- Sharon Morris: I don't want to be mean. I just need some space... and you take up a lot of space.
- Rob Norris: Oh, yeah?
- Sharon Morris: Yeah... You're the second biggest thing in this flat after the bed. You're bigger than the wardrobe.
- Rob Norris: Well, that's because your wardrobe is a joke.
- Sharon Morris: It's not a joke. It's roomy and practical.
- Rob Norris: If it's so roomy, then why are my clothes still in my suitcase?
- Sharon Morris: It's roomy for my stuff.
- Rob Norris: You let me put my penis in your mouth, but you won't let me put my T-shirts in your drawer?
- Rob Norris: Your boobs look huge in that dress! If you'd had those when we met, I would have got you double pregnant.
- Dave: [Referring to Sharon, who is not present] She's making you propose twice?
- Rob Norris: No, she's not making me. I want to.
- Dave: No, you don't. Listen, after you leave, I'm going to fuck her
- [referring to Svetlana, who has just left the room]
- Dave: and then she is going to leave... And that's pretty great.
- Rob Norris: That is great... for you. For me, a different thing is great.
- Fergal: [about Sharon's baby] Are you going to keep it?
- Sharon Morris: Oh, I don't know? Are you going to keep yours?
- Fergal: I've already invested in them. They've got braces and stuff now. They're worth money.
- Dave: [to his girlfriend] You'd better watch this one, honey. He'll get you pregnant just by looking at you with his dick!