a shooting gallery.
- [Liv on the set of Zombie High recalls some of the show's scenes]
- Olivia Moore: [Liv gasps in the school hallway] Oh, my God. That's where Burdick defied principle Henson and went out looking for more ammo.
- Olivia Moore: [Liv gasps] And this is the drinking fountain where Burdick first got the news that his foster brother was his actual brother.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi gasps when he see's the actual dead Burdick] And that's where Burdick died.
- [Clive eats a fresh muffin on the set of Zombie High]
- Clive Babineaux: Did you know the donuts at the precinct are all a day-old? That's how civil servants are valued.
- [Gilda tells Vaughn Du Clark they have a major problem]
- Gilda: I think we've got a major problem.
- Vaughn Du Clark: A 'Major' major problem or a minor major problem?
- [Gilda tells Vaughn Du Clark what Mom used to say about him]
- Gilda: Do you know what Mom used to say about you?
- Vaughn Du Clark: 'You should've gotten that man's name?'
- Gilda: 'Vaughn Du Clark, smartest man in the world until you stroke his ego. Then he's like all the rest.'
- [Liv and Clive talk to a Zombie actor while in line for food on the set of Zombie High]
- Zombie #1: You must be new. Has anyone showed you how zombies walk?
- [the Romero Zombie actor holds up his arms and plate, grunting]
- [Liv tells Ravi that Jordan Marsh was trying to star in the new Power Rangers movie before his murder]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: If I'm hearing you right, there's going to be another Power Rangers movies!
- [last lines]
- Dale Bozzio: [Agent Bozzio sees the sketches of Blaine on Clive's police desk] Who's this?
- Clive Babineaux: Uh, a suspect in the Meat Cute Massacre. Why?
- Dale Bozzio: I just met him. Two of my missing presumed-dead guys had his phone number on them. This is our guy!
- [Clive goes over the murder of David Biel the Santa Claus]
- Clive Babineaux: David Biel, a resident of the Yesler Mission Men's Shelter. Lately, he's been raising them money at Third and Cherry dressed like this, ringing a bell.
- Olivia Moore: Any idea why someone rang his?
- [Don E. tells Blaine that he thinks Chief might've scratched somebody]
- Blaine DeBeers: [Blaine looks at the rugged Don E] What happened? You tussle with a Doberman?
- Don Everhart: One of our client's bodyguards went after Chief by mistake. Oh, he thinks he may have scratched him.
- Blaine DeBeers: Well, I guess we'll hear soon if all zombie hell breaks loose.
- [the Zombie High prop master Fitz calls the actor Jordan Marsh Numbnuts]
- Clive Babineaux: Did you find the prop gun?
- Fitz: Not yet. You can bet it'll be me who gets fired for it, not Numbnuts.
- Olivia Moore: I love the cute little nicknames the crew have for the actors.
- [Gilda tries to tell Vaughn Du Clark that Major is playing him]
- Gilda: He's playing you.
- Vaughn Du Clark: Please. You can't play a player.
- Gilda: You're too vain to see it. He's blinded you with man-jewelry and the promise of a rock-hard ass.
- Vaughn Du Clark: Well, promise delivered.
- [Bonnie tells Liv that Wyatt Carver was trying out for the role of the Blue Power Ranger]
- Lana: After we started sleeping together. He's so nice and... He'd ask about my job and what was going on in the writers' room. Then a few months ago, he read for the Blue Ranger part in the new Power Rangers movie.
- Olivia Moore: I don't know if he has the range for Blue.
- [Vaughn Du Clark calls for his zombies in the Max Rager labs]
- Vaughn Du Clark: There they are. Come on, people. Look alive-ish.