- Dr. Joan Watson: We'd like your employee records and data.
- Eric Frazier: With all due respect, this has got a pretty broad reach. I'd like our lawyers to take a look at it first.
- Sherlock Holmes: Indeed. They might contest the invasion of privacy as being too ironic.
- [Sherlock Holmes struggles to explain to friend Agatha Spurrell why he won't help her have a baby]
- Agatha Spurrell: It's ok, Sherlock. The things I said, I put too much pressure on you.
- Sherlock Holmes: You made some good points.
- Agatha Spurrell: Not enough to sway you, though.
- Sherlock Holmes: You're right. I am... remarkable. That's precisely why I can't help you.
- Agatha Spurrell: What does you being amazing have to do...
- Sherlock Holmes: No, no, no, I didn't say I was amazing, I said I was remarkable. The things that I do, the things that you care about, um... you think that I do them because I'm a good person. I do them because it would hurt too much not to.
- Agatha Spurrell: Because you're a good person.
- Sherlock Holmes: No, it hurts, Agatha.
- [points to the city]
- Sherlock Holmes: All this. Everything I see, everything I hear, touch, smell; the conclusions that I'm able to draw; the things that are revealed to me; the ugliness. My work focuses me. It helps. You say that I'm using my gifts. I say I'm just treating them. So I cannot, in good conscience, pass any of that on. Sorry.
- Dr. Joan Watson: That's the sex blanket.
- Sherlock Holmes: I have asked you not to call it that.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Who is she, and what time is she coming over?
- Dr. Joan Watson: You want company?
- Sherlock Holmes: No thank you.
- Dr. Joan Watson: How about some ice cream? You know, it's stuff that people eat when they're feeling a little down.
- Sherlock Holmes: I have everything I need right here.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Okay.
- [she gets up and starts to leave]
- Sherlock Holmes: Oh - what kind of ice cream?
- Dr. Joan Watson: I'll bring you a couple of choices.
- Eric Frazier: This is literally all the information we have on our users: where they are, where and when we pick them up, where and when we drop them off. That's it.
- Sherlock Holmes: That's it? You're describing your level of omniscience that's traditionally ascribed to God and Father Christmas.
- Sherlock Holmes: Agatha is not in love with me.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Oh, then what's the problem?
- Sherlock Holmes: She's asked for a donation.
- Dr. Joan Watson: What, to an environmental group?
- Sherlock Holmes: To her uterus. She has asked for my... issue.